


The Spider's Thread

by Tayani



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Akira is gay af for Goro, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Redemption, Romance, Slow Burn, They are both sassy little shits, spoilers for the whole game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-05-04 19:19:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14599938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tayani/pseuds/Tayani
Summary: Akechi Goro made peace with his own mortality long ago. He did not regret dying the way he did, in his last bid to take his fate in his own hands.But it seems that sometimes, gods just don't care whether you decide to die or not. And sometimes, one Akira Kurusu is more than ready to make sure that this time, you definitely will be saved.





	1. Spiders and Butterflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is not a drill! I finally got down to writing all of the ideas I have from the file of Goro Akechi Deserved Better. I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> You can expect weekly updates, at least for the foreseeable future ^^
> 
> Big thanks to Nate, the one person without whom this work would have ended on 300 words and an unfinished draft. All the good stuff in this is thanks to them.
> 
> Second chapter will be posted on: May 17th

There was a strange sense of accomplishment in seeing the watertight gate shut between him, the shadows and the Phantom Thieves. A sweet satisfaction in seeing the disgusting caricature of himself doubled over in pain from his bullet. And finally, peace in hearing Joker make his promise to him. Akechi closed his eyes. This was the end, he knew… but this was alright. He couldn’t be allowed to live anyway. This way… perhaps he could redeem himself somewhat, in the very end.

As he straightened up, pain and anger momentarily forgotten, and aimed his gun at his double, Akechi smiled.

“So, my final enemy is a puppet version of myself… Not bad.”

In the end, he never felt the bullet as it plunged into his forehead; and even as the light in his eyes went out, Akechi Goro was smiling.

 

* * *

  _Thou hast fallen and lost thy life, unbeknownst to thee the name of the thief._

_Thou hast lost thy wager and becometh but a cog of the strong._

_So thy rehabilitation endeth incomplete, and thy baseless indignity shall becometh reality…_

* * *

Akechi gasped, coughing and wheezing on the floor. He thought it was a floor, at least; for all the substance it had, it could’ve been air instead. His breath burnt in his lungs; he felt as if he has been drowning, or suffocating, and was only now finally allowed to take a breath.

A breath, he quickly remembered, he had no business taking. Wasn’t he dead? Unbidden, his hand shot up, blindly groping over his head. His mask was gone, he realized; there was none on his face, not the one he wore as Robin Hood, and not Loki’s. And his head was whole, not bleeding, not even hurting… What was happening? Where _was_ he..? Surely, this couldn’t be…

“So, the game is over… What a truly foolish end…”

The deep, heavy voice made him look around. Through the heavy bars he could see them now; Igor, and the twins, looking down at him. Was this… Velvet Room? But how? And more importantly… why?

He parted his lips to talk, but no words came out. It felt as if they got stuck in his throat. Igor’s piercing gaze bore into him, as all of the world around it turned dimmer and darker, until nothing was left; not even the eyes of the prison master. Akechi felt cold fingers of panic wrap around his mind. Was this… death? But he had died once already; he was certain of it, he remembered it so clear – why torment him further, with this pointless scene? What was going to happen now?

For the first time in his life, the once-detective wondered whether there truly was something after death; and the thought made cold sweat appear over his body. Which… carried with itself its own set of problems.

Namely, that dead bodies were not capable of producing sweat, as far as he knew.

Akechi closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe. The memories of last few moments threatened to overwhelm him once again, but for now, he pushed them all back. There will come a time to battle with his past, and if he’s lucky enough, he’ll be truly dead before that comes. When he opened his eyes again, Akechi was more or less calm; and able to truly look at his surroundings once more.

He was in what could only be described as a void. Dark, empty, and yet he could support himself on the floor under him; shakily stand up, even. Quick movement of his hands over his body made him realize he was not wearing anything; all his scars were still intact, but the fresh wounds; the ones from the fight with the Phantom Thieves or with his own cognitive version were nowhere to be found.

Alright. He could work with that. Absence of pain was worth not questioning the lack of open wounds on his body.

Akechi looked around himself; at least he thought he made something more or less akin to a full turn. It was hard to tell in the void. As far as he could see, there was nothing, but as he outstretched his hands, to the both sides of him there was pressure. It gave way if he tried to go through it, but even so, Akechi felt he was being herded towards a specific direction. He bit his lip and turned towards where he thought the empty space was open to him without anything blocking the way; and then, pinched the bridge of his nose and turned exactly opposite to it.

“…I’m dead already, I think I had enough of following orders.” he grumbled as he made his way through more and more thickening void around him. Oh, yes. He was done walking the path someone set for him, and done being a puppet. A silent bark of laughter escaped him as he fought through the thickening air out of nothing but spite.

_What an Akira thing to do. Joker would definitely rebel against any rules set in front of him._

It took a while, but as he walked, huffing and pushing his way through what now felt almost as solid as some thick jelly instead of air, Akechi noticed there was something to see beside the void, after all. Laid down under his feet, there was something thin and glistening; and as he bent down to examine it, the thin stickiness of the thread made him frown in recognition. There were spiders here..?

Akechi held the thread gently in his hand; truly, he expected for it to break in his fingers, and yet there it was; the one bit of substance in the darkness of the void around him. He made a move to stand up, when something else appeared; a single butterfly, blue and shining with inner light, fluttering around his head before sitting on his forehead, right where the bullet broke through his skull.

_A spider and a butterfly. Well, at least now I know what the spider eats._ Akechi thought, and the thought was so ridiculous he laughed out loud again. It startled the butterfly; it flew in front of him, and to Akechi’s surprise, it sat on something there. It wasn’t much; an almost translucent, grey tablet with white letters on it, and yet in this all-consuming void, it was almost too much to look at. Akechi squinted and neared the writing, looking at it with a frown, trying to comprehend its meaning.

_Would you like to resume?_

Akechi reached out his hand, not understanding. Resume..? Resume what..? Resume dying? Well, he wouldn’t hate _that_ … But the moment he touched the tablet, and his hand went through the insubstantial texture of it, Akechi felt a pull; as if something grasped him and yanked him forward, and the next moment, he closed his eyes, screaming as the pain enveloped his body and soul, and he has been thrust out of the endless void; and into something else entirely.

 

* * *

 

It happened just after they left the Treasure room; route now secured, and all of them ready to get the hell out of this damn ship. It had to be the worst Palace so far; and they were all exhausted, wounded and leaning onto one another, and yet grinning with the deep satisfaction of completing the initial stage of their infiltration.

It was then that Oracle suddenly stilled beside them, lips parted and eyes wide, even as her googles covered them from view. Joker was the first one to notice something was wrong, and he leaned in beside her, hand on her shoulder and a silent question in his eyes.

She hesitated, he could see that. There was an inner fight happening behind these red googles; Joker could see she desperately wanted to shrug him off and tell them they needed to hurry, that it was nothing; and yet, she also had something to say.

“…Oracle?” he said gently, and with these words, he could see something in her break. She pursed her lips and looked up at him.

“…I got another reading.” she said quietly, causing a soft groan from most of them. Another fight? They were all drained, in no shape to take on another one of the strong enemies that infested Shido’s ship. Besides, shouldn’t they all be more or less gone by now? They took care of all the bigger obstacles on their way here. Oracle wasn’t _supposed to_ be getting any readings, apart from the few odd shadows here and there.

Well, it turned out that wasn’t it; and Oracle shook her head, standing in front of them with their hands behind her back.

“Not an enemy… I think, at least. It’s so weak… And…” She hesitated, again, before sighing as she turned to Joker. “…it’s from behind the watertight door. I don’t know how it’s possible, I lost that signal, I’m sure it disappeared the moment we heard these shots… but now…”

Joker’s eyes widened. He understood, before anyone else had. What Futaba had said could only mean one thing; could only mean that Akechi was still alive there somewhere, in the belly of the ship. He reflected on the hesitance in her voice. She wanted to keep this to herself; the uncertain reading… a reading that could very well mean her mother’s murderer was still alive. The implications sent a chill down the man’s spine, and all of a sudden, he felt blessed for having all of them together around him. Oracle could have taken her revenge here, without as much as lifting a finger. And yet, with all of them looking out for one another…

“…what should we do, Joker?” Panther asked quietly, shifting in her stance. He looked at her wordlessly, then over his whole squad. They were all looking at him. “I know I proposed he help us take Shido down…”

“Fuck that.” Skull shook his head. “We don’t even know it’s him. And besides, what if he tries to go at it again? I had enough of kicking his ass for one day.”

“I’ll say again what I said before. I can’t forgive him for what he did to my father…” Noir hesitated, but then, her eyes turned both sad and determined. “…but that’s not fair. Nothing that happened to him was fair… and if we leave him here… we’ll be no better than he was.”

“…it’s your call, Joker. After all, it’s you he tried to kill.”

The rest of the squad nodded their heads. Joker felt his hands clench. If Noir, of all people, was saying that, he knew the argument was made. Yes, if they left Akechi here to die – again – they’d be no better than him, than Shido, than all of them. Despite everything…

“He tried, but he didn’t… and we don’t know what threats or manipulation Shido used to make him do it, anyway. I forgave him long ago.” he said quietly.

“Of course you did, you goddamn softie.” Skull sighed, but nodded and rolled his arms.  

“I’m with Joker on this.” Fox said quietly, the first time he spoke since the revelation. “I don’t particularly like Akechi, but he was part of our team, for better or worse. It wouldn’t be elegant to leave him behind.”

Joker nodded as well. Who didn’t speak gave him his opinion otherwise; he could see Queen’s determined expression, he could see Mona looking grim but ready to go. Still, he couldn’t ask them to go this far, and for something he considered an almost private matter between himself and the once-detective. It was a private matter, in truth. They were right, Akechi did try to kill him; and then killed himself, or tried to, to save them all. He was the only one of his friends Joker was unable to save, and suddenly, he realized that unanimous decision or not, he couldn’t leave this be. He refused to lose like that, ever again.

“Go, get out of here.” he said with fresh resolve. “I’m going back for him. It’ll be fine, with not many shadows still around, and I can’t drag you with me for this.”

The strained silence broke, and Skull swore with just as much finesse as usual before grinning brightly.

“Well, we better get going to get that bastard out, then.” he looked at Joker’s wide-eyed surprise and laughed. “Awh, c’mon, man. Leader or not, you didn’t think we’d let you go alone, did ya?”

 

* * *

 

“Y’know what, Akira? That dumbass better be worth the trouble… because if not… I’m gonna fucking murder you.” Ryuuji huffed, groaning quietly as he sat on the floor of the attic, most of the squad sprawled in various stages of exhaustion all over the room. Only the bed has been left with an unspoken perimeter of free space around it, with the battered and barely-breathing Akechi laying on it quietly. He was alive, at least; though when they found him back in the Palace, they weren’t so sure.

Akira closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he slowly relaxed on his chair. His thoughts ran to just moments before, to them running quietly through the dark corridors, fighting few odd shadows along the way. He remembered with a shudder how they arrived at the final watertight gate, how they couldn’t figure out how to raise it while Futaba grew more and more panicked, informing them of Akechi’s signal growing weaker and weaker by the second. He was dying there, on the other side, _again_. They were failing him, _again_. And in that moment, even Haru and Futaba seemed desperate for them to _do something_ this time.

Finally, brute force proved their only option; which one of their Personas ended up making a breach he didn’t even know, there was so much rubble and dust and chaos around them; and yet, miraculously, no ambush appeared to take them down from all the noise, and as they ran inside, Akechi laid there, looking, well… pretty dead, at first glance. His Loki costume was still all cracked and bloody, and his hair were dark-red with blood that streaked all around a little, circular bit of clean skin on his forehead; but no injury was on him, not even a bruise when they examined him more closely.

_“He’s dying… but he’s not hurt at all.”_ Akira shuddered as he remembered Morgana whisper that in a somewhat desperate voice. _“We need to get him out of here.”_

That they did, carrying Akechi in turns. It was Akira himself who carried him on his back when they finally made it out and fell onto the pavement, exhausted and receiving strange looks. They were supposed to disband after that, like always, but in the end everyone agreed they would feel better at least escorting Akira with his burden to Leblanc. No one felt at ease just leaving their Leader alone with the very man who tried to assassinate him.

Not that Akechi looked like much of a threat now, of course. He looked… curiously thin and pale, and delicate, laying there on his bed, Akira thought. That princely, mature act gone, he looked almost peaceful, really. The raven shook his head. What was he thinking..?

It seemed some of his friends had similar observations, though.

“…he looks like some damn kid, it’s creeping me out.” Ryuuji mumbled, shifting on his place on the floor. Morgana stretched and meowed in agreement.

“Looks truly can be deceiving.” Yusuke nodded sagely. Behind them, the girls looked at each other and hid a snicker; well, exhausted version of one, at least. Ryuuji turned to them and scowled.

“What are y’all grinning about like creeps?”

“Oh, we just found it peculiar how all the guys on the team are ogling the hot guy on the bed.” Ann giggled, though the laughs that followed were rather sheepish. The hot guy on the bed, yes… but the murderer on the bed regardless. As if realizing that, few sighs broke the stagnant silence between them.

“It’s all nice and dandy since he’s here and still alive, even if he looks like shit for now… but what if he wakes up? When, rather?” Futaba voiced their thoughts, and they all looked at each other – and then to Akira. The raven boy bit his lip. Right. Now comes the hard part.

“…remember by the end of the battle?” he said finally, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “All that talk about him wanting to be acknowledged… to be _special_ … Do you guys think he’d end up joining us..? If that other Akechi didn’t show up?”

“It’s not a question of if he would or would not.” Makoto protested. “He was defeated… would’ve killed us if he could. Wouldn’t joining us be just a way out for him?”

“Well, I might remember wrong, but he didn’t look keen on staying alive back then.” Morgana frowned, jumping onto the table to look over at the still figure on the bed. “If anything, he seemed like he almost wanted us to kill him. But as we talked… something changed, didn’t it? By the end, it almost felt like he was about to cry…”

“Crying is hardly redemption enough, though.” Makoto pursed her lips. In moments like these, she almost looked like her sister, with that piercing gaze. “He’s a murderer; he didn’t show any remorse, he tried to kill Akira…”

“I’m only guessing here…” Akira interrupted, still pinching the bridge of his nose. He waited for them to settle down before straightening up and looking at Futaba.

“…if all he said was true… and we can check if it is…” the orange-haired girl hesitated, before nodding and taking out her phone. “…then, I just gotta say, I… have troubles blaming him for much. I’m sorry, Haru, Futaba, I might sound like an insensitive jerk here, but…”

Akira sighed again and put his glasses on once more; finally, with a determined look in his eyes, he started to talk of what he has been thinking for so long.

“Let’s assume Akechi was the only one responsible for the psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns. That’d mean he got his persona two years ago, when he was fifteen, or even earlier. So… Let’s imagine that. A guy who was an unwanted bastard child of a corrupt, shitty adult… who had to live with his mother’s suicide, and probably thought it was his fault for _being born_ … A guy whom no one wanted, and no one cared for, for all of his life… is suddenly given a god-like power. None of us was in a situation like that. I was with Ryuuji and Morgana when I got my Persona; and it was scary and confusing as hell even so. The rest of us awakened when we were together, as a team. We could help one another, guide one another through. We could tell one another we _weren’t_ crazy, or hallucinating, or worse. He… he had no one to turn to, no one, but…”

Haru finished for him, curling on the couch and bringing her knees to her chest.

“…no one but Shido.”

Akira’s eyes focused on her as he nodded gravely. Futaba shuddered in her spot and moved a bit closer to his side, before looking up, biting her lip.

“…living with your mom’s suicide being made to be your fault… it made me Medjed, and I had Sojiro.” she said in a choked voice. “And I wanted to kill… I wanted myself to die for it… and then, even with you all, I wanted to kill the bastard who killed her. I still do! And… I _don’t_ like it, but…”

“But it’s hard to hate him, isn’t it?” Ann sighed, her eyes soft and sad. The realization was hard to swallow. Here he lay; this boy looking like an angel, peaceful and asleep; a serial murderer, who was so incredibly, frighteningly similar to all of them.

“…well, I know my stuff about shitty fathers.” Ryuuji grumbled, looking at his feet.

“And I of being used and manipulated by the only person you have left.” Yusuke sighed. Haru bit her lip and nodded. Morgana jumped between the girls on the couch and curled up beside Ann, who sighed. Makoto pursed her lips and shook her head.

“…you’re right, Akira. He didn’t deserve to die there, and he does deserve a second chance. He said it to you, right? That he wishes he met you before. Perhaps that’s all the difference it would have taken. Having a friend back then, instead of no one.” she sighed, resting her head in her hands.

“What now, though? We send the calling card, change Shido’s heart… and what next? If Shido spills it, Akechi’s done for. He’ll be locked up.” Ryuuji frowned. “…now you’ve gotten all damn sentimental, I don’t like that. Can you see prison doing a guy like him good? ‘Cause I don’t.”

Makoto shook her head. “I don’t think he’d be given a full sentence… then again, if the public’s outrage at Shido is bad enough, he well might. We’d need to help, all of us. I’d need to make Sis listen to us, help us get him something liveable…”

“Let’s worry about it when we get to it.” Akira interrupted; the talk of Akechi’s possible sentence made him think of his own. His name was now known to the police; even if they succeed, will he still be tried as a Phantom Thief..? Either way, it was a topic he’d rather leave for another time.

“For now, I’m gonna call doctor Takemi to check on this guy… and the rest of you should be heading home.”


	2. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi wakes up, and it does not go as well as Akira had expected.
> 
> Sojiro gets to ask why does he have a serial killer living in his attic now, and Futaba presents some much-needed exposition about the past of one high school detective.

Akira Kurusu stared down at Goro Akechi, their noses so close they’d brush if he leaned even a little bit lower. His hands were pinning Akechi’s to the pillow, and his weight held the former detective’s body down, and as he looked into these wine-red eyes, Akira wondered how the hell did they even end up like this in the first place.

Last evening – when his sanity was still intact – Takemi did come, and the Phantom Thieves did leave. The doctor didn’t tell him anything he couldn’t figure out on his own, and his squad didn’t get any less worried, and as Akira pulled a blanket over himself on the couch and bid Morgana good night, his phone lighting up every few seconds with another text from one or all of them asking if he was still okay, he had to admit he was a little worried himself.

The memory was still so fresh in his mind; one doesn’t forget the plot on one’s own life. And now, the man who was supposed to pull the trigger was with him, sleeping on his bed as he curled on the couch not five meters away from him… And yet, Akira couldn’t bring himself to feel fear, resentment or hatred. Somehow, when he thought of Akechi, he thought of the boy who’d occasionally visit Leblanc; air of melancholy and resignation around him that at the time the raven wrote off to the Phantom Thief situation. He thought of Crow, overly dramatic and eager to be praised, to be of use. He thought, finally, of the man in blue-black costume, aiming his gun at him and of the look he saw in Akechi’s eyes the second before the gate fell closed between them. Despite his warm blankets, Akira felt himself shudder.

How he managed to fall asleep that night, he never knew; but it was hardly a peaceful sleep. For one, he kept trashing and turning on the uncomfortable couch, battling memories and unwelcome thoughts as well as his own discomfort. For another, when Akira finally did fall asleep, he has been woken up at four o’clock in the fucking morning by his unexpected house guest screaming his lungs out and trashing on the bed badly enough he was at a risk of falling out of it.

One does not become a leader of Phantom Thieves because one tends to panic in situations like these; and Akira hadn’t, either. Morgana did, jumping almost right up to the ceiling and hissing as he landed on the table on all fours, but for now, Akira decided not to bother calming the cat; Akechi seemed more in need of comfort at the moment. What he failed to foresee, though, was exactly what effect would seeing _him_ , of all people, have on the boy currently screaming in terror on his bed.

“Y-you…!” Akechi managed to gasp breathlessly, before a string of obscenities that’d earn a wide-eyed look even from Ryuuji left his lips as he tried to untangle himself from the blanket and – presumably – leave. Or kill Akira. Or both, it was hard to say, really. Akira himself wasn’t sure what Akechi was trying to accomplish here; whatever it was, he seemed to be foiled by a blanket, and somehow he couldn’t really find it all that threatening. Despite the absurdity of the situation – or maybe because of it – the raven found himself amused.

“…alright, that’s enough, calm down…” he tried, reaching out his hands, which earned him a sharp smack across his hands. Oh. _So that’s how you wanna play, detective?_ Akira grumbled in frustration and for the next few moments, they wrestled wordlessly, until the raven came out on top, pinning Akechi to the bed and looking down at him with a frown.

“Are you going to keep still and listen now, or do I need to gag you as well?”

Judging by the extremely offended look he received in return for that comment, gag will not be needed.

“Stop freaking out. You’re safe, we got you out of the Palace. You’re in Leblanc.”

“Yes, I was wondering where else could I be that smells of coffee, is dusty and cramped and includes you and the fucking _cat_.” Akechi hissed, looking defiantly up at him. From the side, Morgana gave an offended _I’m not a cat_ , but for now, he seemed to have calmed down on his own. With the former detective behaving more or less like a startled, pissed-off cat under Akira, the actual cat to the side was not on the raven’s mind right now anyway. Indeed, his mind was instead filled with realization of exactly what kind of position the two of them were in, why did it feel _strange,_ though not altogether unpleasant, and most of all, the perhaps silly thought that as much as detective prince Akechi was perfectly pleasant and even cute sometimes, _this_ Akechi, yelling obscenities at him, was somehow preferable… not to mention way more entertaining.

“Great job, ace-detective.” Akira sneered down. “So I’m guessing you’ve just figured out what happened and what you’re doing here all by yourself, and you don’t need me filling you in on that, huh?”

Akechi frowned up at him, but after a moment or two, he relented and looked away, his body stopping in his fruitless attempts to wiggle himself out from under Akira’s weight. Good. No matter how slowly, the raven could feel the former detective’s body relaxing under him, and despite everything, he was glad for it. Whatever terrified Akechi into waking up in such a way must have left him more than a little shaken. It was good to know his comfort was helping, in however little way.

Akira gave Akechi five minutes to battle his pride; he was counting down from third when the former detective broke, and asked in an extremely pissed-off voice.

“…fine. _What happened_. You happy?” he looked up again, only to scowl at Akira’s grin.

“Well, that depends. How much do you remember?” he hummed, and after a while, Akechi seemed to force himself to cooperate again.

“…I remember the ship, the fight, and the puppet version of myself. And then…” the detective hesitated, frowning, and not in annoyance or anger. If anything, he looked vaguely fearful, but also curious. “There was… something. A dream, I suppose.” he said carefully. “And then I woke up here.”

A dream, huh? Akira had to say, he was interested. Was it the kind of dream that started with a blue hue and chains wrapping around him, he wondered? He knew of dreams like _that_ one…

Still, he wasn’t going to press. _Yet_.

“You didn’t miss much… not exactly. We found you, after we secured the route to the treasure. You were all bloody and barely alive… _dying_ , even… but there was not a wound on your body. We got you out, got you here, I had a doctor I know look over you, and now you’re awake and screaming bloody murder at an hour that is so indecent it’s basically a slut.”

“…no wound…?” Akechi echoed, his eyes wide and thoughtful and reminding Akira of all of the times he saw this guy be posed with a particularly challenging problem. Slowly, once he was more or less certain Akechi won’t try to hit him again, Akira sat up and released the other boy’s wrists, watching as his left hand shot up to his forehead, feeling the unmarred, soft skin. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together here.

“…you got shot.” Akira stated, matter-of-factly as he watched Akechi with wide eyes. “You were… _dead_ , weren’t you? Futaba’s navi wasn’t malfunctioning. You really _did_ die…”

For a long while after that, the two of them stared at one another, wordlessly. Akechi parted his lips, and took in a sharp breath; it seemed, momentarily, like he was about to panic; like he was about to start flailing and screaming again, and so Akira quickly leaned in and lightly rested his hands on his shoulders, keeping him down.

“Okay, no freaking out. If I need to have a zombie in my bed then at least behave and don’t eat my brains, okay?” he wasn’t sure what he was spouting, but he kept going anyway. That’s what Yoshida taught him, right? Dissolving the tension with humour. And it seemed to be working; at least Akechi looked less panicked and more offended and angry now, which… was actually comforting.

“As far as I’m aware, we’re both zombies here.”

“You know what? You’re right. Zombie party!” Akira grinned, earning another scandalized look from the former detective before finally, finally getting off of him, sitting on the side of the bed. Akechi laid still, for now. Akira wasn’t sure whether he was just exhausted or trying to lull him into false sense of security there.

“…you’re ridiculous. A fucking ridiculous idiot.”

“Don’t forget the criminal trash living in an attic part.”

“Shut up.” Akechi hesitated, before looking away again; this time, his words sounded bitter.

“Very well, you filled me in on the situation. So, what’s the plan from now on? You found me, got me out of the Palace. I’m at your mercy now. Are you going to kill me? A little payback for before?” he mumbled, before looking back at Akira. The way his eyes were empty now, almost like these of cognitive Akechi’s, made something deep and unwelcome ache in the raven’s chest.

“Or is it going to be all dramatic, Orient Express-style? Are Phantom Thieves going to gather around me, stabbing me all together as a team?” he barked a bitter laugh. “I can see your group going for dramatics such as this…”

“No one’s gonna kill you.” Akira said quietly; in a rarely serious tone of voice that seemed to pull Akechi to a stop in his ravings. “I admit it’s not like everyone’s gonna be your best buddy now, but… they are ready to give you a chance.”

“…you pity me.” Akechi said quietly, in a voice so filled with disgust he could barely contain himself.

“What does pity have to do with it? What is your problem?” Akira frowned at the stubborn detective on his bed. “Are you an idiot, Akechi? I never wanted you to die. I want you to come back, to be one of us, you twisted bastard. You know, when push came to a shove, you kind of did save all of our lives while sacrificing yourself. You fought against what Shido, hell, what _we_ thought you’d do, and you cut your own path. As far as I’m concerned, that makes you a Phantom Thief, and by extension, it also makes you one of us.”

Akechi stared at him. This was a lot to take in, Akira understood that, but he just couldn’t stop now. He was so done with the detective doubting everything he said, doubting _himself,_ doubting the Phantom Thieves…

“…and if I don’t want to be _one of you_?”

“Sorry, you already are. I don’t make the rules.”

That annoyed scowl appeared on Akechi’s face again as he sat up, shoving Akira away from himself. The raven moved away a bit, chuckling at the other’s anger. Ah, he definitely had way too much fun with this…

“What is so bad about it, anyway? You wanted to take down Shido, right? So help us do just that. Oh, and no killing anyone anymore. That’s like, my only condition.”

“…and what makes you think I still give a fuck about Shido?” Akechi said quietly, looking away from the raven boy. All of a sudden, he seemed tired, defeated; and in his next words, Akira realized why was that.

“I told you already… this whole time, all I wanted… was to be acknowledged. I know it’ll never happen, now. Meeting with his cognition of me made me face that truth, at least. You can take Shido down without me… and you know as much, all of you.”

Akira was silent, letting him talk; perhaps this was exactly what Akechi needed right now. People sometimes told Akira it was easy to talk to him, and maybe this was because the raven-haired boy knew that sometimes, if he shut up and listened, people would actually open up on their own. With how weary and exhausted Akechi seemed at the moment, perhaps it was one of such moments.

“…I wish you left me there.” the older boy murmured after a while, encouraged by the silence. “I told you that, too… you should have abandoned me long ago. It felt… almost peaceful, back then, aiming at that puppet. You made that promise, and I felt like at least I had some purpose in it all. Now… I just feel empty. You keep going on and on how I should join you, help you, but why bother..? I already made peace with the fact I won’t be the one to defeat Shido. You will. I… just don’t have anything else worth living for now, and that’s alright.”

“…and you say _I’m_ the one who’s incomprehensible. Of _course_ it’s not alright. Just because you made some twisted revenge plot your whole life doesn’t mean you can’t still find something else in it for yourself. It’s not too late.”

Judging from the bitter smile Akechi’s lips turned into, the detective did not share Akira’s opinion on the matter. Still, he left the argument, his voice slowly moving more into the polite – if tired – prince detective persona once more.

“And what’s your team’s opinion on it? I brought unimaginable pain on so many of them… Isn’t proposing that someone like me join you a little irresponsible towards them?”

“Well, about that… they actually all agreed it was pretty damn impossible to hate you, even knowing what you did.” Akira said quietly. He watched Akechi’s eyes widen at that, blinking in disbelief. “Look, what you went through… you’re basically what we could be. We had Morgana, though; we had friends, we had families, and you… no one was there for you. And… as we started talking about it, we ended up agreeing it’d be a pity not to see what could become of you, if you had what we had from the start.”

Again, Akechi was silent for a long while. Akira frowned lightly as he watched the detective’s pretty face, watched him analyse everything he had just said. When he finally spoke, Akechi’s voice was careful.

“…so I’m some sort of a… social experiment for the Phantom Thieves now..?”

“Yeah, you can think of it like that.” Akira grinned lightly. “A cute little group project.”

Akechi groaned.

“I hate all of you.”

“But you’ll accept..?”

“…well, do I have a choice?” the detective sneered, before shaking his head and falling back against his pillows. “I don’t understand why you’re going through all this trouble, but… very well. I’ll… help you steal Shido’s heart, and make him pay. But that’s the end of it, alright?”

Akira grinned at that, nodding his head, before raising one finger, a little, cheeky smile still on his face.

“There are rules, though. We have about three weeks until the 18th. You’ll try being sociable throughout them. Getting all of the Phantom Thieves to accept you might be tough in that timeframe, but I’ll have you try. I’ll try to get Boss to let you stay here for the time being, so me and Morgana can keep an eye on you, but he’ll probably get you to help out in the shop. You don’t mind, right? I’ll teach you the ropes.”

As much as Akira seemed to get more and more excited as he elaborated on their next three weeks, Akechi looked more and more annoyed. Finally, he groaned and sat up, the seething expression once more on his face.

“I agreed to help you, not to be your team’s damn mascot. How about I’ll just kill you all off one after the other and save myself the trouble, huh?” he growled, only to blink when Akira, with a completely straight face, stuffed his hand into Akechi’s pocket, took out his phone and threw it away, Morgana intercepting it and laying over it protectively. Akechi stared at them, words frozen on his lips, a completely scandalized look on his face.

“…what the… give me my phone back!” the detective yelped, leaning over and trying to reach for the couch, Morgana’s fur bristling defensively as he hissed before Akira easily threw Akechi back onto the bed once more, pinning his wrists down again.

“Good thinking, Joker!”

“Thanks.” the raven grinned at his cat before looking down at seething Akechi. Ah, they were in this position again.

“I could get used to this.” he mused, only to let out a painful hiss when Akechi’s knee dug into his stomach. Well, alright, he deserved that one; though Akira had to say he didn’t mind the pain so much when he noticed the fleeting splash of colour running over the detectives cheeks. A moment’s position shift later, Akira was pinning thrashing Akechi down once more, frowning down at him.

“I said, no killing. You can’t access the Metaverse without your phone, so I’m gonna say you’re pretty safe for now. And let me tell you this – you can talk all you like how little you care about Shido now, but I’m not gonna believe you’ll be content with being able to kick his ass and not doing it. And _that_ is not going to happen if you don’t have your phone, so either you act nice and do what I say, or we’ll go and steal Shido’s heart on our own, and you’ll be watching and waiting home for me like a good boy.”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Awww, come on, you’re making me blush.”

“You… you fucking _piece of trash_ , I swear, I’m going to kill you!”

“I’m pretty sure you did already. Didn’t really do that much of a good job, but, ah…”

“Shut up! I’ll kill you, permanently this time! I’m gonna..!”

“Do you want that phone back or not..?” As much as Akira wouldn’t mind yanking Akechi’s chain a bit more, it _was_ almost five in the morning by now, and he had to get up early in order to get Sojiro up to speed on why exactly did he have a serial killer living with him in Leblanc’s attic. The raven sighed, watching the detective under him throw one dirty look after another. Really, if looks could kill, Akira would have turned into a little pile of ash by now.

“Okay, look, we made a deal. You’re just stuck with us until 18th. Just give me this much time. Alright?”

Akechi watched him; Akira’s determination clearly surprising to the older boy. Hesitantly, he settled down under the other’s weight once more, these suspicious, wine-red eyes focusing on Akira’s silvery-dark ones.

“…you really are… completely incomprehensible. _Why_ do you care so much? You don’t need me, I tried to kill you, I killed some of your friends’ family, and others… you should _hate me_ , so _why_ …”

Akira smiled lightly at that, and once more – and hopefully for the last time this night – he let Akechi’s hands go and moved to sit on the side of the bed again.

“Because I wanna save you this time.”

“…you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Yep.” Akira flashed him a grin this time. Judging by his reaction, Akechi was not amused.

“…I still hate you.”

“Yeah, I know. But it’s a deal, right?”

Akechi frowned and scowled up at him before looking away.

“…fine. I’ll stick to your stupid deal. Also… If I’m gonna be stuck here from now on, clean the damn room? You have cobwebs all over your hair.”

 

* * *

 

 

Akechi had asked him why did he care so much about him accepting their little deal, and though Akira answered him truthfully, he didn’t give him the full explanation.

It was true that he wanted to save him. Akechi coming back to life – how, he had no idea, and wondered whether any of them will ever find out – was a second chance not just for the detective, the way Akira saw it. The gate closing between them, the finality of it was still fresh in his mind; and Akechi’s weak cough as he made his last stand and they made their last promise was something he knew he’ll never be able to forget. It was the one moment in his life when Akira felt like he truly failed someone who – in another life, in another time – could have been his friend.

He was not going to waste his chance this time.

If only his team felt the same way. Sojiro, for one, wasn’t happy when few hours later Akira dressed and run down to the cafe, leaving both Akechi and Morgana sleeping upstairs. By the look of him, the old man already knew, and as Futaba has been sitting on one of the high stools, balancing the glass with her cocoa on the edge of the counter, it was clear _how_ he knew.

“So. You brought another troublesome one in, huh…” Sojiro sighed, shaking his head ruefully. Akira rubbed the back of his neck, trying to gauge whether the man would be open to letting Akechi stay, or not at all; still, before he could speak, Futaba looked up from her cocoa, looking pale and tired and yet…

 “…he was telling the truth.” she said, in a soft, determined voice. Both Akira and Sojiro looked at her, and she sighed, looking back down at her cocoa with lips pursed, before starting to explain.

“The story about his mother, foster homes, everything. And… I found more. More of what he didn’t tell us, though… I’m not sure how much he himself knows. Shido didn’t just get in a relationship with Akechi’s mum… there was a sexual assault case, with no perpetrator named, and she dropped her charges, it totally looks like a pay-off. Her suicide was pretty gruesome, too… And what happened then… the foster houses don’t even start to cover it. He has family, did you know? But no one wanted him, because his mother wasn’t married, and he was illegitimate. Akechi’s grandparents took him in for like a week before dropping him off at the orphanage again, and from what documents I found, it wasn’t a pretty scene. Even at the orphanages and foster homes, I dug up like ten different hospitalizations over five years, and at least half of them were _way_ too suspicious. It’s… all pretty terrible. I had no idea…” She sniffled softly, and Sojiro’s glare seemed to soften. Akira sighed, biting his lip, though hearing what he already suspected of Akechi’s past didn’t make his resolve waver. If anything, it strengthened it more.

“…the kid went through some shit, huh.” Sojiro sighed quietly, shaking his head as he started to get busy making curry for them, leaving brewing coffee to Akira; a nice, daily routine they all so desperately needed after everything that’s happened, and with all that was still happening. “Mind you, that doesn’t exempt him…”

“…but it does kind of make you want to help, right..?” Akira murmured quietly, earning a begrudging nod from Sojiro.

“This isn’t fair!” Futaba snapped, making them look back at her. “It’s not… You’re not supposed to be so… so _human_ when you’re the bad guy!”

Akira sighed, gently patting her back as Sojiro let out a gentle huff.

“…you sure that kid’s the bad guy here?” the older man spoke, shaking his head. Futaba pursed her lips again, before sighing as she shook her head as well.

“No. Shido’s the bad guy. And what he did, that’s unforgivable. I don’t even _like_ Akechi… I don’t think I’ll ever really forgive him, like, completely… but even so, just reading through all this shit made me want to kick Shido’s ass three times as much.”

Akira smiled at her gently, and after a moment, she smiled, too.

“…you made the right call, Akira. I think. So… how’s he doing?”

“Before we get to that, Boss… I get that it’s a lot to ask, but…”

“Yeah, he can stay.” Sojiro waved his hand. “I won’t pretend I’m happy about it, but as long as he doesn’t cause any trouble… Besides, I’d prefer to keep him where we can see him anyway. Fair warning, though. He does anything to Futaba, looks at her the wrong way, even, and he’s out together with you, understood?”

Akira grinned at the older man and nodded, before moving his attention back to Futaba. Now that one of his best friends was decisively on board with his grand _social experiment_ , as one Goro Akechi so readily called himself, and he had the permission for the older boy to stay at the attic for the time being, Akira felt like a huge weight had lifted from his shoulders.

“Well, dunno if you could hear him, since I’m pretty sure most of Yongen could, but Akechi woke up last night, yelling his throat out until I got him to shut up. It took a while, and frankly, I’m kind of worried to leave him alone for now, but he agreed to help us with Shido… _and_ to try and, well. Get to know all of us. I figured it might not be too late, yet, for him to make some actual friends, instead of us trying to mutually manipulate one another.”

Futaba hummed quietly, kicking her legs in the air. It didn’t take a genius to see she wasn’t exactly thrilled about the prospect, but was still ready to go through with it. Once Sojiro was done with their breakfast and set three big plates of curry on the counter, he patted Akira’s back lightly as well. The raven smiled and got from behind the counter, moving back towards the attic.

“Well, I gotta wake our sleeping prince up and let him know about the happy news. _Won’t he be thrilled to hear it_ …”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all very much for the wonderful comments and the interest you have shown in this fic! 
> 
> thanks again to Nate, for tirelessly reading through chapter after chapter of my work and helping me shape it into something actually readable. 
> 
> next chapter out on May 24th!


	3. Dreams and Prophecies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goro receives a nightly visitor; Akira discovers the joys of seeing his crush wear his clothes. 
> 
> The Phantom Thieves have a party, and all is well. Safe for nightmares and vague prophecies of doom, of course.

_Akechi Goro was back in the void again._

_He looked down on himself, noticing he was naked and not hurting once more. He looked down and sure enough, there it was; the single spider’s thread under his feet, and it didn’t take long for the butterfly to appear, as well. Yes, he knew exactly where he was; but why was he here, that was another question._

_For what little time he had to calmly think about his predicament – the time when one Akira Kurusu finally decided to leave him be and stop tormenting him and worse, trying to get him to open up – Goro realized that the Velvet Room, the darkness and the tablet with inscription on it was some form of limbo between life and death. If his memories served right – and he would be the first one to admit they didn’t have to – he has truly been given another chance, or took it for himself, anyway, in refusing to go in the direction the void wanted him to._

_Still, that meant he was as of now back to his half-dead state… and that was concerning. Goro didn’t terribly mind dying, but he wanted it to be one way or the other. Being left in this void was disconcerting. Unless…_

_“…ah. I am dreaming now, am I not?” he wondered out loud, startled when a soft voice; a woman’s voice; answered him._

_“Yes. You are dreaming now.”_

_Goro thought for a moment, and then, for his own sanity, turned towards the butterfly; not because he thought the little creature was capable of speech, but because speaking to it felt less ridiculous than talking into the void._

_“…why am I having this dream, then?”_

_“You have been given another chance, Goro Akechi.” the voice replied gently; words appearing in the former detective’s mind even as his ears could’ve sworn there was no sound. “You have met with great injustice in your life; and has caused great injustice yourself. But there is still a path for you to follow, one that will let you avoid ruin. One that will help you reach a happy ending.”_

_Goro narrowed his eyes. This sounded… well, more or less like what Igor had told him, the first time they met, years ago. At the very moment, seeing where he ended up, he didn’t feel particularly inclined on believing him._

_“…happy ending? Why should you care if I get to be happy, or get my justice?”_

_The butterfly fluttered and sat down on his forehead once more. Beneath his feet, the spider’s thread glistened and shone, thin and delicate, but as unbroken as ever._

_“It is not only for your sake. There are those who care for you; those who need you. When the end comes, and your friends need to stand between the world and the ruin, you need to be there to help them.” even as he listened, the voice in Goro’s head grew fainter and fainter. He looked around, and then gently touched his forehead; but the butterfly was gone._

_“For the sake of this world, please… try to live once more, Goro Akechi…”_

* * *

 

 

Goro woke up with a gasp; and at first, he wondered where he was, and why could he see Akira Kurusu hovering over him, with a surprised look on his face no less. Some part of Goro’s brain – the part that has just woken up and was thinking less than coherently, of course – quipped about how cute the raven’s face looked like this, with his lips slightly parted and his hair still mussed… well, more than they were usually, at least.

And then, the memories of last night came back, together with both of his strange dreams; and the former detective scowled, rolling away from under the Phantom Thief’s face and sat up, pulling the blankets over himself.

The fact that Akira reacted to that with laughter did not improve his mood one bit.

“…will you fucking quit laughing your ass off, you creep?!” he snapped finally, pulling his bangs away from his eyes as he scowled down at the raven, currently wheezing on the floor from laughter. Akira only shook his head to his scowls and smiled at him with that _damn, damn_ crooked smile of his that _definitely did not_ make Goro’s annoyance slowly ebb away. No way.

“Sorry, sorry.” Akira giggled, raising his hands up defensively. “It was just so funny, how the moment you saw me you cringed up like swallowing a lemon.”

All of a sudden, the raven’s expression turned serious, as he looked at Akechi with accusatory look.

“Wait, what the hell, you’re right; that’s not funny, that’s _tragic_. Where’s my good morning smile? And here I was, ready to wake you up with a _good morning, honey_ , and a cup of freshly brewed coffee!”

The words made Goro purse his lip and try – and fail – to fight off a blush. Good lord, he had to survive three weeks of this now? Of Akira being… being _himself_ with him, and what’s worse, _flirting_ with him..?

Come to think of it, though, Goro _could_ smell coffee. And coffee was, incidentally, something he very much needed right now. Unbidden, his thoughts escaped to that endless void; the darkness, the thread, the butterfly… and the voice.

_Try to live once more, Goro Akechi_

Without meaning to, the boy felt himself shudder, and not from cold. Akira noticed that, too.

“…hey? You okay?” the younger boy said, tilting his head before standing up, rummaging in a cartoon box that stood on one of the shelves and throwing Goro some fresh clothes.

“Here. You can wear these today; if you give me your address, I’ll get you some of your own clothes, but since we’re about the same size, you should be good for now.” Akira grinned at him, and Goro already knew this was not going to end well – the suspicion being immediately confirmed by the raven boy, who smiled that crooked smile again and offered to help him change.

 

* * *

 

 

Sojiro and Futaba both listened to the yelled curses coming from the floor above, and then watched as Akira sprinted down the steps after being pushed down from them, landing with his face in the opposite wall. Sojiro watched the boy gather himself up, groaning, before he sighed, pushing a little plate towards Morgana who dug in happily.

“I couldn’t exactly catch everything you two were yelling, but I’m gonna go ahead and say you had it coming.” he chimed in as Akira sat down by the counter, still grumbling, and Futaba giggled in her plate of curry. She didn’t want to wait, and Akira couldn’t blame her; he himself debated picking up his spoon before he heard gentle, almost hesitant footsteps coming down the stairs, and the next moment, Akechi Goro stood in front of them, barefoot, in ill-fitting clothes, and…

…and looking absolutely _gorgeous_ , as far as Akira was concerned.

Alright, so maybe Akira did have a thing for the tidy and neat detective from the very start. It was interest at first; Akechi always acted with this pleasant, smiling façade and Akira couldn’t help but do his best to peer under this mask, surprise him, force him to show a genuine expression to him every once in a while. That, and of course, the fact that Goro was handsome, and exactly Akira’s type when it came to guys; and he always looked neat and tidy and fresh, no matter the stress or temperature outside…

Well, right now there was nothing neat or tidy about him. The jeans he wore were fitting pretty well; but the shirt hung loosely on the slimmer boy, and as if to fit that casual image better, Goro opted for gathering his usually loose bangs into a messy ponytail. He looked pretty uncomfortable – for someone only used to appearing in front of people in a suit, this was a pretty huge jump, but again, as far as Akira was concerned, the little blush threatening to spread from Goro’s cheeks all over his face only made him look better.

“…uh-oh.” Sojiro hummed, looking at the way Akira stared at the other boy.

_Uh-oh_ , agreed Akira’s mind, before he forced himself to look away and straighten up on his chair, and Sojiro chuckled and waved towards the last plate of curry.

“Well, here, have something to eat. There’s coffee, too, you look like you could use some.”

Goro bowed and thanked him stiffly, sitting carefully on the stool beside Akira and staring down at his curry, before throwing the raven a dirty, accusatory look. Too late, Akira remembered the mishap with takoyaki some time ago, and Goro’s dislike for spicy foods. He drew himself up in defence.

“Hey, it wasn’t my idea, we always get curry for breakfast. It’s really good, just try it. And coffee suits it really well.”

“It’s good.” Futaba confirmed carefully, and Goro’s expression softened as he turned his attention to the quiet, orange-haired girl. He hesitated for a moment, before standing up and moving in front of Futaba; bowing down deeply to her, making the girl squeak quietly in surprise.

“…thank you for saving my life, Futaba-san.” he said formally, but in a voice that was somewhat different from the previous one he always used; this one wasn’t trained or professional. If anything, it felt… hesitant, genuine even. The words, too, felt less like the perfectly rehearsed roles he said on TV, and more like he truly needed to find the right ones to say.

“I know, better than anyone, that I do not deserve it; and not from you, of all people. I cannot tell you how much…”

“…oh, shut up.” Futaba finally mumbled, making Goro look up in surprise. She was looking away and curled into a little ball, but her face and voice were determined.

“…I won’t pretend I like you, ‘cause I don’t… but…” she sighed, and looked at him head on with a little smile. “Y’know, I thought it’d be harder. Looking at you, knowing… well. All that. But it’s not hard at all. So… welcome to the Phantom Thieves again, Crow.” she grinned at him, and Akira grinned, too. He was proud of her, more than he could tell. Goro looked from one to the other, and then at smiling Sojiro, and shook his head with a disbelieving look and something that sounded suspiciously like _ridiculous_ leaving his lips before he sat down again and busied himself with his curry.

 

* * *

 

 

In hindsight, Goro had to admit he did not expect the day to go this well.

Ann and Ryuuji were the first to arrive at Leblanc; taking advantage of the rainy day and barely any customers, they got their drinks and shuffled upstairs, where Goro has been sat, feeling like an animal in a cage. But all it took for Ryuuji was to listen in on one of the few choice words Akechi was in the process of yelling at Akira the moment they climbed the stair to slap him over the back and proclaim that at least now he sounded like a real bro, whatever on earth that was supposed to mean. Ann was even stranger. She outright hugged him, mumbling how she was glad he was alive.

_She_ was glad _he_ was alive. Goro couldn’t help but stare at her in disbelief when she said that, and Ann actually smacked both Ryuuji and Akira for laughing at his expression.

Then it only went worse… or better, he supposed, depending on where you stood. Yusuke didn’t seem to find much difference in him being with them or not, as long as it was what Akira thought would work. Makoto was more inquiring, but when she learnt that Akira confiscated Goro’s phone, she seemed to be at ease with him, as well. Haru was… quiet, and the second person Goro felt compelled to apologize to, although the little meaning and little comfort his apology could give made him want to retch. And yet, even she did not voice any complaints of having him back. If anything, she sounded… understanding. Goro could hear her pain still fresh in her voice from losing her father, but, somehow, he didn’t feel like he was as much being blamed as being a painful reminder of what had happened – and this, perhaps, confused him most of all.

The Phantom Thieves came with snacks and noise and people constantly moving back and forth. Morgana and Ann went to his apartment and came back with a bag of his own clothes; why _he_ couldn’t be the one to go, he wasn’t sure. Yusuke and Futaba argued about his Metaverse costumes, and which one was more visually pleasing. Ryuuji kept going on and on about how awesome they would be now, with two Wild Cards, and Haru started to smile and put her opinions here and there, chatting with Makoto about something that seemed to involve their living arrangements. None of them was directing any outright hate towards him; no one protested him joining their group once more. It was… confusing. It felt _wrong_ , even.

By the end of it, Goro felt exhausted, in more ways than one; and almost happy when at the end, there remained only him and Akira, and Morgana, of course. The former detective was sat on the couch, still somewhat in shock, when he saw the raven-haired boy smile at him knowingly.

“…feeling overwhelmed?” he asked with surprising gentleness, and Goro sighed wearily. _Overwhelmed_ didn’t even begin to describe it. How could they be so… so _alright_ with him being there? He didn’t understand, and what he didn’t understand made him frustrated. Case on point – Akira. The raven confused him from day one, and right now he felt like he had been pulled into an utter chaos, and it all revolved around the other Wild Card. What was he doing here, in Akira’s attic, dressed in his clothes, right after whole evening socializing with his friends..? And yet, it felt almost _sweet,_ and warm, with just a hint of pleasant tension that made Goro decide he was way too tired to think straight anymore because there was no way he just thought _that_.

“I still don’t understand you people.” he said wearily, shaking his head. “But I suppose that is beside the point. Is this what you want me to do over the next three weeks…? Other days full of… _this_?” he gestured vaguely around them, where the reminders of the party still lingered. Akira smiled at him with that strange expression in his eyes again, as if Goro said something nice. He scowled at him in return, for good measure.

“Nah. Tomorrow, we gotta help at Leblanc. I said I’ll teach you the ropes, yeah? And I have some things I need to take care of in town, too, and since you’re under my watch and all…”

“You want me to go with you.” Goro finished, drily, before sighing and resigning himself to his fate. Well, whatever. In Leblanc, out of it, it didn’t matter where do they wait for the calling card being sent and their ultimate goal – stealing Shido’s treasure. Goro will play along, for now. He couldn’t think of doing anything else that could have benefitted him anyhow. Squinting, he sighed and reached out, grumbling for Akira to stay still as he untangled a glistening bit of cobweb from the raven’s soft, unruly hair.

“…and you invite your friends into this mess?” he mumbled, trying very hard not to look at the face Akira gave him when he touched his hair. _Focus, Goro_. “Fine. I’ll go where you need to go and help out. It’s just until 18 th, anyway, right?” he murmured, and once again, tried to ignore Akira’s face – which this time, moved to some sort of a worried frown. Without much more talk, Goro stood up and started to tidy up after the makeshift party, Akira slowly moving to follow him.

They didn’t talk much over the rest of the evening; partly because Goro made it clear he didn’t want to, and partly because Akira was busy chatting with Morgana as they cleaned, made the bed and the couch – that last one the best they could. Goro took the shower first, and was already sat on the bed, trying very hard to seem like he was glad to be able to sleep in his own pyjamas. Akira’s clothes – the too-big, white shirt with black stars pattern on it, was perhaps not something Goro would wear out of his own free will, but it was soft and comfy, and smelt pleasantly. It was a deep, spicy smell that lingered on the very edge of Goro’s perception; like electric current under his fingertips, and it was everywhere in this room.

Perhaps it was for the best Goro had his own clothes now, after all.

As he waited on the bed for Akira to get out of the shower, Goro sighed and closed his eyes, letting himself think. The thoughts of his death; his coming back, his dreams and the whole mess he was in right now only made his head hurt, and so, out of nothing better to think about, they returned to Akira. To the way his silvery-grey eyes shone earnestly when they talked last night; to the look they shared, right before his death. And to the spider’s thread guiding him through the void, and cobwebs in Akira’s soft, fluffy hair…

The hair that were wet and sticking to Akira’s forehead as he flopped onto the bed beside him a moment later, burying his head in the pillow. The detective stared at him for a good half a minute before frowning.

“…the hell do you think you’re doing here?”

“Sleeping. It’s my bed.” came a muffled response. Goro closed his eyes, and very slowly counted to ten. _I’m gonna kill this guy one day, and it’s going to be delightful_.

“Fine. I’m moving to the couch.” he sighed, and would have stood up – if not for Akira’s hand tugging on his shirt and making it impossible to move. Goro smacked over his head.

“What the hell, Kurusu? Let me go!”

“Can’t we just both sleep on the bed? The couch’s all uneven, and you’re a guest, I can’t let you sleep there.” he groaned, still with his face in the bed. Goro didn’t even know what to say. What the hell was the raven going on about? He wanted them to sleep, together, on this tiny bed? _As if_.

“Fuck you. I’m moving to the couch, unless you are.” he growled, shoving and poking Akira until the raven rolled off with a groan, and dragged himself to the couch.

And then the groaning continued; when they turned off the lights and laid down on their respective beds, and as Goro tried to fall asleep. Finally, one hour in, he had enough. Akira just _wouldn’t stop_ letting out an assortment of pitiful groans, whines and deep, mournful sighs as he trashed on the couch, making sure it was as noisy as humanely possible. No matter how tired Akechi was, he could not fall asleep like _this_.

“…oh _fuck you_ , get in here already.” he scowled, and the next moment, he could hear Akira skip towards the bed and lay down on the other side of it from him, wrapped in his own blanket. He didn’t need to look to know the other boy was grinning his shit-eating grin the whole time.

Morgana at least made him feel a little bit better as he curled up between the two of them.

“Still, impressive how long you kept him away. When we were fighting who’s gonna sleep on the bed, it took me only five minutes to break.”

Goro closed his eyes and sighed.

“But you’re a cat. It’s not a problem if you two sleep on the same bed, right?”

“I’m not a cat!”

A few more grumbles and indignant meowing followed, before the three of them settled down. It took Goro a while to realize Akira was asleep even as he argued with Morgana; and the fact that the man he tried to kill _days_ ago fell asleep so easily beside him startled him, perhaps the most out of all the strange occurrences that happened today. Was this guy… truly an idiot? Even with Morgana here, Goro could have _easily_ just turned to face him, like right now… all he had to do was reach his hands, wrap them around his throat, and Joker would be no more. It’d be easy; like pulling the trigger.

And yet, Goro didn’t turn, and didn’t wrap his hands around Akira’s throat to strangle him. Instead, he closed his eyes; slowly becoming more and more aware of the warm presence behind his back. He could feel Morgana’s soft fur brushing over his lower back; he could feel Akira’s weight dipping the other side of the bed ever so slightly, hear his soft, regular breaths. Without even meaning to, Goro felt his breathing slow down, matching Akira’s; and before he knew it, he felt himself drifting away into a surprisingly peaceful sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

_The gate fell down, heavy and final; him on one side, his rival; his equal; his friend on the other. The shadows were cackling and growling, and their own voices were muffled, coming through the barrier between them as they exchanged their last words; sealed their promise. Akechi was about to die, and Joker was not ready to let go; a single shout of his name, and then, in the ringing silence…_

_Bang! Bang!_

_“Kurusu…?”_

_Akira shook his head, sinking to his knees, his breathing heavy, eyes wide open. He couldn’t show the rest of the Thieves the agony he felt, but they weren’t there now; there was just blood, darkness, and that voice, the voice that was not supposed to be here…_

“Kurusu..? Kurusu, wake up!”

_A moment of hesitation; and then…_

“…Akira?”

 

* * *

 

 

Goro wasn’t sure which bit woke him up. Feeling Akira thrash on the bed beside him wasn’t especially sleep-inducing, of course, but perhaps the thing that made him open his eyes, sit up and then proceed to grasp the raven’s shoulders and shake him awake was the scream – the scream of his name.

It took a while to get Akira to wake up, but eventually, he did – with a silent, pained yelp, eyes shooting wildly around his surroundings before finally focusing on Goro’s face. This was… a strange look, the detective thought; he had never seen Joker look this desperate, this… _scared_?

What on earth was he dreaming about..? Goro wasn’t a stranger to bad dreams; night terrors never truly left him, especially since he begun to discover the Metaverse. But Akira didn’t seem like one who’d be plagued by them.

No matter what the detective thought, his thoughts came to a halt when the next moment, he has been pulled tightly against Akira, the raven clutching him in his arms and rocking shakily with him.

“Kurusu, what the _fuck_ …”

“You’re here.” Akira breathed, resting his forehead against Goro’s shoulder, and the older boy stilled. Slowly, hesitantly, his own arms moved up, resting awkwardly on Akira’s back.

“…yeah. You forced me to live here until 18th, remember? The great _social experiment_ you’re going on and on about? Hello?”

“You’re alive.”

Goro bit his lip, and he felt Akira tighten his hold on him, ever so slightly. Alright, okay, he knew what was happening here now, at least he thought so. Very good, very detective-like. _Now_ what was he supposed to do?

“…yes. I’m alive.” he said in his best comforting voice, which was… not very good. Slowly, his hands moved up; one resting on Akira’s head, threading through his _soft, soft_ hair, and the other rubbing gentle circles between his shoulder blades. Slowly, painfully slowly, Akira seemed to unwind in his arms; slowly, he begun to let go.

“…ship?” Goro asked curtly, once the raven leaned away entirely; for once it was Akira looking embarrassed, and not him. After a while, he received a soft nod in reply. There was no need for any more explanation after that, and yet… Well. Goro was curious.

“…it sounded like, erm. A bad dream.” he said, somewhat awkwardly. Akira pursed his lips before looking up at him.

“It was.”

“…but it was about me.”

“Yes.”

“Dying.”

“ _Yes_ , can you drop the issue now?”

Goro looked away, suddenly glad there was darkness all around them. Slowly, they laid back down, shifting awkwardly on the bed. He closed his eyes, before…

“…uh.”

…he opened them again.

“Yeah?” he mumbled, voice already sleepy. Akira reached out his hand and was tugging on his shirt again.

“…can you turn to face me..?” he mumbled, and for the smallest moment, Goro was tempted to tell him no, or make him ask for it; but now was not the time. He knew what night terrors could do to you; and the thought that Akira Kurusu’s nightmare would involve him dying was… something he did not want to dwell on right now.

“Like this?” he murmured, turning around. Akira was there; it startled him how close he was, without Morgana between them.

“…yeah. Thanks. Goodnight.” the younger boy mumbled, and closed his eyes. Goro, for the second time this night, wondered at how much trust Akira had in him already; and once again drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again to everyone who liked and commented this fic, and of course to Nate who is the best beta I could ever ask for. 
> 
> The next chapter will be published on May 31st!
> 
> What's more, on the occasion of Goro's birthday, I will be starting to post another fanfiction on June 2nd! If you like The Spider's Thread I'm quite sure you might enjoy that one as well, so stay tuned.


	4. Thread of Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The great social experiment finally starts to take off and Goro is out to make some new friends.
> 
> The Phantom Thieves make plans concerning Shido's Palace and Akira tries to prod into Goro's plans for the future, with mixed results.

Akechi was doing surprisingly well at Leblanc.

The next morning, neither of them spoke of what transpired during the night. Goro seemed to be much more preoccupied with finding an ironing board – _what do you mean you don’t know where you have one, how have you been going to school up until now?!_ – and even more preoccupied with finding a hair-straightener – _what, even if it’s not rainy season now, I still need to straighten them to look less like yours_ – to bother mentioning Akira’s nightmare. The raven himself was very much happy with that state of affairs, and so he tried to keep his teasing to a minimum, even if he couldn’t help but comment on what a good housewife Akechi would make, watching the boy iron his dress shirt, tie and pants and dress in his usual attire, with a little sigh of _much better_ leaving his lips. Akira had to say, he did look good all neat and tidy like this; he ignored the part of his brain that commented that Akechi looked even better barefoot and all messy and in _his_ clothes.

Once they were done with their breakfast and put their aprons on, Akira got down to teaching Goro the ropes – not that he needed to teach him a lot, it turned out. Alright, the guy couldn’t prepare Leblanc’s home blend on his first try, sure, but he was a natural when it came to customer service; with this much charm, Sojiro was surprised to see even his regulars being gently manipulated into purchasing the most expensive items on the menu, and in the other half of the day, they already had more customers than usually. Word in Yongen spread fast, and as much as Akira felt a tiny bit annoyed, the victorious smirk Akechi showed him at the influx of customers – and income – after having him just for one day actually made the raven-haired boy smile softly.

“Good job. You’re better at this schtick then I am.” he hummed later during the evening, when most of the customers already left and Goro busied himself washing the dishes. The sudden sound of a plate slipping from the other boy’s soapy hands and the tips of his ears turning red as he grumbled a grudging response made Akira make a mental note to himself to praise Akechi more often. And then, because he was a little shit…

“…your coffee still sucks, though.”

The next few days were spent in similar fashion. Goro seemed determined on learning how to make coffee Leblanc way – so much so that even Sojiro told him to relax after a while. He was getting better at cooking, too; and his customer service was impeccable.

When they weren’t helping out at Leblanc, Akira took Akechi out. They went to Untouchables together, with a bag of _weird shit_ Akira gathered in Shido’s Palace, and the raven had great fun watching as Goro was slowly boiling over with every comment Iwai made at what such a prim and proper guy was doing in a shop like that, until the detective nonchalantly picked up a gun, cocked it and aimed with ease before setting it gently down and commenting on how the feel was almost that of a real one, safe for several minor details he eagerly listed. Iwai’s face afterwards was a sight to behold, and by the end of the visit, Akira had to _drag_ the detective away, as they started discussing different models with fervour of two enthusiasts finally able to talk with someone on the same wavelength.

 They visited Takemi the next day; she insisted on giving Goro another check-up, on the house, and threw in an apple or two, entertaining the older boy with memories of Akira’s past clinical trials and talking at length – in Akira’s opinion, completely unnecessarily – about what a wonderful subject he made, being so bland and of average physique. Hifumi agreed to have a shogi match with each of them in turn, and Akira noticed that at some point, Akechi stopped chuckling at his mistakes and started giving him whispered advice, voice raised and almost excited as he watched them play before having a go himself, talking at length what an interesting visualization technique Hifumi applied in her gameplay. At Chihaya’s, Goro listened intently to her as she read Akira’s fortune – apparently the raven’s cards kept coming up with Justice arcana – but when she offered to do the same for him, he protested decisively. When they walked away, Akira was surprised to hear the older boy explain he didn’t enjoy the thought of what a fortune teller with actual powers could say to a person who literally just came back from the dead.

Getting Akechi to walk into Crossroads bar was not as easy a task, but not as much as getting him to stop staring in disbelief once they actually did get inside and Akira was welcomed by both Ohya and Lala-chan like the regular he was there. Between hisses of _you’re a minor, what were you thinking coming here with your probation at stake_ and Goro’s actual terror at Lala-chan’s jokes about him being born crossdresser, they worked a shift at the bar together. This was the one evening out when things went sour, though; Ohya started talking about Kayo, and the next moment, Akechi went pale and asked Akira to leave. He wouldn’t speak to the younger boy for the rest of the night, and when they did finally fall asleep, Akira woke up hours later to find Goro not trashing or screaming this time, but tense and pale on the bed, mumbling in his sleep. It was the first night they slept touching – or tried to, because once he woke Goro up and held his hand and breathed with him there was no more sleep for the two of them, no matter how much the pretended to sleep.

As if to apologize for the mishap, the next evening Akira took Akechi over to Gigolo Arcade, and they had an extremely heated games tournament, with Shinya cheering and swearing at them in turns whenever they made some rookie mistake. That, too, ended up amusing when, after initial introduction, Goro realized that Akira once spent his time taking an elementary school kid out to eat and buy him things and hang out, and _yeah that is not totally creepy at all Akira, what the hell?,_ to which the raven started arguing back how he didn’t need to put it _this_ way, and that everything sounds creepy when Akechi makes it sound so. It ended out with the three of them running off for something to eat, as – with the two of them calling each other creeps in the middle of the arcade – they couldn’t stay there much longer.

It continued like this, day after day. When Phantom Thieves were not visiting them and they weren’t helping in Leblanc, Akira would take Akechi to make the same connections he once made; to see the world through eyes different than his own. One after the other, they visited more or less every one of Akira’s friends he could risk meeting at the time; and slowly, from an unwilling participant, Goro seemed to turn into an interested party.

Yes, Akechi changed during these two weeks. He was careful; the shell he wore thick and sharp on the edges, and yet Akira could see him slowly, tirelessly trying to worm his way out of it – and the raven helped, however he could, meeting him half-way. It wasn’t all, though. With every day, every morning he was welcomed by Goro’s wine-red eyes, every evening he fell asleep with the warm presence on the other side of his bed, Akira found himself unable to keep his thoughts away from the other boy. Every night, it took him longer to fall asleep, more and more aware of the warm presence just centimetres away from him. Every time Goro opened himself even a tiny bit more to him, Akira felt his heart give a little lurch.

The more time they spent together, everything about Akechi seemed to only pull him in more. Little things; silly things, like Goro’s hair curling on the ends, like his thick, long eyelashes shadowing his cheeks as he slept beside him. Like the way he’d scrunch his nose slightly when focusing on making coffee, and how the corners of his mouth would twitch upwards when he was trying to stop a smile at Akira’s antics. Goro was no longer a friend he wanted to save – perhaps he was never just that. Akira wished to be more than this with him…

He talked about it, both with Morgana and Sojiro, whenever Akechi was well out of earshot. They both looked at him with the kind of expressions that told him they knew of his crush even before he himself knew. Morgana tried to convince him Goro returned the attraction, and Sojiro just waved his hand, but Akira was not convinced. Besides, right now, there was no time for _that_. They could deal with their attractions of whatnot when they were done with Shido. This was what mattered right now.

It was during one of the rare evenings they spent in Akira’s attic – he ended up cleaning the damn room again since Akechi would not shut up about it, and yet the older boy could still somehow find cobwebs in his hair – with just each other and Morgana. Normally, these would be times Akira allowed Goro some time to himself, letting the other boy read or just nap, but today felt different.

“…so.” Akira said quietly, pulling Goro’s attention to himself, prompting the older boy to leave the magazine he was reading and sit up on the bed, looking at him curiously. Morgana looked up from his place beside Goro, curious, but not enough to really move his ass from the comfortable position.

“We’re going to send the calling card any time now.”

Akechi nodded slowly.

“Yes, I suspected as much. We have less than a week left until the deadline.”

“You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” the former detective shrugged, pushing a loose strand of hair behind his ear. It was a little habit Goro had Akira noticed some time ago, and he found himself enraptured by the gesture. Then again, when was he _not_ enraptured by the other? Goro’s hair were just slightly curly at the ends now, once he finally gave up his quest to find a hair straightener at Leblanc and left them be, and Akira could not understand why would he ever try to straighten them in the first place.

“Kurusu, you’re staring at me. Again.”   

_Oh. Right_.

“Well, okay, so… we’ll be sending that card real soon. Whether Shido’s heart changes successfully or not… in less than a week, our deal ends. What’re you gonna do then?”

Akira said all that, trying to sound casual, but his nervousness was clear in how he fiddled with his phone, twirling it easily in his fingers. Akechi was silent for a while, before he reached for a hairband resting on the nightstand and gathered his hair in that _damn_ messy ponytail. He leaned back once he was finished, looking up at Akira hesitantly.

“That… will depend, I suppose. On how well our infiltration goes, on how much Shido confesses, on the situation that will place me in. I have thought to cross that bridge once we get to it. Right now, there are too many unknown variables for me to make plans.”

_You liar. You’ve been thinking about it for days now, I can tell. You have every single outcome planned out already, knowing you_.

Still, Akira didn’t push, and to his surprise, without as much as a nudge, Goro smiled lightly and continued to talk.

“I have to say, though… perhaps this experience was not a complete waste of time. I have never paid much attention to the people that always seemed to surround you; only after we went to meet them I realized you have been strengthening yourself through your connections with them. The ability to strategize, procuring your weapons and medicine, moral support, your skills with guns, keeping the luck and the public on your side… it’s all things you have decided to outsource, even outside of your team. That’s… quite fascinating. I can see how you became this strong this quickly. I never thought about it this way. Ever since I can remember, making connections with others only resulted in vulnerability.”

“You’re surprisingly talkative.” Akira commented, though he was smiling. Akechi raised a brow at him. The days in which he’d get angry and yell obscenities passed already, even if Akira’s clowning did make him make the _I am not amused_ face more often than not. Akira didn’t complain. He enjoyed annoying the crap out of him, after all… and perhaps the moments in which the cold glare was exchanged for that soft half-smile were worth all the glares in the world.

“I’m usually talkative about things of interest to me. Hence why I was keeping mostly quiet when talking to _you_.”

Akira let out an overly offended gasp at that, before grinning and sitting beside Akechi, nudging his shoulder which met with another non-amused stare.

“C’mon, you’ve been positively obsessed with me since that TV station. You can’t convince me we kept running into one another just because we both happen to live in Tokyo. You _do_ find me interesting.”

Just as Akira had expected, the word _obsessed_ had a striking effect on the former detective, and prompted Akechi to try to present all the arguments against him being obsessed, it being just work, it being his research and so on and so forth. All the while, Akira was leaning more and more against him, until finally he got pushed off the bed by the seething detective.

“Will you stop that?! I was _not_ obsessed.”

Akira grinned at him from the floor, content to stay where Goro threw him at.

“But you did find me interesting. Admit it. You still do.”

“You’re going to be insufferable until I say it, aren’t you?”

“Wonderful deduction, detective.”

Goro rolled his eyes before falling back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“…very well. You’re not painfully boring, I’ll admit.”

“Aww, the prince detective has a crush on me!” Akira grinned, dodging the kick that would’ve landed right in his side. He was still laughing as he stood up, pulling Goro gently up with himself, wondering why would a guy with hands this nice be pretty damn obsessed with hiding them in gloves.

“C’mon. We gotta call everyone to Leblanc, and agree on the calling card. I heard some plans Futaba was making… this might require a quick trip to the Metaverse.”

 

* * *

 

 

It truly was amazing, what an inclusive group of people Phantom Thieves were.

Two weeks ago, when they pulled him out of the Palace and worried about his well-being, Akechi could at least try and explain it by some weird feeling of responsibility on their part – but then they came visit him again, and again; and all of them, every single one, slowly seemed to truly accept him.

Futaba and Morgana were possibly whom he had the best contact with. The amnesiac _not a cat_ seemed to enjoy Goro’s quiet presence, especially since the boy never minded listening to Morgana’s little monologues all the while petting him gently and sharing what knowledge he had of the Metaverse in hopes of it somehow helping the creature get a hint about how to take back his human body, if he had one.

As for Futaba, the orange-haired girl quickly warmed up to Akechi and his quick mind, and sometimes, they’d sit together by the counter in Leblanc in the mornings, when Akira was still asleep and customers were still only trickling in, and talked. Despite being apprehensive at first, Goro found out that anime and video games were not a _total_ waste of time; and Futaba seemed to be glad to have someone who easily followed her rapid trains of thought, and who wasn’t bored by her lengthy explanations of things – _so many things_ – Akechi simply did not understand.

Ann was a warmer presence, and sweeter one. She seemed to make it her personal mission to make him feel welcome there. Ryuuji baffled him, still, with his vulgar comments and complete lack of boundaries and tact – and at the same time, by his unwavering loyalty and optimism. Makoto was easy to talk to, after the several meetings let her initial coldness melt, and Haru was quiet, but whenever talking with her, Goro found himself amazed at her simple understanding of things, at her honesty and straightforwardness. And Yusuke, well. Goro has been asked if he wouldn’t mind posing to the artist sometimes, and has been laughed at by the whole group when he agreed, so he supposed he earned that acceptance, too.

And then, there was Akira; full of himself, mocking, insufferable Akira who somehow from captor and rival turned into the one he would call his friend first. The raven told him he wanted to save him – and despite his apprehension at first, Goro saw him do just that, every day, without even meaning to, without even trying. The quips and jokes, the little, mocking grins; and then the praise, the soft, knowing smiles whenever Goro did something well, whenever he discovered something new about himself. Akira was never far and for once, it didn’t feel like he only wanted to keep an eye on him or use him somehow, but as if he actually did want to try and be his friend.

And with every day of this, Goro’s mind whispered that Akira was thoroughly failing in his task. This was more than friendship, in everything but name. It has been for a long time. Akechi wasn’t stupid, after all. He could lie to himself all he wanted; tell himself his interest in Akira was simply due to professional reasons; that he only wanted to befriend him at first because he was the leader of the Phantom Thieves. And yet, when they first met, neither of them knew who the other truly was. Akira was an anomaly; a free, honest boy who was everything that Goro wasn’t, and yet was so similar to him. The thread connecting them grew stronger and stronger, no matter how much Goro tried to force himself to believe it was a thread of hatred and envy. And now, spending almost all his time with Akira, sleeping in the same bed with him, feeling his whole being tense up in the sweetest ways imaginable at the softest touch of their hands…

_Perhaps love and hate are not so different after all. Perhaps you can mistake one for the other, even though your heart knows the truth, deep down…_

It was _so easy_ , too, all of it. Akechi didn’t even need to pretend to be someone else to connect with them all. They knew him already; knew all the ugliness and all the rage the teenager was trying to hide his whole life, and because of it, for the first time in his life, he didn’t feel compelled to cover up any of it.

And now, here they were, sitting with him, drinking with him, talking about their plans freely and asking his opinion, as if he was one of them. Perhaps… perhaps he was, in however little degree. The thought itself made a ghost of smile appear on Goro’s lips. This was only until next week, he had to remind himself; but even so, he was happy for it.

“Stealing the treasure is the least of our problems here, as strange as it sounds.” he said, breaking off Ryuuji’s long-winded argument about nothing in particular. They had already agreed on the calling card, and how they will present it to Shido; now all they needed to do was to ascertain their strategy for the Palace.

“We’re dealing with a guy who’s well aware of the existence of the cognitive world. He knows our methods and our tricks; you could see what defences he managed to erect in his own mind. In my opinion, as much as we should make sure we’re in top form while we fight him – because we will, there is no doubt – we need a good escape plan even more.”

“Escape plan?” Morgana asked, jumping onto the table and tilting his head at him. “We know the Palace is gonna collapse when we take the treasure; other than an escape plan from that, what do you have in mind?”

“Shido knows – from me, incidentally – what happens to a Palace when the owner changes, and when they have a… when they have a mental shutdown.” Goro tightened his lips, but continued. “He’s a vengeful person. He’d plan for the eventuality of us succeeding, and when he sees the calling card, this will be obvious to him. Now, what could he do to hurt us _after_ we steal his treasure, but before the Palace collapses? He’ll try to catch us off guard. My money is on him trying to somehow get the Palace to shatter, trapping us inside, right after he notices all is lost.”

Morgana hummed, while Ryuuji hooted quietly at the problem. Now, that was something they’ll end up having troubles with, huh…

“I can attest to the fact he will most certainly not kill himself. He likes life too much for that. But if he were to, say, knock himself unconscious, or force coma onto himself, we’d be trapped; hence the need of clear escape route.”

The meeting went on for a long time afterwards; with them going through plans, strategies, and good few cups of coffee each, which both Akira and Akechi were proud to provide. Finally, they agreed to send the calling card the next evening, on the presumption they will infiltrate the Palace right after. Goro had to say he was both excited and glad they had one last day to prepare as he climbed up the stairs with Morgana already asleep in his arms.

“…you sounded like true leader.” came a soft voice from behind him, and Goro turned, his wine-red eyes meeting Akira’s silvery-grey. No matter how many times they looked at each other like this, eye to eye, Goro couldn’t understand the complex art of Akira’s eyes; especially if, like right now, they weren’t hidden behind the fake glasses.

Goro’s stomach gave a strange lurch when Akira started to climb the few steps left between them, nearing him, their eyes still locked.

“…I’m not leader. You are.”

“Can’t there be two?”

Akechi smiled lightly; it was only a twitch of his lips, but he knew Akira noticed. He liked these half-smiles of his, liked trying to get the detective to make them. One more facet of Akira Kurusu’s character that Goro found completely incomprehensible, and that Morgana tried to convince him was a sign of Akira’s attraction to him whenever he confided in the cat.

“You flatter me, but multiple leaders defeat the purpose of having a leader in the first place.”

“Ah, but you’d make such a good one. If I were to go down tomorrow, I’d be glad to know the Phantom Thieves were left in good hands.”

Akira gave him that crooked smile again, and Goro remembered why he absolutely _hated_ that particular smile. It was the one that made him feel a shudder run down his spine and cause goose bumps to appear all over his arms, and not because of the cryptic message beneath the raven’s light words. Goro turned away, closing his eyes.

“…why are you saying this, now, of all times? You’re not dying tomorrow.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Oh, but I can.”

There was a pinch of the old anger in Goro’s voice now; he knew it, and he didn’t care. Just weeks ago, he smiled as he thought he killed the boy standing behind him, but now… now, the thought of Akira dying was unbearable.

_It was unbearable even before, wasn’t it? So you decided to distance yourself from it, to give Loki the reins._

“…why are we talking about this?” he said quietly, and for now, Akira relented.

“No reason. I’m just happy. You’re really part of the team now, right? You could feel that, too.”

“The same team that I only agreed to be a part of until next week, you mean?”

“Oh, come on, don’t be an ass.” Akira groaned, and just like that, the tension between them slowly dissipated, as it had countless times before. Akechi went ahead and gently put Morgana on the couch, even going as far as to wrap a thin blanket over the cat, as he knew he liked to be warm.

“You’ll always be one of us now. Even if you decided to leave… which I hope you won’t.”

“You’re making things up again, Kurusu.”

“I wouldn’t need to do that if you just told me what your plans are after 18th.”

Ah. That question again. Goro sat down on the bed, letting his eyes close briefly. The excitement was still there, he could feel it; but so was dread. Yes, what was he going to do once this little dreamscape is over?

Akechi did think of it; quite thoroughly, too. He understood that should they turn Shido’s heart, he will feel compelled to present the murders as his own crimes, not Goro’s. Still, as Shido’s empire falls, they will eventually find him, sooner or later. He will not be left alone. And then… what? Goro had thousand and one ideas, and none of them felt right; and most of all, what haunted him whenever he thought of the future were the gentle words he heard two weeks ago, deep within his dreams.

_When the end comes, and your friends need to stand between the world and the ruin, you need to be there to help them._

It was easy to disregard these words at first; easy to disregard the idea of having _friends_. And yet now, he supposed he had them, and more than that, as strange and downright ridiculous it felt to think of the group as such. Goro was not stupid, though. The _end_ and _ruin_ could not possibly mean just Shido. There was something else coming; something worse.

And he had no idea how to help.

“…I talked to Boss for now.” he said, to buy some time. Akira didn’t need to know his worries, _shouldn’t_ know. He’d feel compelled to share them, Goro knew him this much. “He’s alright with me staying here even after the heist. And then…”

“… _we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it_ … huh.” Akira smiled mockingly, and Goro felt he was torn between the urge to pull the man in front of him into a kiss and wipe the smirk off his face, or do the same thing, but by throwing a pillow at him. The detective cursed inwardly and shook his head. _What are you doing?_ They had a mission to accomplish tomorrow, perhaps the worst and most dangerous one so far. This was no place nor time for… for _this_.

“Shut up. Anyhow, we should get some sleep… get ready for tomorrow.” Goro stood up and stretched, ready to busy himself, to finish their little heart to heart. He was gathering his pyjamas and getting ready for a shower when he felt warmth behind him. Akira’s hand on his shoulder startled him, but he tried not to show it as he straightened up and turned to face him.

“Look, tomorrow we can all end up dead for all we know. Not just me, all of us. So… Just call me Akira already.” the raven said quietly, and Goro’s breath caught in his throat. It took him a moment to reply.

“Only if you return the favour, then.”

The smile Akira showed him then felt almost relived, and Goro felt his own tension ebb away. Perhaps Morgana was right, and they were both just oblivious idiots. Most likely he was right.

As they got ready for bed, Akechi found himself wishing – for the first time in his life, perhaps – that he could come back alive from tomorrow’s mission, and that he could start thinking of what will come afterwards. How curious, really. He had never before dared to think of any _future_ after Shido has been defeated.

Once again, there was tension between them when they finally laid down that night, back to back. Not the bad kind of tension, either; one that made Goro hyper-aware of every move and breath Akira made, of the warmth of the raven’s body behind his own, of the scent of the shower gel and shampoo they shared. Closing his eyes, Goro tried to relax. They really needed to get some sleep.

“…goodnight, Akira.” he said quietly, and he could have sworn he heard a little, sharp intake of breath from behind himself; and then, hands, gentle hands that felt hot on his body as they pulled him gently closer, his back against Akira’s chest. Goro tensed up at first. He never received much human contact; not from his mother, not from his caretakers and not from his non-existent friends. The Phantom Thieves, though, as a group, were very _physical_ in their affections, and of course, Akira seemed to enjoy them making contact from time to time. That much was already something he took a while to get used to, but _this_ … being held, in bed, by someone else, someone he _cared for_ , at that…

“…no?” Akira’s voice was hesitant, and he started to loosen his hold. Goro relaxed by that time, though, even if he was truly glad he was at least facing the opposite way. It didn’t feel bad, no… quite the opposite…

Goro shook his head gently, and covered Akira’s hand that rested on his chest with his own. He settled close willingly, only hoping the raven couldn’t feel the rapid pace at which his heart was beating right now. Like hell he was going to be able to fall asleep now.

“No… it’s fine.” he whispered, and felt Akira relax behind him.

“Goodnight, Goro. Sweet dreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thank you very much to everyone commenting on this fic and to the best beta I could ever ask for, Nate.
> 
> The next chapter will be published on June 7th - and it's going to be an interesting one.
> 
> On June 2nd, Goro's birthday, I will start publishing another shuake fanfiction, titled New Game +, so stay tuned! This one will also have weekly updates ^^


	5. Fool's Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves charge into Shido's Palace - and something unexpected ends up happening when two Wild Cards fight together against a deadly foe.

Watching his silhouette, princely get-up and all, being broadcasted in the fabulous calling card Futaba put up on every damn screen she could reach with her impressive hacking skills had to be one of the best experiences Goro ever had. The fact that it was a calling card directly threatening Shido made it all the better; as was the fact that Akira subtly arranged the scene so that he stood among them, not on the side. He knew Joker was behind it; it wasn’t hard to piece that up.

And yet, there was no time for grins and thanks and enjoyment. The broadcast hardly had time to end when they were all standing up; grabbing the things they’d need, making last-second preparations. Akechi stood quiet and watchful, every bit of his being tense and ready to fight. This was it. This was their big moment.

Despite his excitement, he felt dread. No matter what talks him and Akira shared during the quiet evenings on Leblanc’s attic, they never wandered onto the topic of Shido, or Goro’s past – something that made the detective sure Akira had some knowledge about it already. These were topics Akechi himself didn’t enjoy dwelling on, and yet now, he could not escape them. They were about to battle the man who – as crappy as he was – was his father, the very man he served, killed for, even. No matter how much Goro tried to pretend he was not fazed by this anymore, not with how much had changed, with how much he finally _allowed_ to change, he could feel cold dread grasp his heart.

Not only because he knew shadow Shido would try to hurt him, separate him from the group he somehow managed to find his place in. Goro dreaded seeing his father’s true form, true thoughts and feelings he had of him. He dreaded to be reminded how useless and disappointing he really was; and just how replaceable, too.

Did he manage to keep it cool on the outside? Phantom Thieves did not seem to notice anything, at least he hoped they did not. Crow could feel Joker’s eyes on himself as they melted into the Metaverse, but he did not return the look. They needed to focus now.

The Palace felt different this time; he supposed it always did on second run, when it was the treasure you were after. They were silent; Joker led the way, and Crow found himself following him without a moment’s hesitation. It was so much different from the Casino, or the few missions in the Mementos… back then, he second-guessed every single one of Joker’s movements, thought to himself countless times how much easier it would have been if he was alone. Was this how trusting in his leader felt..? Or was it a different kind of trust, one that made him willing to follow not a leader… but a friend?

Crow could feel the other Thieves’ eyes on himself as they run through the ship together. He wasn’t surprised. After having him declawed and defanged for so long, they were with him in the Metaverse again; but whatever thoughts Crow could have once had of hurting any of them were long gone. He did not begrudge their suspicions, either. They were all on edge, and no matter how welcoming and trusting they all proven to be, he was still a murderer; one whose ill deeds touched those around him dearly.

_You really are undeserving of them, aren’t you? You shouldn’t have come. They could do it without you, and more easily for it, without having to watch their backs in case you decide to stab them from behind…_

Crow closed his eyes and took a few, steadying breaths before resuming on his silent run. Calm down. This wasn’t the time to doubt himself. He needed his focus now, all he could get.

Just as Crow had foreseen, Shido was waiting for them already. As expected, the Shadow would not leave his treasure unguarded for them to steal it; they will need to battle him for it, and win.

It was… hard. Watching the man’s – his _father’s –_ shadow look at their group with such disgust; and at Crow, most of everyone. Just as he dreaded, he saw failure in these shining, yellow eyes, saw how _weak,_ how petty he truly was. Even with the Phantom Thieves, even within their group, he was not a part of them after all. He didn’t share their conviction, their loyalty; all it took was a look, and few choice words, and Shido had managed to remind him what he truly was – a child, wishing for the attention, ready to kill for it. A mindless puppet. All of a sudden, Crow’s princely costume felt itchy and unfitting his body; he wanted to hide, to run, to stop these golden eyes from looking at him, from making him confront this image of himself. Crow froze to the ground, unable to speak or walk any closer.

He was the only one Shido managed to intimidate, though. All around him, the Phantom Thieves formed their ranks. Only now did Crow realize they moved with unspoken strategy; placing him in the very middle, right behind Joker. He looked around at them, speechless, and the reassuring smiles and grins almost overwhelmed him. Biting his lip, Crow stood up straighter, finding it wasn’t so hard to move after all. He got this. _They got this_. He wasn’t alone anymore.

 _They are protecting me… even now… even after everything_ …

Shido’s voice was low and drawling, filled with disgust at first, then with cunning. Akechi foresaw also this; the venom that flew from the man’s lips, the hurtful words aimed at breaking them, making them defeat themselves before they’d even start attacking _him_. And yet, the Phantom Thieves were not wavering. It was Fox who let his patience run out first, and Crow shuddered, hearing his name come from the other’s lips.

“What did you do to Akechi..? He was your own son!”

 _Was_ …? Yes, he supposed that was right. Crow looked up at the sneering shadow before them. The words he had said; vile, cutting, poisonous; he hardly heard them anymore, paid them no mind. It felt… strange, he supposed. Before, all Shido needed was to start speaking for Crow to listen intently, to carve every last word in his heart, eager to please. Now, it almost felt like he was hearing a buzzing of the fly, even as Shido was explaining all of Crow’s vile acts to the rest of the Thieves, even as he made him face all that he had done once again.

_I know what I did. I know I need to atone. But what he says… that is of no consequence now._

No, it was not; and soon, the only voices Crow heard clearly were these of his teammates, protecting him, excusing him. He was one of them; he understood this now. He didn’t need to look for acknowledgment in his father; there was none there to be had. He already had what counted… what he had always lacked…

“What an _ace_ detective…” came a sneering remark, and Crow decided he had just about enough of listening to that useless little speech.

“Yes.” he heard himself say, and felt the Phantom Thieves’ eyes on him; _Joker_ ’s eyes. And yet, he felt no fear, no pain, not even anger or frustration. He looked up at Shido, and for the first time in his life…

…he felt _free_.

“It’s true I was a fool, not to see through your plans; I was a fool to ever offer myself to you, to let myself not see that what I was doing was wrong, selfish and useless at that. I was a blind, hopeless fool… but you know what, _father_?” Crow felt himself grin as he saw these yellow eyes fill with rage as they stared at him.

“Fool or not… I know one thing. I can fight for my own justice now! I can bring you down!”

 _Oh god, Akira was rubbing off on him, wasn’t he_.

Well, Joker definitely looked smug when he looked back at him; but then, the true battle started, and they had no time for little glances and knowing looks anymore.

 

* * *

 

It was after they were done with the beast, the wings and the tomb that it happened.

What at first seemed like demanding, but more or less straightforward fight ended up being terrifyingly exhausting, to all of them. Joker lost count of how many wounds he had taken and had healed, he lost count of how many attacks he dodged and landed himself; the enemies just seemed to keep coming, or rather shifting, from one to the other, until he could see Shido again; warped and terrifying, and aiming at him…

The movement to his right was all he could see before the red cape fluttered before his eyes. Crow jumped in front of him at the very last moment, his lightsabre shaking as he defended the deadly blow with all his strength; the force throwing him and Joker to the floor. And yet, even as Joker could only feel slight discomfort from falling, Crow…

“ _I said it before… you are weak…_ ” came the distorted cackle of a shadow, and Crow writhed, coughing blood onto Joker’s black vest. Mona was with him the next moment, healing what he could, but even as Joker stood up, Crow remained on the floor, breathing heavily, at the very end of his capabilities. He has taken more damage than any of them, Joker realized. Shido was focusing his attacks on _him_ , and no matter how devilishly skilled and powerful Crow was, he was starting to run out of strength. They needed to end this, and quickly, or else…

“He’s _not_ weak!” he felt himself yell, Crow’s red mask askew as he looked up at him sharply. Joker met his eyes, blood pounding in his ears. He could feel something; a connection, almost like a thread linking the two; he could feel it pulsate, tug him close. The raven reached his hand out, and there was no hesitation when Crow took it; their hands clasping on each other’s forearms as Joker pulled him up.

“…we finish the bastard together?” Joker asked quietly, and he could’ve sworn one of the little half-smiles made its way onto Crow’s face. Calm down, he heard his mind whisper. It’ll be alright. You can do this, all of you. You’ll pull this off.

“Together.”

“Oi… guys… what the shit is _that_.”

Skull – and the rest of the team, really – had all the right to be alarmed. Even Shido’s shadow took a step back from them, and Joker wouldn’t have minded running the hell away, too, as he watched with wide eyes as their linked arms suddenly burst into flames – flames giving out no heat nor burn, red and blue at the edges, mixing and twisting around one another before coming into deep, dark purple at the core. He looked up; Crow was watching the flames with just as much surprise and confusion, eyes just as wide. Their friends were screaming from the sides; Shido’s attack fell and shattered the moment he reached them, and the next second, they looked up as the purple flames shot up, revealing Arsene and Loki hanging over them, their poses mimicking these of their masters’. They saw their Personas laugh; their laughter joining in perfect dissonance as the two melded and shifted and tangled, and then melted into one; of shape and name neither of them knew, and yet both of them found familiar.

This was like no feeling in the world he experienced so far. The flame linked them even as they both let go, and through it, it felt as if they were still joined into one, more deeply and intimately than any human being could ever be with another. Joker could no longer focus on Crow’s face; the one shifting into focus was his own, and he realized he was looking at himself through the other’s eyes; feeling with his skin, hearing with his ears. He felt Crow’s confusion and at the same time, his conviction and their bond, unbreakable amid the sounds of shattering chains. One of them spoke, and he had no idea whether it was him or the other; their melded souls made the distinction impossible.

_Do you trust me, Akira?_

The voice was only in his – in their – mind, he knew, but Joker felt them smile as they watched Shido’s shadow backing away, a look of shock on the monstrosity’s face, their team slowly falling back with them. Amid the purple inferno, the two of them stood together, and that was all that mattered.

_With my life._

* * *

 

“Why do you have to always be fucking _right_ , Goro?”

Akira wheezed, clutching his stomach and trying to shakily gather himself up after the mad escape they somehow managed to pull off when somehow getting the hell away from the crumbling Palace. Akechi himself didn’t look much better, slumped on the pavement and trying to take a full breath with Morgana meowing and whining on his chest, while the rest of the Thieves sat, stood or laid in various stages of exhaustion all around them.

“For real, man…” Ryuuji groaned, nudging Akechi with his foot which earned him a silent string of curses from the detective, and a smack over the head from Ann. Ryuuji didn’t look particularly bothered by neither.

“First you two pull some super Saiyan shit on us without as much as an explanation, then the freakin Palace collapses… just chill with the power of friendship there for a moment, m’kay?”

“You’re saying this as if we didn’t just pretty much one-shot Shido’s ass with that Persona.” Akira groaned, trying to sit up – and then deciding he was alright lying in that alleyway a bit longer, with how much everything in his body hurt right now, including his brain.

“Guys, uh, super powers aside, important matters here. Do we have the Treasure? Please someone tell me we have the Treasure.”

“I got it.” Goro wheezed, his glove shooting up, Shido’s legislative pin shining between his fingers. For something so small and sparkly, it truly cost a lot of trouble to get…

It took them a long moment to eventually gather themselves up and manage to all get themselves to Leblanc. Sojiro was waiting for them, cigarette between his lips and worried look on face, but the moment he made sure everyone was alright – save for some bruises and overall exhaustion – these kind eyes lit up. He watched the Phantom Thieves flop down onto the seats all over his café with a smile on his face, and immediately started to prepare cocoa for all of them.

Akechi flopped onto the seat opposite from Akira, half-lying on the table. The older boy looked… _bad_ , but before he could ask whether he was okay…

“W-we did it…” Futaba mumbled from her position; she was leaning against Akechi’s side, completely exhausted, and yet as she spoke, tears started to shine behind her glasses.

“I was able to avenge my mum… thanks to you guys…” she whispered, voice breaking. Another sniffle came, from beside Akira this time; it was Haru.

“I, also… I was able to settle a debt in regards to my father, as well…” she whispered, eyes shining with tears, before she shook her head. “And, Akechi-kun, you…”

Akira’s eyes turned to Goro again, and he was shocked, seeing the detective’s shoulders shake as small, little drops fell soundlessly down onto the table. Joker pulled Haru close to himself with one arm, reaching through the table to rest his other hand on Akechi’s shoulder, biting his lip as the surge of electricity reminiscent of their previous bond went through them. Akechi looked up, their eyes locking as tears run freely down his cheeks. Soon, all of the Phantom Thieves were all over them. They didn’t need an explanation. They all understood.

It took a while, for the trio to dry their tears of relief, for all of them to get their cocoa and be able to catch the much-needed breath. It was Morgana who broke the comfortable, warm silence then.

“…seriously, though… what even _was_ that power?” the voice came from somewhere around Haru’s lap, and sure enough, the cat’s paws and head soon appeared over the table, looking tiredly between the Phantom Thieves. “I never saw anything like it…”

“I never experienced something quite like this before, either.” Goro murmured, his voice soft and still somewhat choked from the moment of weakness before. “It was… confusing, to say the least. I don’t know how to even describe it properly.”

“Do you think it has something to do with the two of you being Wild Cards?” Futaba hummed wonderingly, Makoto nodding to her side.

“Well, there is something special about both Akechi and Akira, how they can wield many Personas. That could be a safe bet. Whatever it was… it sure was powerful. And we were lucky to have been able to use it.”

Throughout all of that, Akira kept silent; his eyes returning to the exhausted, older boy in front of him again and again. He was thinking of what had happened in that Palace, too; but the experience was still so raw and fresh, and so incredibly _intimate_ he could not bring himself to share it with his friends. The way Akechi spoke of it, he knew the other boy felt the same way. The next moment, Akira saw the other’s wine-red eyes look up and lock with his own, and the raven knew Akechi was going through the same turmoil, the same confusion. The adrenaline was still boiling in their veins; they felt both tense and relaxed, exhausted and ready for another fight at the same time. And with every second, with every breath, the tension grew more and more unbearable.

“…oh man. I’m going home with Lady Ann tonight.” Morgana mumbled from his place in the booth, watching the two with slightly worried look in his blue eyes. Akira managed a weak smile at him for that.

“…yeah. You do that, Morgana. You do that.”

 

* * *

 

“What happened, in the Palace...”

The voice was quiet behind him; and the tension from before only intensified now, when they were alone in the familiarity of the attic, still shaken and restless and not knowing how to deal with all that on their own. Akechi closed his eyes, allowed himself to feel what throughout the evening, he tried to push back.

“…I know.” he mumbled. He didn’t need to see Akira to feel the raven take the few last steps, near him; a warm, welcome presence behind his back.

“You could have died there.”

Now, that bit was somewhat surprising. What was even more so, was the full weight of the words spoken in Akira’s pained voice. It felt as if they were a burden the raven-haired boy laid over his shoulders. Gods, has it truly been weighing on the other so heavily? The possibility of _him_ dying, of all people? Akechi allowed himself a shaky breath. Slowly, the detective turned around, facing Akira.

“…as could you. As could all of us…”

“Not all of us jumped forth to take a blow meant for me.” Akira whispered, and Goro could feel his breath hitch. He could see Akira reach up, taking off his glasses, and it felt as if with them, any pretence, any mask went off as well. The raven’s eyes were wide and shining and _fearful_ as he looked at him. Without looking away, slowly, Akechi brought up his hands; Akira’s fingers were warm and trembling as he tugged the black gloves off and threw them away, onto the couch, before taking his bare hands in his own, bringing them up to his lips… The man who worried for his life. The man whose warmth, whose anger, whose conviction he could feel as his own; the one whose very soul melted together with his…

In the end, it was Goro who moved first. The tension, the electricity in the air was too much to bear, and the detective hardly had to think what to do before he leaned closer; close enough to kiss.

Can two people who shared a soul not an hour ago feel even more intimate..? Akechi wondered, but in the soft touch of their lips, in Akira’s warmth against him, in the raven’s arms wrapping around his frame and pulling him close, he found his answer.

How many kisses were there, lost in the flurry of need and fear and overbearing _elation_ at the fact that they were both still alive, that it all went well? Goro didn’t count; he didn’t _care_. There was only Akira’s desperation against his lips, his fingers in his hair, the taste of coffee and blood and _Akira_ on his tongue.

Goro couldn’t say when did they fall onto the bed, wrapped into each other tightly, not bothering to change their clothes. Their lips parted by then; pink and swollen from the heat of their kisses; but they could not bear to be apart. Their foreheads pressed together, noses brushing against one another, eyes closed and arms wrapped tightly around each of their bodies, keeping them close.

“…you want me. You want to _be_ with me.” Goro felt himself whisper – minutes, or perhaps hours later, he wouldn’t know. His voice was full of soft, silent wonder, of sweet disbelief. He felt, more than saw, Akira’s smile against his lips.

“Yes.”

Another smile, and another kiss. Akira rolled over at some point, and Goro realized with a blush that he was laying on the other boy now, his long bangs tickling Akira’s cheeks as they kissed, again and again. No matter how much they breathed the same air, it wasn’t enough; wasn’t _close_ , wasn’t _safe_ enough.

 _They could have died, but they didn’t_. And now, it was time to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as always, for commenting, liking and reading this story! I am now also publishing a new one, called New Game +, with weekly updates every Saturday, so check this one out if you haven't already ^^
> 
> Big thanks to Nate for being the amazing beta he always is!
> 
> Next chapter on June 14th


	6. The King and the Storyteller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before facing the consequences, Akira and Goro allow themselves one night without them.
> 
> Sojiro has some questions about an old case and Goro decides he is allowed to have fun once in a while.

Akira was not a morning person.

He’d wake up just early enough to _make it_ to school when it was school day. When there were holidays – or, well, when he had to skip school because he was a wanted criminal people thought was dead – he’d more often than not sleep well into the day, glad to laze about up until the point where he had to be called downstairs for breakfast.

There were special days, though, from time to time. And waking up with Akechi Goro snuggling up to him, warm in his arms, definitely warranted a special day.

Akira didn’t dare move, or even breathe, at first. He simply let himself wake up, and – upon waking up – appreciate the moment.

It had to be very early indeed; or late, depending how one looked at it. It was still dark out, and at first, Akira wondered what was it that woke him up. Save for their soft, silent breathing, there was no sound to be heard. Gentle, grey light shone through the window over his bed, illuminating the brown locks and soft skin of the detective in his arms. Akechi was so warm; the fabric of his clothes so soft under Akira’s fingertips. Once he finally dared to move away, if just a tiny bit, just to see him better, the look Goro had on his face made his heart skip a beat. The other looked so relaxed, no mask covering these handsome features, no fake smiles stretching these thin, sweet lips.

 _Goro’s lips_ …

Akira felt himself blush as he remembered last night. The kisses, the flurry of emotions… gods, he never imagined it to be this way. He may have fantasized of kissing Goro once or twice… well, okay, he fantasized about it quite often before, but he never imagined the detective to be so demanding, so sensual…

Goro stirred in his arms, and Akira stopped breathing again. He didn’t want this to end just yet; he wanted to feel the other warm and alive in his arms some more.

“…you’re going to suffocate if you won’t start breathing sometime soon, you know.” came a sleepy murmur, and Akira couldn’t help but smile. Without even thinking about it, he leaned in, only for his lips to be met halfway with Goro’s own; the kiss soft and sleepy and warm.

“Good morning, Goro.” Akira whispered, and felt the detective smile in reply.

“Good morning. What time is it? It’s still dark out…”

Goro moved a little bit away, and Akira had to stop himself from frowning when he felt him slip from his arms, sitting up. Goro stretched lightly and sighed, looking down at his crumpled clothes.

“…I hate falling asleep in my shirt and tie.” he murmured, and Akira chuckled quietly, propping himself up on his elbow a bit, his other hand reaching out, fingertips running down Goro’s back. He could feel the detective lean into the touch, and that was enough for Akira’s eyes to soften as he felt butterflies flutter in his stomach.

“Did you hate sleeping with me, then?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Goro turned and smiled down at him, and Akira felt his lips stretch into a little grin as he moved his hands a bit more and started to loosen the detective’s tie. Their eyes met, and the raven bit his lip, pulling the piece of clothing off and setting it down before slowly reaching for the buttons of his shirt. Goro’s hands covering his own and stopping him were not a surprise, even if they were unwelcome.

“…not good?” Akira murmured, sinking back down on the bed, and the other boy shook his head.

“That’s not it. It’s just… You’ve never seen me without my shirt on, have you? I have scars. It’s… not a pretty sight.”

“May I be the judge of that?” Akira whispered quietly, and Goro looked at him for a long while, before looking away and reaching to his collar. Button after button, he opened his shirt, conscious of Akira’s burning gaze on himself; until the fabric slid down his shoulders and pooled on his hips, and Akira bit his lip, watching as Goro gathered his shirt and set it to the side neatly before laying back down, next to him.

As if this was the sign he waited for, Akira leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Goro’s collarbone, smiling when he saw goosebumps rise over his soft skin where he kissed. Still, the detective didn’t push him away; rather, he relaxed under his kisses and then touches, when Akira’s hand slowly brushed over his chest and sides, stopping at the few round, ugly scars running from Goro’s navel down to his hip.

Gunshot wounds.

“…what happened?” Akira felt himself whisper, looking up to meet the other’s crimson gaze. Goro looked hesitant, even a bit ashamed; and Akira smiled at him softly and leaned back down, pressing a gentle kiss over every single scar. It made Goro gasp, but he seemed to relax thanks to it.

“…first trip to the Metaverse.” he explained quietly. Akira frowned up at him.

“But… don’t Metaverse wounds become much less severe once we come back to the real world?”

“…they do. The original wounds would have killed me if I didn’t immediately get out.” Goro smiled lightly, and Akira found himself biting his lip at how sad and grim that smile was. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around the detective, pulling him close against his chest, kissing his forehead.

“Akira..? You’re trembling.”

“It’s your fault, idiot…” the raven grumbled, feeling Goro’s arms sneak around his waist, holding him close as well. “Just how many times did you risk your life..? How many times I could just lose you, even before knowing you…? This is terrifying to think about…”

“Most of the times I risked my life, I was taking someone else’s, or at least hurting them. I don’t think I deserve someone feeling bad about that happening to me.”

The words were soft, and yet they bit deep into Akira’s heart as he sighed, leaning back and pressing a sweet kiss against Goro’s cheek.

…you’re a lot different than back then.” he murmured quietly, pushing a loose strand of hair behind Goro’s ear. “So isn’t it alright if I feel this way? Seriously… you’ve changed so much, Goro. It’s like I’m seeing the same boy who’d come to Leblanc to relax and escape from having to act, but it’s just how he permanently is now. I’m happy for it.”

“Perhaps it was really my actual self you witnessed then, at Leblanc. And what you’re witnessing now. I’d like to believe it is.”

“You’re not sure?”

“I haven’t been in touch with the real me for a while now. Well, I was in touch with Robin Hood and Loki… but that is different.” Akechi yawned, hesitating before he started to speak again.

“Are you familiar with the Tales of One Thousand and One Nights, Akira?”

Well, here’s a question coming completely out of nowhere. The raven laughed quietly and shook his head, pulling Akechi closer against himself.

“Let’s just say that I consider myself well-read, but perhaps not in this particular kind of literature.”

“Alright, well… It’s a collection of Arabian folk tales, all gathered under one frame story. The main story is that… I may not remember all details right, but suffice to say there was a cruel king once, who considered all women to be unfaithful by nature. As such, he married a new girl every day and executed her the next morning. Finally, he married a woman named Scheherazade, who – on their wedding night – started to tell him a story. She wasn’t able to finish, though, and so the king postponed her execution. Every night she’d start a new story and leave it unfinished before dawn, until finally, after one thousand and one nights passed, she finished her last one and resigned herself to her fate. But the cruel king fell in love with his wife over time, and in the end, he could not bring himself to kill her. And, as the fairy tales would have it, they lived happily ever after.”

There was a bit of silence after Akechi finished telling the story; finally, the detective moved back and looked at Akira, only to blush deeply at the kind of face Akira looked at him with.

“W-why are you…”

“You’re so damn adorable.” Akira said simply, grinning as he dove in and silenced Akechi’s embarrassed protests with a deep, thorough kiss. Once that was done – and they caught their breaths afterwards – it was Akira’s turn to speak.

“So… you think that’s us, in a way?” he hummed thoughtfully. “That by forcing you to stay with me… I managed to turn your cruelty into something much softer..? Is that what you’re getting at?”

“More or less.” Akechi agreed, looking away as the blush persisted on his cheeks. “Perhaps with it sounding less like I’m a victim of some Stockholm Syndrome, though. I suppose it was through the influence of you living with me… talking with me… giving me a place to belong to that I changed. And… well. That I no longer consider myself a terrible person for wanting to be with you.”

Akira smiled lightly at that, moving his hand down, catching Akechi’s own and pressing a kiss over his knuckles, enjoying the look that earned him. And then…

“So… does that make you my king..?”

No matter how much Akira expected that particular tease to get to Akechi, he did not expect this much of a reaction. The way Goro shuddered beside him, the deepening blush and his eyes darting up to meet his… oh damn, he hit a jackpot there, didn’t he..?

“…oh god. You liked that, didn’t you.”

“…shut up.”

 “Why? I like it, too… I like the thought of you being my king.” Akira’s voice turned low and seductive, and hooo boy he hoped he was doing this right, because it wasn’t like he had much experience with this sort of thing.

“Even kneeling for you…”

“Akira…” Goro groaned, covering his face with his hands just as Akira rolled them over, sitting up so that he could hover over him, smirk right there stretching his lips.

“What is it, my king?”

“Stop that!”

“Why? You love it. And so do I.”

Akira chuckled, leaning down, poking gently at Goro’s fingers with his nose, until the other boy relented and moved them away, letting the raven kiss him deeply. These long, elegant fingers tangled into Akira’s hair, and he felt himself shudder when Goro tugged on his messy strands sensually, slowly losing himself in the kiss.

“…we really _shouldn’t_ be doing that…” the detective managed to say, weakly, only to be silenced again when Akira closed his lips with kisses once more.

“Why not? It’s still dark out. Boss won’t come here for hours. We don’t even need to ask Morgana to leave…”

“I… I mean, I guess, but…”

“Do you not want to..?”

Akira leaned back, suddenly looking unsure. Was he… coming on too hard here? Goro looked up at him and his eyes softened, the other’s arms wrapping slowly around Akira’s shoulders, pulling him back down into a kiss.

“…I want to.” he whispered, looking away, eyes half-lidded and a gentle smile on his face, and Akira was positive he has never seen anything this beautiful before. “I’m only scared of… of _hurting_ you. What happened in the Palace… I want to feel close like that with you again. It feels like I won’t be able to go on unless I do. But…”

“You’re scared of us being together, huh.” Akira hummed, slowly allowing his body to sink down, resting it on Goro’s, hiding his face in the crook of the detective’s neck. “Of what an actual relationship might entail.”

“…in a way.” Goro murmured quietly, tightening his hold on him. “It would be… stupid of us, and irresponsible at that, to proceed with this any…”

“Then let’s not be in a relationship.” Akira interrupted, and he felt Goro blink as he looked down at him in confusion.

“…how do you mean that?”

“Let’s kiss and make love and be stupid and irresponsible. It’s just the one night we have, Goro. Just this one. Tomorrow, there'll be Morgana and we'll be overthinking everything and it’ll all become complicated… but tonight, you’re here and you’re beautiful and I want to be with you.”

“…you won’t be able to forget this tomorrow.”

“No. But I can pretend.”

Goro smiled, his hands moving over Akira’s face, caressing his cheeks softly.  

“It will hurt you. It will hurt both of us.”

“Let it.”

“…alright.”

 

* * *

 

The morning came with Goro waking up once again, this time to soft rays of sunlight, and with a smile as he opened his eyes and saw the position they were in.

Akira’s arms were wrapped around him; he himself snuggled up against Akira’s chest, his hand resting over the raven’s heart and his head tucked under his chin.

Last night was still fresh in the detective’s mind, and he felt himself blush remembering it. There was strange freedom in how he could move away a little and then lean in, pressing his lips against Akira’s warm, sleepy smile; how he could brush their noses together and rest his head against the pillow once more, watching his lover sleep peacefully, illuminated by the early sunlight.

This was what Akira did with him, wasn’t it? He made him free. First of Shido, then of his ambition and loneliness; finally of  his self-loathing and doubts. The raven took one after the other, destroyed it and gave him something better and sweeter in exchange, and Goro found himself so happy and grateful, in this sweet morning hour, that he could hardly stop himself from kissing Akira again.

He knew he had to get up, eventually. Last night… no matter how much he knew he should, Goro couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Their kiss; sleeping in each other’s arms… Their brief awakening and their nightly conversations, and then Akira…

Goro felt himself flush, closing his eyes as he remembered, the memory sweet and precious and shy. Akira kissing him; Akira undressing him and letting himself be undressed by his own fingers, trembling in a mixture of excitement and affection. Their bodies pressed flush together, and how hot they were against one another, and how sweetly Akira’s voice sounded, raw and wanton and _perfect_ in Goro’s ear when they let their passion overtake them.

It won’t happen again, Goro understood that; not before his plans were complete, and he had properly atoned for his crimes. Still, no matter what future might bring, he will always have last night; he will always remember that Akira Kurusu once wanted him.

Finally, with that thought, the detective slipped away from the raven’s warm embrace, gathered some fresh clothes and took a quick shower. Once Goro was done making himself respectable again, he stepped down into the café, Akira still asleep and cuddling a pillow to his chest when he left him. Futaba seemed to be asleep, too, as the only person down was Sojiro, preparing to open. The old man threw him a look, a little smile, and went to prepare some curry, as Akechi smiled back and reached for his apron, wanting to help.

“…you feel right at home here already, hm?” Sojiro hummed, and for whatever reason, the words stung. Did he..? Was he feeling at home here..? Well, Goro supposed he did. There was never a place he could call _home_ before Leblanc; his mother’s dingy apartment, foster homes, finally his soulless place in Shibuya… these were all places he lived in at one point or another, but none of these were his home. The dusty attic of Leblanc though… that was warm, safe, with its dust and cobwebs and the ever-present smell of coffee…

_And Akira, of course._

_To think you’d find a place to call home… aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? You’re only here because there is no other place for you at the moment. Don’t get attached; you don’t deserve it._

“…I’m sorry. I do realize I am an intruder here…” Akechi started to apologize, looking down, slipping into his polite detective persona without even meaning to, creating a barrier on instinct. Sojiro frowned at him, he could feel it.

“Why’re you all on defence about it? I’m glad you’re fitting in so nicely.” he heard the man say, and looked up in surprise. _Glad_..? When Akira said he wanted to _save him_ , that he wanted to rehabilitate him, that was easier to swallow… but why would _this man_ be happy he was living here?

“You’ve been a great help, too. And the kid’s all smitten with you, isn’t he? You make him happy.”

Akechi looked away to hide his blush at that. _He_ made Akira happy..? Wasn’t it the other way around? Almost as if he wanted to somehow make sure he earned the comment about being a help, Goro reached for his apron and put it on, busying himself with preparing coffee. He was doing better at it lately, though he still wasn’t good enough for Akira to be unable to tell whether it was his coffee or Boss’s.

“I… won’t be here much longer.” he said quietly, after a while. “I have been intruding for long enough already, and now that my common business with the Phantom Thieves is done, I do believe I have no need to trouble you… and them… with myself anymore.”

“You sure that’s the case?” Sojiro hummed quietly. They had their backs to each other, but strangely, even not seeing the man’s face, Goro felt at ease. He wondered what was it in Sojiro, that it was so easy to confide in him. It was different with Akira. The raven was obsessed with making Akechi open up, even if he didn’t say anything, Goro could feel him try to look through the mask. It was comforting, of course – no one knew him as well as the raven did by now – but sometimes, people like Sojiro were easier to talk to. People to whom he could speak his mind without having to try and be honest with his feelings, with whom he could listen to his own words.

“I have troubles thinking of myself as anything but a sore sight in a house belonging to the family of the woman whom I murdered.” Goro said quietly, his head low. He was doing it again, he realized. Covering, as if he expected to be hit.

“Yeah… I was meaning to ask about that one of these days, without Futaba there to listen in.” Sojiro sighed, washing his hands and leaning on the counter beside Akechi, watching the boy make coffee for them before smiling lightly.

“Pour a little slower next time. Otherwise, that looks like a perfect cup of coffee right there.”

And then, after he took his first sip and hummed thoughtfully at the taste, Sojiro continued quietly. Goro would lie if he said he didn’t dread his words, but they were said in kind voice, surprisingly.

“So… how did it happen, that a fifteen-year-old kid murdered a woman like Wakaba, hm?”

“…I do realize you might not believe me…” Akechi sighed, closing his eyes. He remembered that time. God, he remembered it so well. His first kill… all of a sudden, he felt sick.

“I was not… _intending_ to kill her. I didn’t _want to_. It was soon after I first offered my services to Shido.” he heard himself say. “For a while, all he had me do was gathering information… sometimes making someone do or say something stupid, to get his opponents out of the way. It’s an easy enough thing to do in the Metaverse. But then… There was word on that research, and Shido wanted to get his hands on it. He asked me to kill her shadow, so he could steal it.”

“…and you had no choice but to do it..?” Sojiro looked like he at least tried to sympathize, but frowned when Akechi smiled bitterly in reply.

“No. I refused. I told him that I wouldn’t kill her.” he said quietly, eyes trained on his hands, an expression of disgust as he stared at them. Even now, he could feel blood that soaked his hands so many times… All of a sudden, Goro felt he missed his gloves.

“That was when Shido told me that I was wrong. He kept goading me, calling me a child, someone who thinks he knows how to use the Metaverse without truly knowing how it works. He has seen the research, or parts of it, he said. Killing one’s shadow does nothing but render the person temporarily unconscious. That is all that he needed, he explained; a brief moment of coma and the lingering amnesia will let them steal the research with no one the wiser.”

“…and that was a lie, huh. You believed him?” Sojiro asked quietly.

“I… I wish I could say I did with clear conscience, but I can't do that. I convinced myself that Shido knew better; that he had to be right. But deed down, I always knew… and still, I killed her. I still remember it so well. She wasn’t even fighting back; she _smiled_ as she called for her daughter for the last time.” Goro choked on his words quietly, hiding his face in his hands. It took him a moment before he calmed himself down; when he did, the rest of his words came out in calm voice, almost forcefully so.

“When I came back… Shido made sure to fill me in on what a good job I’ve done. Afterwards… what did it matter anymore? I already killed someone. Made an innocent kid end up an orphan, made another woman die after my own mother. What reason did I have to not finish off his other enemies..?”

Goro heard Sojiro sigh, and he clenched his teeth. He felt his eyes water, the blurred vision startling him at first. This was… how much time has passed since he allowed himself to truly feel the guilt he carried in himself for all the sins he committed? How many times did he allow these memories to resurface?

“I know I can’t ever make it any less painful… or unforgivable… but for what it’s worth, _I’m sorry_ , Boss. I wish I could turn back time, but I cannot. I need to face what I’ve done and face the consequences, and…”

“Oh, shut up already, kid…”

Akechi looked up, his eyes wide as he heard the choked tone of the older man’s voice. His ears did not deceive him; Sojiro was wiping tears away from underneath his glasses, grumbling as he did. Goro could do nothing but blink at him stupidly; he was completely speechless.

“I was wondering, what kind of cold-blooded murderer Akira dragged in here the first time Futaba told me you’re here… turns out you’re just another kid like them, right?” Sojiro sniffled, and then blew his nose loudly. Akechi shook his head tentatively and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could…

“It wasn’t your fault, kid. It wasn’t.”

“But… you weren’t listening, I _told_ you, I…”

“I know what you said. And I’m telling you, I, personally, don’t blame you for Wakaba’s death. And after hearing that, I doubt Futaba will, either.”

Goro bit his lip; this time, he was decisive as he shook his head again.

“Please, don’t tell her what I have told you just now. I don’t… I don’t _deserve_ her forgiveness, of all people.”

This time, Sojiro smiled and reached out, ruffling Akechi’s hair – and once again rendering him completely speechless.

“Well, about that… you do realize she has this place all bugged up, right? Besides, it’s not up to you to decide whether you deserve forgiveness or not. You can only give someone the truth, and let them decide for themselves. I’m sure Futaba forgave you some time ago, in fact; she’s a smart girl, and a good one, too. Knowing what you’ve told me… it’ll probably only make it easier for her. Think of how she might be feeling, boy. She’s making friends with someone she knows had a hand in her mother’s death… letting her know you were at least an unwilling party in this will help her make peace with that.”

“You… you _knew_ she’ll be listening.” Akechi had so many thoughts in his mind right now, but somehow, this was the one that he vocalized, in an accusatory voice, frowning at Sojiro’s deep chuckle. Damn all of them… then again, he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. This was the man in charge of raising Akira for the last half a year. Go figure he was just as cunning as the younger raven. And then, Goro’s frown softened, and he took a sip of his own coffee, humming thoughtfully.

“Do you… really think she would even _want_ someone like me for a friend?”

“…kid. How many anime did she make you promise you’ll watch with her?”

“Um… a lot.”

“There’s your answer.” Sojiro smiled lightly, nudging Akechi with his elbow before going back to cooking his curry.

“Now, I don’t know what you’re planning to do anytime soon, but you’ll be staying here until Christmas. Consider this a payment for staying here all this time, alright?”

And somehow, Goro had no more strength to argue. Instead, he smiled, a surprisingly soft, genuine smile.

“Understood, Boss. And… thank you. For everything.”

“Don’t mention it, kid.”

 

* * *

 

When Akira finally woke up – very much dissatisfied that it was with a pillow in his arms, and not with Goro – it was almost noon. It didn’t take him long to dress, wash up and get down, but apparently it _was_ late enough. Namely, as Akira stepped down into Leblanc and greeted the customers politely, he realized there was only Sojiro and the regulars in the booth there.

No Goro.

Well, that was enough to set off alarm bells, and by the time Sojiro noticed him, Akira managed to have his mind run through all the possible reasons and circumstances of why the detective was gone from the place he has been staying at for almost a month now. Everything, from going out to buy groceries to running away because of last night… and frankly, Akira didn’t like any of his ideas.

“…stop looking like the world itself betrayed you, kid, eat and grab an apron.” Sojiro chuckled, and that chuckle made the raven come back to Earth. “The other kid went out with Futaba. They were waiting for you for a while, but since you weren’t getting up, they went out on their own. Said they had something they needed to take care of in town.” the older man said before Akira could ask, and the raven felt himself blush lightly before obediently sitting by the counter and getting started on his curry. The two of them going out? What was that about? Akira was definitely curious…

Well, no matter how curious he was, for the next few hours he had his hands full. Largely because of Akechi’s charm, Leblanc became the last fashionable place to hang out for half of Tokyo, it seemed; they had customers around the clock, even if it never really felt too crowded, somehow. Sojiro looked half happy and half annoyed by the influx of customers. His café definitely never did better.

Futaba came back in the afternoon, smiling and giggly and refusing to spill on what exactly the two of them were doing in town while Akira was left on his lonesome, working his ass off. Another betrayal of trust for Akira. He gave Futaba his best _Et tu, Brute?_ look, but the girl just giggled and showed him the few pictures she took while they were hanging out. All it took was her promising that she’ll send him the one with Akechi looking absolutely blissful while eating a crepe for Akira to forgive her secrecy.

It was evening by the time Goro came back, too; carrying various bags and looking extremely self-satisfied as he quickly checked whether there were many customers in – there weren’t – and chiming a sweet _Honey, I’m home_ at Akira, effectively making the raven blush and almost drop the plate he was holding.

Wait, did he just get served with the same line he dropped on detective all this time ago? More importantly, was this _Goro Akechi_ making _him_ blush? With _his_ signature, crooked smile on face?

_Good lord, I’m rubbing off on him. I have created a monster._

“…you’re awfully late.” he managed to stutter out, somehow, and Akechi smiled this sweet little smile at him that made him melt and _good lord, why is he smiling at me this way, why does he look so happy, what happened during the day?_

 “Slept well?” Goro continued to smile, leaving his bags by the stairs and sitting by the counter, the sweet, cunning smile still on his lips and Akira was now one hundred percent sure Goro was planning on getting him as flustered as he could get away with.

“Very well. We should spend a night like that more often, it does wonders for assuring a good night's sleep.” he shot back. Admittedly, it took Akira more time than usual to think up one of his one-liners, and he knew Akechi noticed, if that victorious little smile was anything to go by. Frankly..? He could live with it, for tonight.

“So, what were you up to whole day?”

“Did you miss me?”

“Desperately.” Akira purred, happy to see that oh, right _there_ , there was the blush he was looking for. Goro coughed lightly in his hand before fixing him with a look from these beautiful wine-red eyes of his.

“Well, I suppose I did notice the lack of your presence at some point, too.” he said after a moment. “I was out in Shibuya; there were few things I wanted to take care of.” he smiled, knowing full well that this much information Akira would have gathered already.

“Do I get to hear the details?”

“Hm… no.”

“Do I get to see what’s in these bags of yours?”

“No way.”

“I hate you.”

“Ah, but we both know that’s a lie, Akira.”

They grinned at each other, and the raven felt the tiniest shudder run up his spine. Something good had to happen; he knew something did. With how relaxed and happy Goro acted… and not _just_ acted, not this time – something had to go right for him. And even though not knowing what frustrated him a bit, Akira couldn’t help but feel… happy, too. Extremely happy, in fact.

They still had a bit of time until closing, but as there weren’t many customers left, Sojiro let Akira relax for the evening. Off work finally and with nothing better to do, the raven smiled at Goro as they climbed up to the attic, the detective soon busying himself trying to stuff his bags on one of the shelves. Akira couldn’t help but notice he placed them in such a way it’d be impossible for him to look inside without moving half the things on the shelf, and having Goro notice he was snooping. _Sneaky sneaky_ …

“Will I at least be given a kiss to make up for this cruelty you’re subjecting me to?” Akira asked, even though he already knew the answer; the soft, sad smile on the detective’s lips was enough of one.

“…we agreed that last night we were being irresponsible, Akira.” Goro said quietly, standing up and turning away from the shelves. The raven sighed, but braved a little smile and nodded quietly.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading this story and leaving me a word or two after you did! You guys are the best ^^ Many thanks to Nate, too, as always.
> 
> Next chapter on June 21st


	7. Dissonance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A simple question leads to some unpleasant consequences; Goro and Akira try to talk about their feelings, with doubtful results. Meanwhile, Christmas is nearing; and the world is not quite as it is supposed to be.

“So, what’s up with you two? Are you, like, together?”

It was the evening of the election. Shido confessed; and did more than that, took full blame for everything. The murders, the mental shutdowns, everything. Goro’s name didn’t come up in public, and Sae – as much as she needed a long while after first learning the detective was in Leblanc the whole time, and was a member of the Phantom Thieves now, too – admitted that it will be easy to get the boy detective virtually off the hook as long as the Phantom Thieves will keep their silence.

They were partying for a while now, and whether it was the happy, relaxed atmosphere or the fact that throughout the evening, Akira could hardly bear to be away from Goro’s side for more than a minute, the question eventually came. They were in the process of teasing Ryuuji when Ann hummed it curiously, and the next second everyone’s eyes were on them and everyone fell silent, leaving both Akira and Akechi feeling like they were in the spotlight, and not liking it very much.

“…that’s… it’s not like that.” Goro said decisively, and Akira couldn’t help but feel his heart give a soft, painful squeeze. Alright, so they didn’t talk about it; about their feelings, about the _irresponsibility_ they acted as if it had never happened… Last night, Goro turned his back to him again and asked him not to hold him, on excuse that it was too warm, which, bullshit, it was pretty cold even _with_ their little heater on, but Akira accepted it and didn’t ask questions. In the morning, he once again woke up to Goro already gone and working down at Leblanc, and throughout the day they hardly exchanged more than a few sentences…

And now, this.

Of course, Akira didn’t expect Goro to just up and declare they were together without them having any real conversation about it beforehand, and actually agreeing this wasn’t the case, but… _Because_ they didn’t fully explain anything to each other, the simple reply made all of his insecurities rear their ugly heads up. Was this said just for the benefit of them not yet becoming officially a couple, or was this how Goro truly felt? When he said he didn’t want to get in a relationship with Akira now, did he mean it as in _for now,_ or did he mean it _never.._? Was there, in the end, only friendship between them…?

“I… I feel somewhat bad for assuming you’d even want someone like me in your group, after everything that happened, but I have come to consider all of you my friends. Mind you, I… never really had friends, so I might not be very good at it.”

Goro continued to talk, and most of the Phantom Thieves laughed or hooted, patting the detective’s back or smiling at him before settling down again.

“Akira is someone I have spent the most time with, and received the most help and understanding from… I cannot overstate how much this means to me. But… that is it.”

Alright, so scratch the _painful squeeze_. This shit actually hurt, and a lot. Really? Was he overthinking it this badly..? Goro didn’t look like he was lying…

Still, Akira himself was more than skilled at wearing masks and making sure none of his friends worried about him too much. He smiled lightly and nudged the former detective with his elbow, teasing him with some off-hand line about him being cold. Everyone laughed and the tension melted down as Akira confirmed that of course, they were just friends.

By the end of it, only Morgana and Sojiro; and Futaba, perhaps; looked at him with worried eyes, making it clear they did not believe one word of the bullshit he had just make himself say, nor of the subsequent false smiles and quips that followed for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

Morgana had asked whether they would prefer to be alone, when all the Phantom Thieves started gathering their things and heading out, later into the evening. Akira shook his head decisively, and Goro had protested the cat leave, as well. After all, why would they need to be alone? It wasn’t like _that_ was going to happen again; not after this evening.

Maybe if they could talk about it, in private, right away, it would have felt better. Maybe Akira could ask Goro whether he meant what he told his friends and how he truly felt about him. But, as the evening melted into the night and the party went on, they were not given that moment of privacy and the raven found himself overthinking and growing more and more resentful about it all.

Was Goro really not interested in him this way? What was he supposed to think, then? They kissed… and that night as a whole, the soft, whispered _you want me_ he remembered so well, the breathless flush on the detective’s face… How could it only be _friendship_ anymore? And after that, too; did they not continue to flirt with one another..? Weren’t they being comfortable and warm and… did they not become at least a little bit more than friends..? Was Akira really wrong in thinking it was something more?

It shouldn’t have hurt so much, Akira knew. These were just words, and the rational part of him knew Goro had a good reason why he said what he had said; whether he believed it or not. He trusted him this much. But he also felt whiny and hurt and unhappy, and when they were finally left alone, he grabbed Morgana and marched upstairs, not looking back at the detective who slowly followed him.

“…Akira?” came Goro’s voice, and the raven bit his lip at how tentative he sounded. Morgana huffed as he jumped down from his arms and onto the bed as Akira turned to the other boy, watching how his expression made Goro bite his lip and look away.

“…I am sorry for saying all that without consulting you first.” he said quietly, and Akira’s mind couldn’t help but comment on what a wonderful detective Goro had to be to notice that was something he might have been feeling hurt about, or angry for. Good job, _ace_.

“Akira, we agreed that night didn’t happen. I _warned_ you we’ll get hurt because of it.” Goro continued to speak, sighing as he went over to the bed and started to pet Morgana, who simply shook his head with a little _you’re both idiots_ , but accepted his caresses. “I didn’t know whether you felt anyhow about me saying anything regarding our, erm… _status_ , and I didn’t know if you would even want someone like me to…”

“Even though I _told you_ I want you?” Akira interrupted, he himself surprised how uncharacteristically aggressive his voice sounded. He coughed lightly in embarrassment and shook his head, his look softening. No, get a grip, Akira. Goro had a point, he didn’t deserve having his anger taken out on…

“…I didn’t know if you would even want someone like me to be in an… official relationship with.” Goro finished his previous sentence quietly, eyes cast down. “In front of all your friends… you know, the people I _killed parents of_. You’re their leader, Akira. Don’t you think we shouldn’t make it anyhow official until you make sure this will not drive a wedge between all of you?”

Goro made sense, and Akira hated the fact that he did. Still…

“…I’m not angry.” he said quietly, after a long while, to Morgana’s huff; still, it seemed the cat decided not to butt in this particular conversation. “You’re right. It was all me, it was _my_ decision to go through with it even after I heard you warn me it might end up painful for both of us. Anyhow… it’s not like we passed some point of no return. We kissed, we cuddled, we, erm, slept together...”

“Thanks for that info.”

“Morgana… shut up, okay?” Akira scoffed, but couldn’t help but smile; and felt relief when he saw Goro smile a little, too, the tension between them lifting, if just a bit…

“Yes. I… suppose we should agree this should not happen again. Ever.”

_Oh_.

“…so… you regret it, then?” Akira heard himself say, his mind strangely… empty. He felt numb; not hurt or fretting anymore, but more like he has just run into a wall, and could not gather his thoughts after the impact.

“I did not say that.” Goro said quietly, his brilliant eyes raising to meet with Akira’s. Gods, he was so confused. He didn’t understand what was happening.

“But then…”

“Akira, I am going to leave Leblanc after Christmas; and that only because I promised Boss I will stay until then. I am grateful for all you have done for me; more so than I can say… but I will not stay here. You, too, will soon be returning to your hometown, once your probation is up.”

“But… what does any of that matter..? We could still…”

“No.” Goro shook his head, his jaw clenched and his eyes determined; and that, more than his words, made Akira realize there was no fighting him here. Ah… now it started to hurt.

“I apologize… I shouldn’t have allowed for that kiss to happen, much less anything else. If I had hurt you in any way, that was not my  intention. I realize I shouldn’t have allowed us to grow this close.”

_Stop apologizing. You’re only making it worse_.

“…Akira..?”

“No, it’s fine.” he felt himself say; _forced himself_ to say. “I… I just… it’s my own fault. I was overthinking it too much.”

“That’s…” Goro hesitated. Akira could see his hand twitch, and wondered – briefly – if the detective was thinking of reaching up, of comforting him somehow. He never did, and Akira closed his eyes, feeling terrible.

_Pull yourself together. You’re acting like a child_.

“…I’ll take the couch tonight.” Goro said quietly, and stood up, grabbing his pyjamas and moving towards the bathroom. Akira didn’t argue. He sat heavily on the bed and hid his face in his hands, rubbing his temples. To his side, he heard a sigh and then, Morgana’s warm weight laying on his knees.

“…you alright, Akira?”

“Do I look alright to you?”

Morgana sighed again, curling up on his knees. Akira sighed, shaking his head. He really needed to stop agonizing over this. There was nothing to agonize over, after all. A misunderstanding being cleared up, that’s all. Yes, he had to think of it like that. There was never anything between them, after all; why should he feel like he just lost something precious..?

“…he was lying, you know.” Morgana said quietly, and Akira looked down at him, his eyes taking surprisingly long to focus. Wait, what..?

“He loves you. I’m sure of it, on account of being asked advice about how to go about it. Why else would I tell _you_ to go for it when you talked to me about your own feelings, you moron..?”

“But then…”

Morgana scoffed and shook his head, curling up tighter on Akira’s lap.

“Don’t ask me. I guess he has his own reasons for pushing you away… it does feel like a stupid move, but who knows..? It’s not like you can force him if he’s not ready.”

“I suppose…” Akira sighed. Well… alright, this did make him feel a little bit better. So he wasn’t entirely wrong. Still… hell, what was happening? Truly, what was happening? It all felt like such a mess…

“…what should I do, Morgana?”

“How should I know..? I never had troubles like this! But… Perhaps just give him time. I mean, last few days, a lot had happened. He might feel like pushing you away is something he needs to do. Just let him come around to it, and don’t beat yourself up too much. It’ll all come together in the end.”

 

* * *

 

For the first time in his life, Akira was sincerely happy he had exams.

Ever since the talk they had, things were… awkward, extremely so. Goro would wake up before him and work at the Leblanc by the time Akira went down; and then either spend time with Futaba or continue to work, with just a few words passed between them here and there. It was even worse in the evenings; with just the two of them, Akira trying to focus on studying and Goro either reading or pretending to read, all done in heavy, uncomfortable silence.

Time and time again, Akira felt like the former detective was trying to reach out to him, only to stop himself every time. How he’d turn to him with an unguarded smile on his face, only to remember himself and turn back; how he’d start saying something and catch himself before a whole word could be formed. Again and again it happened, and Akira found some solace in knowing that the situation wasn’t something Goro was happy in, either. Perhaps one of these days, it’ll prove to be too much for the detective, and they will talk once more; and Akira will have a chance of convincing Goro there was no need for them to be apart when both of them so obviously wanted to be together.

Exams offered an escape from the awkwardness and the heaviness of that situation, and Akira welcomed them. He knew he did well, and every day he left and then came back in the evening, he’d feel a tiny bit lighter, even though Goro’s behaviour didn’t change one bit. Perhaps he was simply getting used to it was all.

Meanwhile, Christmas was nearing, and Akira saw more and more little, tasteful decorations around Leblanc and also on the attic, and saw Futaba talking excitedly about the celebration with Goro, the two of them laughing and bickering and making him feel both strangely happy and strangely left out. At least Morgana stayed with him, cheering him up the best he could. The cat really was a blessing whenever he didn’t try to, uh… murder him for not going to bed early enough.

Despite everything, days passed like so, and the numb feeling remained in his chest. And then, finally, December 24th arrived… and everything, from exams to love troubles very suddenly started to matter a lot less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you - as always - to everyone reading and commenting on this story! I apologize for a slightly later update than usual. I have been writing and rewriting this chapter so many times, and I'm still not quite happy with it, but I suppose I don't have an idea how to make it better, so there.
> 
> Thanks to Nate, as always.
> 
> The next chapter is sadly put in the void for now; although I /will/ try my best to publish it on June 28th, I cannot promise it this time, for rl reasons. I can promise it will not take longer than two, maximum three weeks, though, and after chapter 8th it'll be back to regular weekly posting until the end of this story ^^


	8. Wings of Rebellion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight for Shibuya - and the world - is resting on the Phantom Thieves' shoulders. 
> 
> Sometimes, the burden is just too great.

_This is… a much more pleasant way to die than the last time I did it._

The thought was certainly a ridiculous one, floating up to the forefront of Goro’s mind as he stumbled onto the hard ground. Compared to being shot through the head, disappearing peacefully from this world felt almost boring. His hand was still reaching out, hopelessly, in Akira’s direction; but though their fingers neared, they were no closer to one another, their bodies fading away before they could touch. A minute ago, when it just started, Goro has been overcome with panic and dread. Seeing his friends; scratch that, seeing _Akira_ fade away was the most terrifying thing he has ever encountered. Now, however; with his whole existence already almost gone; he felt nothing but peace.

The last thing Goro registered was Akira crying out, desperately, for him.

It wasn’t a _bad_ way to go out, he decided.

The sharp stinging in his back and the coldness of the bed underneath him; and the scratchy feeling of the ragged prisoner uniform against his skin told the former detective, however, that he was not dying quite yet, after all.

His wine-red eyes flew open as he stared at the inside of the blue prison cell that was somewhat familiar to him, from the few times he has been called in here already. There were voices coming from outside of it; sounds of a battle, really. Trying to get his vision to stop swimming, Goro rolled off his bed, stumbling to the locked door of his cell; his fingers wrapping around the cold, metal bars as he peered outside.

Akira.

The first thing; the first person he noticed was Akira, broken out of a cell; in his usual Joker clothes. The relief that washed over him at the sight was almost too great, and Goro felt himself slump forward against the doors of the cell, his breathing quickened.

_He was alright. He didn’t disappear after all. The rest are probably somewhere here, too…_

Goro’s vision more focused now, he tried to make sense of the situation he was witnessing. Igor was there, albeit instead of sitting behind his usual desk, he was floating in front of Akira, looking hardly like himself anymore. The two wardens that never really attended him were nowhere to be found, either. Instead, there was an unfamiliar, small girl in blue standing beside Akira, whose back was turned to him. Still more coherent now, Goro started to make sense of the things being said.

“…you truly were a prisoner that did not bore me. Perhaps observing you a while longer may prove amusing. I shall grant you an opportunity to make a deal with me.”

“…what is this deal?”

Goro frowned, looking at Akira. He could not see his face; but the tone in which this was spoken frightened him. Akira; his constant, rebellious, ridiculous Akira was _tempted_. Already. He couldn’t seriously be considering… They both made a deal with this… _creature_ … once, and looked where it took them both.

“Should you wish it, I shall return the world to its prior state – one rampant with distorted masses. Your friends will be returned to you… as will the one you love.”

Goro’s hands tightened on the metal bars; he felt cold dread seep through his body. Igor… or whomever this was now… _couldn’t_ be meaning him, could he? Akira _couldn’t_ be truly in love with him. He couldn’t seriously be here only to be used as a bait because of this. Goro leaned forward, trying to call out; but no words slipped from his lips, he could make no sound. He could only watch.

“You forcefully dragged them into the Metaverse and imposed an ordeal they did not deserve…” the girl was the one speaking now. “Yet you still intend on toying with him!?”

“The Phantom Thieves will be praised and gain fame. The world will escape ruin as well. You will be allowed to live peacefully with the one you love freed from the darkness tormenting him. …What say you?”

Akira was silent. Through his prison door, Goro could see him hesitating, unsure of what to reply. _No, no, no_ … This was a trap, this obviously was, it _had to_ be. Akira _couldn’t_ …

“…you’d return my friends… return Goro to me?” came a soft voice, and the detective groaned, even though it was not audible to anyone but him.

“Certainly.”

“I…” Akira’s voice wavered; and Goro was shaken to see the raven clenched his fists, trembling. And then, he shook his head, a little sound escaping him before he looked up at the floating form of the prison master, body tense with pain.

“I _can’t…_ ” he whispered, helplessly. “It’s not… It’s not how the world should be, what you want to return it to. I _refuse_.”

The relief he felt made Goro’s head spin; and by the time he blinked the dizziness away, Igor..? was gone, and another form; another Igor has taken his place, sitting behind his desk, talking to Akira in an ear-splitting voice that was somehow much more creepy and yet much more warm and heartening than the other one. And then, Goro saw Akira look over the prison master’s shoulder and notice him; and whatever conversation he was having has been left broken, because the raven broke into a run, reaching out through the bars of his cell which disappeared the moment Goro saw him near, his own prison rags changing into the familiar, white-and-red clothes.

For a second, Goro was tempted; more than he could explain; to lean into Akira’s arms, to throw away his mask and kiss him, to let himself be comforted in this warm embrace. The moment passed, though, and Goro stepped back before Akira could reach him, smiling at him gently, trying to ignore the hurt that flashed in the raven’s exhausted, desperate eyes.

“…I could hear everything.” Goro confessed quietly, looking away. “You chose the right thing. I mean, I’m still hardly sure what happened, but…”

“Goro…”

“Let’s find the others.” the detective shook his head, wishing Akira will forgive him.

_I have been used against you once already, Akira. I can’t let that happen again._

* * *

 

There were many things Akira went through – over his life, but mostly the last year – when he felt afraid.

Being captured, drugged and beaten by the police was one of them. Waiting to see if their – rather risky – plan would work out, and whether he would be sitting in the cell until Sae came to get him or if it will be Akechi Goro entering the dark room, ready to shoot him in the head was another. Going into the depths of Mementos was scary. Fighting the Grail was terrifying. But seeing his friends and the man he loved disappearing off the face of the Earth all around him was more than he could mentally bear.

Even as he has awakened in the Velvet Room after disappearing himself, even as he has been forced to fight again, to make an impossible choice that tore his heart apart, the weight was still on him. Seeing Goro there, reaching to him through the bars lifted it momentarily; only for the burden to fall onto his shoulders again when he saw Goro step away from him; still cold, still rejecting him, even as he confessed to have seen Akira _want_ to let the world burn if it meant he could be with him.

The raven stopped blaming Goro, really. Perhaps it was only to be expected. Goro made clear he didn’t want them to be anything but friends; and it was Akira, and Akira alone that tried to read into it more, tried to push himself onto the former detective.

And so, he backed off; turned into the leader they all needed him to be, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how unbearably heavy it was. They found the rest of the Phantom Thieves and for the second time, Akira felt the burden lighten up a bit; only to be stuck down once again.

For, for him, there was no respite. No time to think, no time to calm down. They have been sent forward once more; up, up to the disfigured, terrifying world Shibuya has become now, up the stairway to heaven made of bloody, slippery bones of creatures humanity better remained ignorant of. With angels stepping in their way; with every single beat of Akira’s heart telling him how futile it all was, and yet forbidding him from stopping, because his friends were all there, because _Goro_ was there, and if he couldn’t protect the world, they will disappear again. Akira forced his way forward, never looking back; but with every step, he felt weaker, not able to carry this responsibility for much longer. He didn’t even know if what awaited him if he did was worth it, in truth. After all, once the world returns to normal; it will all return to what it once was, won’t it..?

Suddenly, the Holy Grail’s proposal felt more tempting than it ever did back there; and Akira wondered if he will ever, truly regret not taking it.

Now it was over, though. They had to fight. With a plan in place this time, Akira had to step up and be the leader his friends needed. Haru has cut the veins in the damn cup; and without it healing itself after their every attack, they slowly but surely started to win. Little by little; bleeding and hurt, they all pressed on. Little by little… they were about to…

 _Of course it would not be this simple_.

The sudden blast pushing them to the ground; and the Holy Grail shifting, raising, _growing_ ; its already enormous form turning into a monstrosity of an angel; the god of control, Yaldabaoth. As the damn thing kept growing before his eyes, Akira felt himself losing hope. He fought, still, more desperately and persistently than any of them; he pressed on, no matter how many hits he has taken, no matter how many aces this cheating god kept pulling out of his sleeves. But even he couldn’t endure every blast of energy and every hit raining down at them.

His helplessness, his responsibility; he couldn’t bear the weight of them anymore.

Akira looked to his sides, hiding his desperation deep within his heart. His friends; his precious friends were all barely holding up, too. Makoto and Ann were slumped against one another, breathing heavily. Haru was being tended to by Morgana after receiving a particularly heavy blow. Ryuuji and Yusuke were in the back, trying to catch their breath in the small break between attacks they were granted, and Goro…

 _Goro_.

Even looking at him felt painful now. Akira caught his eye even so; and smiled bitterly. His friend; his lover; was standing right beside him, though he, too, was barely holding up.

“…this won’t work.” Goro’s voice was breathless, raw with desperation. He looked at Akira, searching, reaching his hand to him. The raven took it, not even knowing why; feeling the warmth of him, feeling his closeness.

“…it will.” he felt himself say, willing himself to believe it. There, at the end of the world, here they stood; hand in hand, against the universe. The thought made him smile genuinely for what had to be the first time in hours.

“Joker, we need to regroup… we’re barely holding up…” Makoto’s voice was raspy and quiet. Ann shook her head, smiling up bravely at them from her place.

“No… we can do it, I know we can, we just need to press onwards!”

“Joker…”

“We need…”

He looked at all of them; Goro’s hand tightening on his own forearm. And then, he felt a sudden pull; and his friends disappeared from Akira’s view, because it was now filled with Goro. All the desperation, all the helplessness, it’s been wiped clean from his mind with how close to brown-haired boy was to him now, the hand in white, leather glove coming up to touch his cheek.

“…we need to fight it, Akira.” he heard Goro whisper, lost in the other’s crimson eyes. “We can’t stop. No matter what, we need to fight.”

_Fight._

All around them; it was as if someone had opened the door to a huge concert hall. Screams of support; cheers; yells of the people who believed in them, who had their hope in them. And Goro’s eyes; wine-red and bright and soft.

 _Fight_.

“So don’t give up now.”

Their lips pressed together; hard, desperate and perfect. Akira’s senses filled with the scent of Goro, with his touch; with the words they whispered to each other once, with the love that burnt bright deep in his heart, and now came forth full force, enveloping him in a flame…

A flame that, quite literally, burst in between them, red and blue mixing once more to the sound of shattering chains and their Personas’ cackle as they mixed and melded, truly, properly this time. There were no longer two of them; they stood as one, facing the false god with their friends falling around them. It was in one voice they called, reaching their hands out, feeling the power of everyone’s belief surging through them.

_“Come… Satanael!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you very much for being patient with me! Starting today, we are back on regular update schedule with this story. Thank you for bearing with me!
> 
> Thanks to Nate, as usual. Without you, this chapter would have been so very much worse. 
> 
> Next update on July 24th!
> 
> If you enjoy my story, please hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


	9. The Truth Bared Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world has been saved, and amidst the falling snow, Goro and Akira have the conversation they should have had months ago.

The snow was falling over Shibuya.

It was a rare enough thing, to have a snowfall right for Christmas; and it should be filling them all with wonder and glee. And yet the Phantom Thieves, as they parted on the station square, and Akira and Goro in particular were silent and walking a good distance apart from one another. Akira started to walk home rather than taking the train, and Goro followed, head down, only exchanging a silent look with Sae as they passed her on their way.

They were both cold, and the snow melting in their hair was making them damp by the time Goro finally gathered enough courage to speak.

“…Akira, I…”

“…can you not talk to me right now?”

The raven’s voice was quiet; but that didn’t keep the raw hurt from it, and Goro felt himself grimace, falling a little behind as he let out a long sigh.

He didn’t blame Akira for being angry at him. For all the pushing him away Goro has done, for all the intentional, although not willing hurt he subjected the raven to, him tricking them into fusing Satanael by kissing him was a low move, even by Goro’s standards.

It would have been easier if not for Morgana disappearing. Losing his best friend and source of comfort the same day everything else went down left Akira broken, and Goro wasn’t sure how to pick up the pieces; or if it was even possible for him, of all people, to do so. And he will be hurting him again, soon. Goro sighed, wrapping his arms around himself. Akira’s anger was a much more taxing opponent than Yaldabaoth ever could be, but even that was preferable to Akira’s _pain_.

“…I’m sorry.” he had said, quietly, because this was all he could do right now. This was all he could offer. An apology.

“Seriously…” Akira sighed, stopping and turning to face Goro. In the dim light of the evening, illuminated by the streetlights, Akira’s face was hidden in shadow; but Goro could still see what his expression was, and it made him flinch.  

“… _sorry?_ That’s all you got?”

“Well, I _am_ sorry for doing what I did.” Goro looked away. “It was… Akira, it was the only way, I…”

“ _The only way_? The only way your brilliant mind could think of to defeat that thing was to _kiss me_? After being so very thorough about rejecting me, Goro?”

“…I’m not _proud_ of myself for it or anything. It’s just… We needed to fuse our Personas again. We _had to._ And… Back then, in Shido’s Palace… it was right after I took a hit meant for you. You pulling me up, us standing there together; our goals, our mindsets aligned completely, _that’s_ what triggered the fusion. I knew we had to replicate that, but, admittedly through my own fault, our mindsets differed greatly this time. And you… you looked like you were about to give up. I _had to_ try something! And… well, it _did_ work, didn’t it?”

Akira shook his head at him, looking hurt and vulnerable, as if he couldn’t believe he was saying all that. Goro rubbed the bridge of his nose, shuddering when a cold drop of water dripped from his hair under his collar, running unpleasantly down his neck. Gods, he was so tired… _And_ embarrassed, and ashamed. He didn’t want to play with Akira’s emotions like this; it was never his intention to do so. The decision to keep fighting; to kiss him and trigger their fusion, bringing Satanael’s now full, powerful form into this world; it was all a logical choice in that situation, but it was not something he _should_ have done, regardless.

“…I wasn’t angry you kissed me, you know.” Akira said quietly, and Goro hated the soft, tired voice he said it in. “We… did need this. I… back then, I was… The truth is, I almost let myself give up. I let myself believe we didn’t stand a chance after all. After… seeing you all disappear, I…” he shook his head, shoulders shaking now.

“I know. I saw all of it, Akira.” Goro said quietly, nearing the raven almost against himself. He couldn’t help it; Akira was hurt, and he had to, needed to comfort him; no matter how much he shouldn’t.

“I guess what _does_ make me angry is that it was a means to an end for you. That kissing me… was just a strategic move.” Akira continued, and Goro looked down, feeling guilt and shame gnawing at him. He let out a long sigh and hid his face in his hands.

“…I’m sorry.” he said quietly.

“For kissing me, or tricking me? Or both?”

“I…” Goro sighed again, shaking his head. “Akira, I know it’s hard for you to believe at this point, but… I didn’t mean to hurt you. _Or_ use you.”

The raven looked away from him, with an expression that told Goro he has not been entirely believed.

“Akira, I…”

“ _Stop._ Just… stop with the apologies, with the excuses, just stop it. Just tell me, simple and plain; if you are so _against_ us being together, if all you want between us is friendship, how come the one thing you thought to do to _align our minds together_ was to kiss me? Because I’m no detective, but even I can see there is something wrong with this. Just… _please_ , tell me what this all means. I don’t think I have the strength to dig under it by myself anymore.”

“…I never said I was against it.”

Akira stared at him for a long while; he could see the boy hesitating. And then, Akira took a step closer, and Goro didn’t move away, looking into these pained, silver eyes. _How do I make it better? How do I make you understand?_

“…explain it to me, then. When you said all you wanted from me was to be your friend… that, and nothing else… did you mean it?”

“I certainly… didn’t want to mean it.” Goro said quietly, only to see Akira’s frown deepen.

“Well, that’s a no-answer.”

“Akira, I… Couldn’t you try to understand me? This life… Living a life after having my revenge on Shido, it has never even crossed my mind. I resigned myself to the knowledge that I will either die or go to prison, and that will be the end of me. But ever since I have gotten that second chance… ever since you turned up, you have made me make… plans, and connections, and think about the future I didn’t know I could have. But…”

“I heard in some movie that everything said before a but is bullshit.”

“…can I continue, or are there some more clever comebacks you’re going to throw at me?”

“…sorry.”

Goro sighed, and looked away with a deep frown.  

“I don’t think I deserve to be with you. _Stop_ interrupting me, let me finish.” he raised his hand, just in time to stop Akira from protesting what he had just said. Goro took in a long breath before starting to speak once more.

“I am a killer. I can’t just pretend what I did never happened, and neither can you lot, the Phantom Thieves. It isn’t a question of whether or not you’re forgiving or understanding enough, I understand that it is not my place to tell you how to feel about me by now. It is solely my problem. I… don’t think I can allow myself to be with someone… _especially_ with you… before I feel I somehow repented for what I’ve done.”

“And what do you think of doing, in a way of repenting?” Akira asked quietly after a long moment of silence.

“I plan to testify against Shido.”

Goro knew this will be shocking news; and he wasn’t wrong. Akira stared at him with wide eyes. It took the raven a moment to form coherent words again.

“Didn’t Sae say we don’t need to testify…? And with us shifting the public opinion, it’s not a problem anymore, right? Besides… if you go there and make a case against Shido, that means…”

“That means that I would need to confess to my own crimes, yes.” Goro finished, his expression calm as he faced Akira’s surprise. “As for Sae-san… We had a little chat, before we set out to Mementos. I know better than anyone that this man left no marks behind himself. Her case would rest upon the existence of the Metaverse… which we can’t access anymore… and Shido’s confession, which could and will be written off as anything from breaking under stress or coerced statement. She needs  a witness… and who’s better than myself?”

“But… you will be tried, too.”

“Yes, I believe I will. Of course, I’m a minor; and the evidence against me faces the same problems as evidence against Shido does, there is none apart from our statements. As such, I should at least be spared the death penalty. Even so…”

“Yeah, I’m not letting that happen. I won’t let you do this.”

Goro finally looked up at the raven; just as he had expected, he didn’t much like what he saw. Akira was frowning deeply; his hands clenched in anger this time. Still, the former detective did not let that bother him. He has made this decision long ago; he didn’t plan on telling it all to Akira, true, but now that it happened, he was not turning back.

“I believe as of today, you are not my leader anymore. As such, I take no more orders from you.” the older boy said calmly.

“Goro, if you think I’m going to let you just…”

“Repent for my crimes? Do the one thing I want to do, one thing that would help me at least face the guilt I feel over what I have done?”

Ah, now _he_ was getting angry. Why couldn’t Akira see, why couldn’t he understand Goro needed to do this? Why couldn’t he realize that what the former detective did was not something he – or any of his friends – had the power to forgive? He _had to_ be judged, had to be recognized a villain and had to repent. If he were lucky, there might be a life for him yet that he could come back to; or start, after he came out from serving his sentence.

And yet, here Akira was; trying to get him to hide and live a normal life, as if he was just another one of them, just another victim, just another hero. He _couldn’t_ do that.

“ _Fine_ ,” Akira snapped at him, nearing him even more, silver eyes burning. “I’ll at least make sure they know the full story. I’ll testify, too, and you bet your ass that it’s going to be in your favour.”

“Be my guest.” Goro replied, no less venomously. “I can just see how the heroic leader of the Phantom Thieves who just saved the world being tried would make Shido’s hired assassin look in comparison.”

Akira took in a sharp breath, and Goro let himself smile mockingly. Ah, he understood now, huh? Well, it was one of his better plans, if he had to say so himself. _Checkmate, Joker_.

“…you little shit. You planned this.”

“Well, it doesn’t require a genius to see that having you there to compare against, my crimes will look thrice as terrible. I admit I was hoping this will be enough to make you sit quietly and not do anything stupid.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to keep you out of jail. The last time I checked, you were still on probation.”

“Screw my probation! You died for your crimes already, why do you need to go to jail for them, too?”

Goro was silent for a while after that; he looked away before speaking again, and this time, he wasn’t able to completely hide the pain from his voice.

“…of course you wouldn’t understand. It’s just so simple for you, isn’t it? You like me, you’ve forgiven me, so there is no way I deserve any more punishment. No matter what, you always just go with your own justice…” Goro sighed quietly, shaking his head. Ah, there was the exhaustion again.

“I plan on turning myself in tomorrow. I promised Boss I’ll stay here for Christmas, after all.”

“…promised _Boss_ , have you.”

“Believe me, if not for that, I’d have already been on my way to the police station. ”

“I fucking hate you.”

 “…I suppose it might have been easier. If you did.”

Goro’s voice was quiet and soft; his eyes downcast once again, his long bangs hiding them from view.

“You do realize all of this is why… why I can’t be in a relationship with you, Akira, even if by some strange misjudgement you still want me. It isn’t fair towards you, for me to lead you on and then just… disappear for god knows how many years. I shouldn’t have allowed what we already had to happen. I can’t be tying you down like that. You are welcome to hate me, or forget me. But I will not allow you to think of me as… as someone more than just a friend.”

“…that’s it, then? That’s the reason why you pushed me away..? Why you still do?”

“Yes.”

Akira sighed. He seemed to be processing all of that has been said, and the former detective found it was nothing short of fascinating, watching different expressions run through the raven’s handsome features. He seemed thoughtful, then he was frowning and finally, there was… _relief_ …? Amusement, even.

“You know…” Akira sighed finally, before reaching his hand out to take Goro’s own. The older boy looked at him in surprise, but didn’t let go, only looking at Akira questioningly.

“…for a former ace detective, you’re really kind of stupid at times, Goro.”

_…wait, what?_

Goro knew he had to look stupid at the moment. He believed he did. He couldn’t help it, though; simply staring at Akira and blinking at him as he tried to process what the raven had just said and how did it tie up to everything they were talking about, and why was Akira looking so smug and… and _happy_ , all of a sudden.

“If you don’t want us to be in a relationship right now, that’s okay. I will respect your feelings in that matter, however _stupid_ the reason for them is. But if you think, for a moment, that I’m going to just forget you… that I won’t battle with every ounce of strength I have to get you out, or get your sentence as reduced as humanely possible… and moreover, if you think that no matter how long you will be locked up I won’t wait for you and welcome you right back into my arms, you really are stupid.”

…yeah, okay, _no_. What was the raven saying? What the hell? Goro pulled his hand away and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not happening. He did all he did up to this point, said all he had said for the specific purpose of Akira _not_ feeling about him this way. Why did he have to just go and get it all wrong all over again..?

“…are you an idiot?”

“Possibly.”

“Akira, you don’t understand, I can’t…”

“Yeah, you can go on and on how you don’t want to tie me down before disappearing, and I’m going to call bullshit all the same. Look, I…” Akira looked away, frowning, a deep blush slowly spreading over the boy’s cheeks and ears; still, he continued to talk.

“You’ve felt it the same way I did. Our fusion. It… that feeling, it’s as if…”

“…as if our souls themselves melted together.” Goro finished quietly, even as he was still frowning, unsure where Akira was going with this.

“…yes. I never knew there could be a feeling such as this. Breaking away from you afterwards, it felt almost unbearable, not being one with you anymore. How can you tell me I’m free to hate you, or to forget you..? You, whom I shared a soul with… Don’t you see that from that moment, it was only you and me..? Can you imagine there being anyone else? Even if each of us found someone else to be with, it’ll always feel inferior to the bond we shared back there. A bond we still share, in some way, unless I am very much mistaken. You are… truly… the other half of me. The other Wild Card, the other side of the coin. When we met the first few times, you kept going on about how it had to be fate pulling us together, and I agree. And if fate itself is set on us being together, then I hardly think few years away from each other make much of a difference.”

“…Akira. That’s… We _can’t_ …”

“Do you not feel the same way, then?”

Goro bit his lip, before looking away. It took him a bit to gather himself up for an answer; still, they both knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth to say it.

“…I feel the same. Only… I didn’t think you would, too. I thought I was the only one.”

Akira simply shook his head at him. Well… Goro supposed he deserved that. For someone with narcissistic streak quite this pronounced, he had a record-low self-esteem, hadn’t he…?

“You can make the decision to testify and get yourself locked up. As much as I hate it, I can’t stop you. But… only just knowing these feelings are mutual, I have the freedom of making the decision of what to do with them. And I decided, a long time ago.”

“…what if I still don’t want to make this an official relationship..? Or an unofficial one?”

“Well, we have one day left. I do believe I can pretend to be just your friend for one day more.”

Goro stared at Akira for a long time, until finally, as if he finally gave up, he laughed and shook his head.

“…you’re still…”

“ _Incomprehensible_?”

“…an ass.”

Akira snorted, and Goro laughed with him. Slowly, the tension between them dropped; and for the first time in days, they were able to look at each other without awkwardness and without hurt. There was a strong bond of understanding between them; one that made both of them think of dark-purple flames and chains shattering; one that made both of them shudder.

“So… normal Christmas.” Goro finally said, and Akira nodded, gently catching his hand once more, squeezing it.

“A normal day… well, with Sojiro and Futaba, so how normal is it going to be will depend on the circumstances.”

“Ah, yes, I’m very much curious about what Futaba got me.”

“Oh?”

Goro smiled lightly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“She was going on and on about _doing some digging_ , and seemed to be extremely excited about something, but when I asked, she said it will be my Christmas gift.”

Akira hummed lightly, before blinking as if realization just dawned on him.

“…wait. These bags you got ages ago… they’re Christmas gifts!”

Goro stared at the raven for a moment, before letting out a sigh.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Hey, that’s my line!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I am happy to say that I have finally finished writing The Spider's Thread, and as you have voted on twitter, the rest of the chapters will be now posting twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays ^^ Thank you to everyone who voted in the poll!
> 
> Thanks to Nate, my wonderful beta.
> 
> Next update on July 27th!
> 
> If you enjoy my story, please hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


	10. Before You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Goro has to go, he spends Christmas Eve together with Akira, Futaba and Sojiro.

They entered Leblanc together; Goro’s hand held tightly in Akira’s. The detective didn’t feel like arguing against them holding hands on their last day together, and last Christmas Eve. Once Akira had accepted his decision and in turn asked Goro to accept his own, there was hardly any need for pretence anymore.  

They were welcomed by Futaba and Sojiro, one sitting on her usual place by the counter, the other standing behind it, smiling at them as they entered. They were about to start celebrating; but beforehand, the boys excused themselves, both in need of a change of clothes; plus, Goro really needed to get his gifts finally dislodged from Akira’s shelf so that he could give them all out. Akira opted for a shower, and by the time he came out of it, Goro was down in Leblanc with Futaba and Sojiro, wearing a rather dorky sweater and drinking a cup of coffee, smiling up at Sojiro as they chatted together easily. The picture felt homely; and Akira felt warmth spreading throughout him as he slipped into one of the chairs by the counter, even if it was a bittersweet feeling. He shook the thought out of his head and nudged Goro with his elbow.

“Nice sweater.”

“Shut up.” the former detective huffed, before smiling up at Sojiro, who was looking over a pack of luxurious coffee beans. “I hope it won’t be too bad. I really am not that well-informed about coffee, but…”

“No, no, I always wanted to try these, actually.” Sojiro hummed, smiling down at him. “You didn’t need to, kid.”

“I feel like I really did need to.” Goro replied with a smile. “As a thank you for all the kindness you have shown me, if nothing else.”

Futaba turned on her stool with a pout, facing them. She was quiet – tired from their battles in the Metaverse just as they were – but she still somehow managed to cheer up the atmosphere of the room with her voice alone.

“Gorooooooo, where’s my gift?” she whined, rocking on her stool.

“Well, I offered we swap them, Futaba-chan, and you wouldn’t agree, so now you’re not getting anything.” Goro teased, only to chuckle as Akira leaned against his side and set a row of boxes on the counter.

He gave one to Sojiro – a small box containing his filled-in journal he had gotten from the older man months ago – one to Futaba – with a brand-new game controller he knew she was dying to get her hands on – and one to Goro. The former detective looked at the neatly-wrapped box somewhat nervously before starting to unwrap it while Sojiro and Futaba thanked Akira and gave him their gifts back – a dorky sweater and Wakaba’s curry recipe from the two of them. Still, it was Goro Akira was looking at even as he unwrapped his own gifts and teared up at them; and he wasn’t disappointed. The older boy looked at the small photo album, turning the pages briefly. It was filled with pictures of them; of the Phantom Thieves together, of Akira and Goro brewing coffee at Leblanc, of Goro yelling at laughing Akira, of him together with Futaba on their trip to Shibuya, of Sojiro teaching him how to brew a perfect cup… Goro slowly closed the album, clutching it in his hands before looking at him with watery eyes; and that was the best thanks Akira could imagine.

“Okay, but where’s _my_ gift?” Futaba pouted, making the older boy chuckle as the both of them got pulled out of the moment. He took out a small, but beautiful box he stashed behind the counter, holding it just outside of Futaba’s reach.

“Do I get mine, too?”

“Tch, cheater! But, fine!” she grumbled and jumped up, snatching her gift and tearing it open while they laughed, her eyes shining as she pulled out a limited-edition director’s cut of her latest favourite game.

“But… they stopped selling these!”

“I am a detective, you know. Finding out things no one else knows is my job.” Goro winked, leaning on the counter and smiling at her; only to frown in confusion when Futaba smiled and set down her game carefully on the table before taking out a formal-looking envelope from her pocket and sliding it towards Goro.

“…I hadn’t opened it, you know.” she murmured quietly as the boy picked it up; only to freeze when he saw the address of the sender. “You don’t need to, either. I did some digging on my own, and I’m pretty sure without seeing the results.”

“…you’re joking.”

“I’m not.” the girl mumbled. Sojiro and Akira exchanged confused looks while Futaba and Goro stared at one another; the girl shyly, the detective in shock. “I mean, mum worked for the government at the right time, and the only guy she was in frequent enough contact then, before meeting Sojiro, was him. Dates check out, too, and we have the same blood type. Moreover, our ears are the same shape. That’s… a pretty impossible coincidence, unless…”

“…unless…” Goro mumbled, closing his eyes. He tried to keep calm, they could see that; and even so, he looked like he was about to cry; and not in a bad way. Slowly and very gently he set the envelope down. Both Sojiro and Akira leaned in to see it better; and both of them gasped in shock as well.

_Shibuya University Hospital  
Section 20 DNA Testing_

“…I have a sister.” the detective whispered, looking at Futaba, before his eyes watered once again and he sat down on the stool heavily, hiding his face in his hands. The girl looked at him with a little smile.

“Aren’t you going to open it?”

Goro hesitated, before looking up at her; a soft, almost shy smile stretching his lips as his still-wet eyes shone in quiet wonder.

“…that depends. Do you need this result..? Or would you… accept someone like me as your brother, as terrible a person as I am, without it?” he said quietly. “I… never… I never had a family, after my mother. To think I could have one… I’d rather not know if there’s even a little chance it’s wrong. So, if you’ll have me…”

Futaba grinned, and Goro let out a soft, relived laugh. His shoulders shook as the tears finally spilled over. Sojiro rubbed the back of his head and murmured something, before smiling and patting the boy’s back, and Akira felt strange tenderness come over him. He was the part of this family, too, after all. And without him realizing it, seeing Goro welcomed into it made him extremely happy.

Futaba looked teary by now, as well; but she still grinned as she leaned closer, looking at Goro with intent eyes.

“Guess I’m calling you _Nii-chan_ from now on~!”

 

* * *

 

Goro was seated on the floor, his eyes half-closed as he let himself relax while Akira’s gentle fingers ran through his wet hair, combing through them. It was late in the evening already, and they were just back from a walk through the Christmas illumination they went on as a family. It ended up being a quiet, happy evening; with Futaba not leaving the former detective’s side, with Sojiro looking at the three of them with proud, kind eyes. At some point, Goro explained his decision to both Futaba and Sojiro; they weren’t happy, and Akira wasn’t surprised they were not, but they respected it. Futaba especially seemed to take it rather hard that the brother she found after fifteen years of living unaware of one another will disappear for who knew how long the next day.

And now, as they sat in the attic, full, warm and comfortable in their matching ugly sweaters, Akira made an off-hand comment about Goro’s hair being all messy and here they ended up, relaxing in the mundane activity.

“…what’s with that look?” Goro hummed after a moment, tilting his head backwards to look at Akira, upside-down. The raven smiled down at him brightly.

“…just thinking how nice you look in your new sweater. It’s an upgrade from the immortal sweater vest, at least.”

Goro scoffed in annoyance, and Akira couldn’t help but grin.

“Delightful as always, I see.” he spat venomously, before smoothing over his sweater. “It was a gift, and you’re wearing a matching one. It would be rude not to wear it.”

“Rude, my ass. You love that sweater.”

“Shut up.”

Goro sighed, and Akira smiled as he watched him. Only now did he realize the older boy was holding something in his hands since they sat down; something he handed him once he noticed Akira look at it.

“…I never gave you your Christmas gift.” Goro explained. It was a small, square package, neatly wrapped, and Akira smiled and started to unwrap it immediately; only to frown and look up in confusion when the box turned up to be empty.

He met Goro’s amused eyes and the next moment, the detective’s bare, hesitant hand cupped Akira’s cheek.

“…can I?” he said quietly, almost shyly. “As a Christmas gift.”

Ah… was this really what Akira thought it was? The raven blinked before setting away the empty box, nodding quietly. The kiss was sweet, if brief; and with it, Akira felt all of his hurt and frustration from before melt away. His hands rested gently on Goro’s waist as the older boy sat up when they kissed. Soon, their lips parted, but their foreheads pressed together, and there was no pain nor dissatisfaction between them. It was just one, sweet moment they will both hide deep within their hearts and treasure; and it meant nothing beyond what they both already knew and what they both made peace with.

“…that’s a nice gift.” Akira murmured with a smile. “What if I refused, though?”

“Ah, then you’d get what was originally in that box.” Goro grinned lightly and pulled away, taking a small, thin book in a beautiful bookcase and giving it to the raven.

“I suppose you’re still getting that, though.”

Akira chuckled and opened the little volume curiously. It was a short story by Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, in a rather luxurious edition, with illustrations, author’s note and interpretation in it. The novel was titled _The Spider’s Thread_ , and the title rang a bell in Akira’s mind. He read it before; for class, most likely. He knew how the story went. And there, on the first page, there was a dedication in Goro’s neat handwriting.

 _Joker,_  
You have given me the thread to climb on. I will not allow it to break.  
Until we meet again,  
Crow

“…thank you.” Akira said, slowly closing the book, delicately setting it down on his lap. For a moment, there was a silence between them; and then…

“…you’ll go in the morning?” Akira murmured quietly, and Goro hummed back, nodding.

“Yes. I called Sae-san already. She’ll come pick me up.”

“I see…”

Akira sighed, his hands moving to wrap more around Goro, pulling him closer. He felt no resistance; indeed, the boy leaned into his touch.

“…anything I can say to make you reconsider..?” he tried gently, even as he knew it was futile. Goro sighed and leaned back, his eyes meeting Akira’s own.

“…I’m sorry, Akira. This is something I have to do.”

“…yes. I know.”

Goro closed his eyes again, and Akira’s hands wandered once more; trailing the detective’s handsome features with his fingertips. Perhaps he could learn them by heart like that… all of a sudden, Akira felt _scared_. Tomorrow, Goro will be taken to testify. Tomorrow, he will be arrested and put on trial, and none of them will be able to help, since them testifying, even in his defence, will only make matters worse. Tomorrow, he’ll disappear, and who knows for how long… and what if, no matter how much he fought it, Akira will forget him..? What if he forgets the soft lines of his face, the sweet taste of his lips, the genuine, sweet look his eyes had? The thought was unbearable.

“Can I kiss you again?” he whispered, and Goro looked up at him with eyes sad and filled with understanding. Ah… he felt this, too, didn’t he. The dread… and the hopelessness and fear. Goro was probably afraid of being forgotten the same way Akira was afraid of forgetting him.

“It’ll only make things more difficult, you know.” he said quietly, and Akira sighed, nodding slowly. Yes, of course he knew that.

“I still want to kiss you.”

“…I know. I want this, too… but even so, let’s not. I will sleep on the couch tonight, too. It’ll be hard enough to leave… I’d rather not have to slip away from your arms in the morning.”

“Won’t you wake me up?”

Goro sighed, and shook his head.

“It’s unbearable enough as it is to say goodbye to you once.”

“Then _don’t_.”

“I can’t.”

“…I know.”

 

* * *

 

Akira kept saying he will definitely wake up before him on that day; he kept going on about how he’s going to make him one last coffee and try out the curry recipe her received from Sojiro the day before. Goro didn’t believe him, and as he sat on the edge of the raven’s bed, watching him sleep, he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. Akira was many things, but early bird was not one of them.

He really was leaving. He had packed the few things he will need; not surprised at how little there were, in the end. Yet this; standing up from his spot, tearing his eyes away from Akira’s sleeping form was the hardest.

For a long while still, Goro watched Akira’s restless sleep. He had some kind of a taxing dream; not a nightmare, but close. The former detective had a sinking feeling he knew what he might be dreaming about. All the more reason not to wake him, and make his dreams reality. Goro sighed quietly, hiding his face in his hands. For all of his  planning and all of his care to stop this from happening, Akira was still going to end up miserable because of him. And yet…

He didn’t want him to be in love with an unrepentant murderer. Goro wanted, more than anything else, to become a better person for Akira. Allowing the objective rule of the law to pass a sentence over him, serving it without complaint and eventually achieving his freedom was, in his mind, the only way to go. His own justice will not permit him to go on unpunished; and if he could condemn Shido while at it, why would he hesitate..?

Goro smiled sadly, leaning in and pressing a sweet, gentle kiss to Akira’s forehead before standing up.

“…I wish we had met several years ago, Joker.” he whispered quietly, repeating the words he has uttered once before. “Perhaps, in another life… we could have been friends, even lovers, right from the start.”

He allowed himself one last, lingering look at Akira’s sleeping face before turning around and walking towards the stairs, grabbing his bag while at it. How easy it would be, he thought, to just go back; undress and slip under the blankets; cradle Akira in his arms until the raven’s restless dreams has been chased away and pretend, for one day more, that nothing existed but the two of them. And yet, Goro couldn’t do this. For the first time in his life, he was doing exactly what he felt he should be doing, and he was taking control of his own fate. He even allowed himself to _hope_ …

Downstairs, Sojiro and Futaba were waiting already, as was Sae. Goro smiled at them, his eyes softening as he looked at Futaba, who seemed to be still pouting at him. He understood she might be angry at him; then again, it’s not like in any of his plans and decisions did he think about the possibility of leaving not just Akira, but a long-lost sister behind. Still, she gave him a teary smile and chatted with him with a slightly forced cheer as he ate his curry and drunk his coffee before signalling to Sae he was ready to go. Sojiro stopped him by the door as his sister sniffled by the counter after saying her goodbye.

“…it’s the right thing to do, kid.” Sojiro said quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder, and Goro looked up at him in surprise. “A bloody stupid one, but the right thing to do. Just so you know… once you get out… there’s always place for you here. We’ll be waiting.”

Ah, damn… and here he thought he was doing so well, not letting himself cry. Goro found he had no words left; and only nodded shakily, before turning and slipping into the car Sae has previously disappeared in, wiping his tears angrily while she politely pretended not to notice. And then, the car started and left, and Goro Akechi disappeared from the labyrinth of alleyways he called home for the last few months, leaving his family behind.

 

* * *

 

The creaking of the stairs was what betrayed him. Akira could see the car disappear, and let out a soft sigh as he saw Futaba and Sojiro look at him in surprise, their eyes still moist, just as his own had been.

“…he’s gone, then.” the raven said. It wasn’t really a question.

Akira slowly neared the counter and slipped into one of the chairs. In the sombre silence that fell between the three of them, the sounds of Sojiro preparing coffee were the only ones he could focus on. Finally, Akira straightened up on his chair and looked at Futaba; the resignation and misery gone, and the old energy; the same one he used to exude when discussing their next mission; shone in his eyes.

“…Futaba, call everyone here.” he said quietly, and that was enough for the girl to perk up as well.

“I know he went on and on about how us testifying would only make it worse, but there _has to_ be something we can do. A lot we can do. We’ll need to start working on it from get-go, though, all of us.”

Even as he was speaking, Futaba started to grin; her reddish from crying eyes lighting up with old mischief as she already started to type away at her phone.

“I already have some ideas… I’ll do some digging. You’re right; we’ll organize him the best defence he could ever ask for.” she grinned, and Akira felt himself grin back. Sojiro looked between the two of them with a smile and chuckled to himself. Taking a sip of his coffee, Akira closed his eyes, his mind now working on full capacity.

“I’m not letting that guy spend the rest of his life in prison. No way. Not on my watch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and as always, thanks to Nate, my wonderful beta.
> 
> Next update on July 31st!
> 
> If you enjoy my story, please hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


	11. Atonement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of letters flow between Leblanc and an undisclosed location in which Goro is being kept for the time being.

_Crow,_

_God, it’s so good to be able to contact you somehow again. Thanks for letting us have your address. I… I didn’t think being unable to reach you anyhow would be quite as bad. Ah, I’m rambling from the start, am I not? Sorry about that. I guess I’m just bad at writing letters. I’ll get better, though, in time._

_So… how are you? Here, everyone is more or less okay. We were quite surprised when Sae-san visited Leblanc today. Makoto gave us some brief info about you; how you asked to testify and how Sae-san put you into witness protection program. I hadn’t thought of it, but I’m glad she did. I want you safe, and as she had said, there are a lot of people wanting to silence Shido and wanting to silence you; people we are unable to change hearts of anymore. I just hope you’ll be alright, and that you are safe and somewhere no harm can come to you._

_Sae-san promised she’ll keep us updated from now on, but I still want to hear everything from you, so… write to me, alright? I’ll be waiting. Sae-san promised to help us exchange letters and not read through them, and I’m gonna trust her on that one._

_The weeks after you’ve left were… pretty hard. We wanted to attend the preliminary hearing, but Sae-san advised us otherwise. Besides, she said that Shido’s trial might end up being closed to public, and so might your own. It’s so strange, being kept in the dark like this. Even so, we don’t let it get to us. The Phantom Thieves are all up and working to bust one of our own out, you know. We’re all still working on turning the public opinion in your favour. Have you seen? The articles Ohya wrote were the greatest help, I think; she was reluctant to do this, but she did agree that reporting the truth was important. Mishima did a good job, too, making the whole Phan-Site root for you, and even Yoshida-san helped a lot, discussing your case during one of his speeches. The trial is the talk of the town. You’ve became quite the tragic hero._

_I know this isn’t what you wanted. I know you’ll probably lecture me about allowing you to do what you decided on, but frankly… I’m going to be selfish here. I want you home. I want you at Leblanc. I never knew it could be this… lonely without you here. And, ever since you’ve left… I feel like I failed again._

_It has nothing to do with your decision. I said I’ll respect that, and I intend to. But… I feel like I should have worked harder. Made it easier. There are so many things I can’t forgive myself, and so many more I feel like I’m failing to do every day. And still, I keep fighting. I need to keep going, I know._

_Futaba is working tirelessly to get her big brother out, too. I know you requested Sae-san to give her the address as well, though she did seem a bit taken aback by the prospect of writing actual, paper letters. I’m sure she’ll give you a lot more details about our daily life and our last mission as the Phantom Thieves than I ever could. Ah, what else should I write..? Maybe it’s best I finish it right here. Write me back, alright?_

_I miss you.  
Joker_

* * *

 

_Joker,_

_How have you been? How is everyone? I apologize for not contacting you for so long. The last few weeks were hectic to say the least; quite unlike what I expected when I turned myself in, though a lot of what I’m about to tell you, you already seem to know._

_The same day I left, Sae-san put me in a strict witness protection program. I suppose I should have seen this coming; we have seen enough of Shido’s Palace to understand that his ties to yakuza and other despicable people were too extensive not to pose a threat. I am to be the key witness in his trial; Sae-san proposed me a deal of giving me preferential treatment in exchange for my cooperation. I… am still unsure. She is aware I will cooperate anyway; I cannot read her proposal as anything other than giving me a chance to further waive my own punishment. I have always trusted Sae-san’s judgement, and I am tempted… yet, is it something I should be taking advantage of here..?_

_I still consider myself a criminal in need to atone for my crimes. What I have done is inexcusable, and yet it feels like everyone around me is trying their best to make excuses for me, to help me get a lesser punishment. It’s… quite baffling. Sometimes, I wonder if I should simply allow others to help me, but then… how can I face Futaba-chan, Boss, how can I face Haru-san and the families of all the other people I hurt on Shido’s orders if I haven’t even repented..? And then… I suppose you know already Futaba is writing to me. She told me something… something I never really thought about before. Is going to prison really repenting on my part..?_

_Of course, I understand that nothing – whether it’s me going to prison or even being executed for my crimes – will bring life back to those I took it from. I realize this is the case. And yet, allowing an objective judgement to be passed over me, allowing myself to be punished according to the rule of law was the one justice I yearned to be done. If that is not enough… what should I do? Futaba-chan said she’d prefer me being there with her as her brother to me being in prison for having a hand in her mother’s death. In face of such a statement, is me wishing for a proper sentence in accordance to my crime… selfish..?_

_I apologize. It seems even while only writing to you, my thoughts keep wandering from the straight path. The preliminary hearing went well. I’m glad Sae-san didn’t let you attend it, though. You shouldn’t bring any more attention to yourself. If something were to happen to you because of a silly thing like this, I’d never forgive myself for it._

_Only in that courtroom, though, did I fully realize the kind of job you and the Phantom Thieves were doing on my behalf. Even without you there, the audience was full, and they were extremely supportive; most of them excessively so. I almost want to scold you for going this far, but I cannot find it in me to do so. Majorly because of the reasons I listed earlier, I don’t think I have the right to forbid you from doing all this._

_Thank you._

_As for myself… I have been well. Of course, I cannot tell you or give you an idea of where I currently am, for my own safety as well as yours. It isn’t bad, though. There are books I have access to, and I managed to write my final exams while in here, by Sae-san’s special leave. It is somewhat amusing to think I have received top grades right before being sent to prison. Still, study and reading seem to take my mind off things. I am kept in solitude, safe for Sae-san and the few people who are here to help with my daily needs. One would think I could easily get used to loneliness, having spent most of my life alone, but I find myself missing the time I spent in Leblanc, where that was never the case._

_Give my thanks and best wishes to each and every one of the Phantom Thieves, and everyone else you’ve enlisted to help me._

_Please, write to me again,  
Crow_

* * *

 

_Crow,_

_Take. Sae’s. Offer._

_Just take it. I don’t care what moral conflict you’re having over this, take it and be happy I’m not going over there yelling at the judge to let you go._

_…alright, so I do care what moral conflict are you having. What you wrote made me think, long and hard, about the kind of answer I should give you to it._

_You’re right that your going to prison is hardly doing anyone affected by Shido’s bullshit any good. To some, it may offer closure; but whether you’ll be sentenced to life or to a year, I think the thing that would matter to this kinds of people is that you have been sentenced at all, and that their hurt has been recognized. To others, you’re just as much a victim as any of them had been, and seeing you punished doesn’t mean a thing. To me, to Futaba and Boss, every day without you is painful._

_No matter how much you’d like to believe otherwise, justice is truly a subjective thing. There will always be people writing you off as a villain; and there will always be people judging you the tragic hero. For one of the first times in my life, I’m neither of them, but rather, I do not care about justice. I want to be selfish; and this “justice” that takes you away from me feels like no justice at all._

_Here, at Leblanc and otherwise, things were hectic recently. Sae-san and Makoto were in and out constantly, filling us in. They can’t tell us all – even Makoto doesn’t know all the details – but it’s still better than nothing. There are many more things on our minds now, too. Makoto and Haru are working hard to prepare for their entrance exams. Me, Ann, Ryuuji and Yusuke will soon be starting another school year, and there is the question of my probation ending by the start of the next semester. I have – rather unwillingly – spoken with my parents. They… were not very welcoming. Boss promised that if I so chose, I could stay and finish my high school in Shujin. The probation officer assigned to my case is in favour of that, too, since apparently there’s the whole “adapting to new environment” bullshit going on here and we wouldn’t want to disrupt it. My parents are happy as long as I’m not anywhere near them. To be completely honest, I’m happy with that arrangement, too. And… it also means that when you come back, I’ll be most likely still here. I could ask Boss if we could think of another bed on our attic…_

_…if we’ll be needing two beds, of course :)_

_Shido’s trial is quickly approaching. How are you holding up? Every time I ask Sae-san about you she tells me of another hearing, another questioning you had to endure. I can only imagine how tiring it has to be. Sae-san and Makoto are thinking of going under protection soon, too, as there have been direct threats to their well-being. From what I heard, Shido’s spilling a lot of names, and a lot of people are getting arrested. This is going to be the trial of the century. Sae-san says it’s good, though, that because the public’s outrage is on Shido and all the big-shot criminals around him, your case will be presented in better light thanks to that._

_Tell me more about how are you, though. Are they treating you well? I want to know you’re safe._

_Sometimes, I wish I could just slip into Metaverse again and come see you. You say you miss the time you spent at Leblanc… I miss it, too._

_Write back soon,  
Joker_

* * *

 

_Joker,_

_Please don’t come here and wreak havoc. I have accepted Sae-san’s offer, on her own insistence. She will progress my case with the consideration of my cooperation against Shido. I repeat, do not do anything stupid, or so help me I’m going to personally strangle you._

_…if you just thought of making some stupid and/or distasteful joke concerning that last sentence, keep it to yourself, please._

_What you’ve told me about my previous thoughts on justice and atonement is… quite in alignment to what I have come to realize on my own. We really seem to be in tandem, aren’t we..? It’s a relief to know that despite our differences, we can still understand each other and have meaningful conversations, even if just through letters._

_I’m sorry about your parents. Perhaps it is my own parental situation that makes me say it, or perhaps I am simply too protective over the man who seems to keep saving me, no matter what… but I am quite angry at them. They have no idea what they are losing, in pushing you away. I should feel pity, not fury, I suppose, but… Ah, sometimes I wish I could meet them, if only just to say in few choice words what I think of them._

_At least you have Boss and Futaba-chan. The best family you could ever want…_

_…well, and there is also me._

_On that note, I would be much obliged for another bed. The couch is quite uncomfortable, after all. Whatever that strange smiling face you stained the pure form of a letter with could mean, I wonder?_

_You have asked me to write you more about how am I… well, I suppose I am alright. The place I’m staying in is kept to a bare minimum needed to fulfil my needs, but that is alright. I have a place to sleep, sit and write; I have books and on occasion, I am even allowed to take walks or exercise. Stationary bicycle is somewhat lacking compared to actual cycling, and I do miss being able to go bouldering on the climbing wall there is in Shibuya, but I do not complain._

_I have been slowly working my way through the books available here. In many of them, I have taken to finding quotes and passages that carried special meaning to me, or even just ones I particularly liked. I have a small journal here, and I have found myself writing these down in it. Sometimes, while I read through my little book of quotes, I cannot help but notice they are all somehow connected to the overall theme of redemption. Perhaps it may sound conceited, given all the things I’ve done and all the grief I caused, but that is something I am currently yearning for. My very own dream._

_Speaking of dreams, I had quite an… unusual one last night. I have never told you about this, but it was the same kind of dream I had right after my death, and then again, once I have found myself in your attic, and my road towards redemption had begun. In that dream, I was standing in what I could only describe as void; and there was nothing, only me, a single spider’s thread laying under my feet and a single butterfly fluttering over my head. I have followed the thread in my dream; and last night, for the first time, it has led me somewhere. I saw you there, in your Joker outfit; and you were reaching your hand to me, the thread tangled on your glove. I took it, then, and you smiled at me; and that was when I woke up._

_I suppose that truly is it. You were the one who gave me the second chance. Not any gods and not myself. Only you._

_I wish I could see you, Joker. I wish I could talk with you, face to face. I wish I could tell you all the things I came to realize during these long hours of waiting and long hours of testifying and listening to the court. I wish I could tell you how sorry I am, and how much I regret my selfishness and my unwillingness to trust you. I wish I could tell you so many things._

_It’s funny, isn’t it. Before I have turned myself in, this was all I wanted. To be taken in, to testify, to bare my own crimes, to be judged and punished; to finally be able to atone. Now that I am in this process, and my mind has lost its previous focus, all I can think of is you; and how much I want to come back. How much I wish that, somehow, I will be allowed to come back to you, despicable as I am._

_That’s… quite an embarrassing letter I have written you this time, have I not. I’m afraid the lower-standards literature I have been trying out lately might have something to do with me growing sentimental._

_Say hello to everyone from me. By the time you receive my next letter, hopefully Shido’s trial will come to pass already._

_I will be waiting for your reply,  
Crow_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and as always, thanks to Nate!
> 
> Next update on August 3rd!
> 
> If you enjoy my stories, please hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


	12. Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The letters between Goro Akechi and Kurusu Akira; sent between the trials of Masayoshi Shido and Goro Akechi.

_Crow,_

_How are you doing..?_

_We’ve watched the trial on TV today. Everyone was there. You did so well… I had no idea what to expect, but you being this calm and collected, and yet so… fierce is the right word, I suppose? was not that. You truly were amazing. Everyone thought so._

_I had no idea what Futaba was planning. When the court asked if the prosecution had any more witnesses and Sae asked for Futaba, I thought both myself and Sojiro were going to have a heart attack. We had no idea she snuck out, or that she was working with Sae. Judging by your face there, you had no idea, either._

_What she said, though, was true. And she was so brave… the questions Sae asked her were so well thought-out, too. They’re both already working for your release, aren’t they? I… I was pretty shocked. It’s one thing for Futaba to be at ease enough to go somewhere alone, but for her to speak of her mother’s death in front of all these strangers… for her to be able to withstand all these questions… and to face Shido like that, tell him she’s most likely his daughter, and that she’ll never forgive him… that had to take a lot from her._

_She’s really fighting hard for you, isn’t she? Please, don’t be angry with her for that stunt. She really was the only one of the Phantom Thieves who could testify without pulling attention to themselves._

_As for the verdict… I… none of us knows how to feel about it. I mean… we all expected it to be a harsh sentence, but…_

_Are you okay?_

_Please, write to me soon.  
Joker_

* * *

 

_Joker,_

_I was about to send you a letter of my own the moment Sae-san arrived with yours, and so I had to actually sit down and rewrite my previous one. Namely, cross out all the passages in which I yelled at you for making Futaba do something quite like this. I… I suppose I should have seen she was fully capable of coming up with this scheme on her own, and I should have expected Sae-san to exploit that in favour of the both of us, but I still wish she had not. Futaba will now be branded the daughter of the greatest bastard Japan had seen in decades, and the sister of a killer. She will not be able to escape this brand for the rest of her life._

_If I could protect her from this, I wouldn’t hesitate; now, it is too late, and I can only be angry at myself for not foreseeing this, for allowing this to happen._

_Admittedly, her speech did work wonders. The hearings and questionings I’m attending right now have completely changed their tone. At this rate, I… am beginning to be hopeful. I hate myself for feeling like this, and at the same time, revel in the freedom of allowing myself to hope. I don’t want to talk about my prospects growing brighter for now. There is still time, and it’s still too early to say whether anything of the sort will even happen. And yet… there is hope._

_I… suppose this is not what you wanted me to talk about in this letter of mine, though, is it. Let me address the elephant in the room, then._

_Shido has been given death penalty._

_I… have no idea how do I feel about this._

_On one hand, I am… well, I cannot say happy, but there is intense satisfaction there. My mother will finally be avenged. You will be, too. So many people will get the justice they deserve. And I… I will finally be free._

_On the other, I am scared. There is strange finality in the thought that what I have worked so hard for all of my life, what I have sold my soul for will never be allowed to happen by my own hand; at the same time, the fact that I would still think like that scares me. What does it matter anymore, after all? Shido… I have escaped his influence a long time ago. And yet as I sat there, listening to the sentence, I realized that it was a lie. He… his influence… will always be a part of me. A despicable, rotten part I wish I could cut out and throw away. The same rotten blood flows through my veins._

_Will it… really solve things, watching him die..?_

_And then, I remember what Futaba-chan had yelled out at him, in that courtroom. The only good that has ever came from you is my brother… Joker, what did I do to deserve something like this..? From the girl I hurt so much… How do I ever repay this? What do I do, how should I feel? Is it right for me to despise the very blood that links me to my incredible, brave little sister..?_

_I feel so confused; and as I lay here thinking, minutes seem long like days. The silence in this place is starting to get to me. I have no idea how much longer will I be confined here now, that Shido’s fate has been sealed, but… it is slowly starting to grate on me more and more._

_Can I have a request to you, then..? I know Sae-san delivers and picks up our correspondence on her way between Leblanc and my place of residence anyway. The next time you send me a letter, could you please pass me something that I could fill my time with? Books that would interest me are running out recently; and so are things I can do here. Yesterday, I went to exercise and after two hours on the bike I was surprised to hear how much time I spent on it, and then requested if I could ride a little bit more. Today, I can’t move my legs, but at least I passed the time somehow._

_I wish I could see you. That desire, more than anything else, is gnawing on me more and more._

_Please, write back soon._  
Yours,  
Crow

* * *

 

_Crow,_

_I’m sorry for the longer-than-usual wait. As per your previous request, we – all of the Phantom Thieves – pinched in to send you something to fill out your time with. Everyone attached their own notes to the items they chose to send you; I think Sae-san will be pretty angry at us for the weight of the package we ended up with._

_Please, don’t lose hope._

_I thought a lot of what you’ve wrote me; about Shido, and your feelings towards his sentence. I can’t really say I understand – I have never been in a situation such as this, but I can see how conflicted Futaba feels over all this, and I can read how conflicted you feel. I do, at least, understand how difficult this must be for you. I wish I could be of more help._

_It… made me happy, to read you wish to see me. That, I can understand all too well. How can it be, that someone whom I shared so – comparatively – little time with, someone whom I barely ever talked about my own feelings to could leave such emptiness in my heart upon leaving..? I find myself doing the strangest things, waiting for you to come back. I keep rereading your letters; trying to imagine your voice reading out the words written down on the pages. Last night, I woke up at two in the morning and searched for you on the bed. I wanted to hold you; to run my fingers through your hair. I laid for hours wondering, half-awake, whether they shaved off your hair when they arrested you, and whether I’ll even be able to touch them again before I remembered I saw you on TV just few days ago, your hair perfectly intact. In the mornings, I catch myself making more coffee or curry than needed; and not just me. The amount of time Boss set out three plates of curry instead of two, only to stare at the third…_

_We all miss you. I miss you. I’m angry, too. At you, at myself… why did we wait, Crow? We still had time. If you had not pushed me away back then, if I was just a little bit more persistent… what memories we could have made, what conversations we could have had..? Now, it feels wasted, and I feel sick even thinking of how stupid we were. You said you did all that back then to make it easier for us. How could we even allow ourselves to think that it might have been easier..?_

_Parting from you, the man I shared my soul with…_

_How could this ever be easy..?_

_The worse it feels, the more I think of the future, to try and somehow get myself to cheer up, to think of better things than wasted time. I think of you coming back home. I think of holding you, of kissing you; I think of coming home to you. These thoughts hurt as well, but it’s a sweet pain this time._

_Once you come back… what will you do? I keep talking about you coming back home… but is this what you want? Will you come back to Leblanc? To me…? What will you want to do, find a job, go to some university? Where?_

_There are so many things, and yet if it only means we’ll be together again, I feel like I don’t need to worry about any of that. How weird is it, huh…_

_Write to me again. Soon.  
Joker_

* * *

 

_Joker,_

_I… wanted to thank everyone for their gifts here, and have you deliver my thanks; but the thank-you notes turned into a full-fledged letters, until it was easier to put them in separate envelopes and ask Sae-san to take them to Leblanc, where I’m sure they will find their further destinations. Thank you, thank you all so much. The books, the Gameboy, the puzzles, the crosswords, the stationery… everything is now filling my day with a lot more than was there before, and it helps me go through the last few days before the trial._

_I’m somewhat nervous. At first, I was not; it was just one more thing to wait for, one more date to remember. Now, I feel both excited and terrified. I never thought it’d be the case, but… I want to be given the right to come back home. To come back to you. I hope against hope that my sentence will be a light one. How long have we been apart..? Almost three months, huh… and if this is the agony that much time brings, then what could years possibly feel like..?_

_I had to read your last letter through hundreds of times by now, trying to think of a reply; and also trying to believe what was written in there. You wrote of anger, loss, misery, of pain… of all the things you experience, and yet as I read it, it was as if I was hearing my own thoughts._

_We wasted time; mostly by my own fault. You ask me what do I plan for the future… as if you haven’t already known the answer. Whether it will be a job or a university degree, whether it will be here or there, it will be with you. I understand now that this is how it has to be, how I want it to be. You’re right, of course. You always were. For the two of us, who shared a soul, how could there ever be anyone else..?_

_There are words I wish to write here. Words I know I should not write, for they are too heavy and too meaningful to give them over to paper and ink. Words that can only be spoken face to face, your hands in mine. I doubt general public will consider this enough of a punishment, but truly; being kept here, away from you, is the worst sentence I could have been given. And still, the analytical part of my brain wonders if this – agonizing as it feels – isn’t what we both needed, in the end. The chance to face our feelings on our own. The chance to truly look into ourselves. And the chance to truly appreciate this that we cannot now have._

_I know already – Sae-san told me this much – that you will be there, on my trial, bound by your word not to speak out. I won’t try to persuade you against it. I want to see you too much; and perhaps the nervousness I feel now will be lessened by the knowledge that there, somewhere in the crowd, I will have an ally; someone who refuses to stop fighting for me._

_I will see you, soon, my Storyteller  
Crow_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and as always, thanks to Nate!
> 
> Next update on August 7th!
> 
> If you enjoy my stories, you can hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


	13. Judgment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Akechi Goro's trial has come.

It was scary, walking into the courtroom – the same courtroom they all once sat in, in order for Sae to notice them and admit them further into her Palace. She was there once again; sitting, straight and serious, in her chair on the left side of the room, waiting for the rest of the participants to arrive. What strings did she have to pull, to admit all of the Phantom Thieves in while outside, there was a huge queue of people wishing to attend, with posters and signs, yelling for Goro’s release, Akira will never know; but he was grateful for it. The whole team was there, together with Sojiro; and all of them were tense and silent as they waited, nervous of what this day might bring.

Akira himself felt numb. Part of him dreaded this day; and part of him couldn’t take waiting for it to arrive anymore. No matter what, today he will know how much longer will they be separated; and finally, the uncertainty and the wait will end. This was something that had to be the bright light for both himself and Goro; the one reason the two of them still had the strength to go on.

The door to the far right opened, and he walked in; and Akira felt sudden weakness come over him as he felt Sojiro’s hand squeeze his shoulder gently. Goro had changed; he had seen this during Shido’s trial already; but it was still him, thinner and more tired, but still him. Their eyes locked and Akira smiled, seeing Goro return the sad smile before looking away, his eyes hidden by his long bangs. What was he thinking about? Was he feeling the same sweet kind of pain Akira did, too, seeing him..?

Goro sat down with his attorney. He was facing Sae, with his profile to the audience, silent and thoughtful. He kept looking up, searching for their faces, and locking eyes with Akira now and again. Every time he did, it was the same shot of sweet, excruciating pain; because Goro was there and Akira was here, and though they could see one another, they were as far as if the heavy gate in the engine room still separated them.

Throughout the trial, it was hard to focus on anything other than Goro. Sae’s line of questioning was fair; Akira had enough respect for her to know she will not try to outright rig the judges in Goro’s favour; but still, he knew that if she only wanted, she could have presented it in much more unfavourable way. Goro stood up when asked, and told his testimony once more; not leaving out anything, and only telling of the deeper motives of his actions when asked, whether by his own attorney or by Sae. Ryuuji grew restless during the long list of confessions the former detective made, in calm, decisive voice.

“That idiot!” he whispered quietly. “Why’s he telling all this..?”

“Well, he has to.” Akira shook his head, before his own focused look softened a bit. “It’s a good strategy, though. He seems all the more remorseful for not trying to give excuses on his own, right?”

Witnesses have been called forth; Shido was testifying, and Akira couldn’t help but feel his hands clench as he listened to him talk. Granted, the man took, once again, all of the blame on himself, and talked at length about being the reason Goro started to kill in the first place, and forcing the boy to do it via threats and manipulation. Still, watching Goro during that testimony; pale and looking away from his father, lips set tight and body rigid, was painful to look at. If he didn’t know full well how much self-control Goro possessed, Akira would have been worried about him doing – or saying – something stupid to all that.

More witnesses were called. Futaba made her statement, confirming what both Shido and – upon questioning – Goro had said before, concerning her mother’s death. The former detective looked close to tears as he looked at her on the witness stand, and when she returned to sit with them again, Sojiro pulled her gently closer to herself, patting her shoulder and trying to calm her down. There were more questions from the persecution to Goro; ones concerning the Phantom Thieves this time, and all of them started to listen a lot more intently. Their last calling card has been shown once more; Crow’s silhouette pointed out there to match Goro’s, and thus confirm his testimony of being a member of the Phantom Thieves. And then, Sae asked one more question, and Akira couldn’t help but smile as he listened to it.

“You admit to being a member of the Phantom Thieves, then.”

“For a time, yes.”

“Is it safe to assume that you know the identities of the other members of the group?”

And Goro looked at Sae with a tired frown, before closing his eyes and replying calmly.

“It is safe to assume so; however, no matter how much my own sentence might suffer because of it, no one, in this room or beyond, will ever hear this information from me. That is all I have to say on the matter.”

The trial continued after that, for just a little bit longer. Few more witnesses have appeared; Goro had to explain the differences between psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns, and Sae made him deliberate on the fact that causing a person to have a mental shutdown did not explicitly lead to their death. Then, there was a call for the audience to come forward with any and all useful information, and Akira could feel Goro’s eyes on himself, the intensity of them.

 _Don’t even think about it_. He could hear these words so well, it was as if Goro had whispered them right into his ear. Still, Akira needed every ounce of his self-control not to stand up and explain; and say so much more besides. The more shocked he was – all of them were – when he felt someone stand up to his side, and looked over to see it was Haru. Even Sae looked surprised and uncertain at that. The girl has been asked to the witness stand and went there, head raised high amid hushed whispers, and introduced herself before the court.

“My name is Okumura Haru; my father was one of the last victims of mental shutdown cases.” she said quietly, but in an unwavering voice. “I simply wanted to make sure that my voice – a voice of someone who has been directly touched by Akechi-kun’s actions – has been heard. I don’t think there is a sentence high enough for me to forgive the one responsible for the death of my father… but that person has already been sentenced, and given death penalty.”

Murmurs went through the courtroom, and Akira found himself breathing again. Goro looked positively as if he has just been struck by a lighting; his russet eyes trained on Haru’s figure as she stood there, the girl whose father he had murdered, speaking in his defence.

“That being said, I implore the court to take this into consideration; Akechi-kun, being the Phantom Thief himself, has helped avenge my father, and did the same thing in stepping up to testify against the one who ordered his death. I have no grudge against him; and seeing him sentenced will bring me no joy, nor closure. I believe, with all my heart, that this is the sentiment shared by the other victims as well.”

And with that, Haru finished her speech and – after few additional questions – sat down, trembling all over her body from the until-now concealed nerves. Akira leaned over and squeezed her hand, and she smiled at him weakly.

“…thank you.” he mouthed, letting his expression and gaze say the rest. The girl smiled softly and shook her head at him.

“No need. This was the right thing to do.”

 

* * *

 

They were asked out of the courtroom for the time the court needed to deliberate the sentence. The Phantom Thieves kept together, talking nervously between themselves when Akira felt a light pat on his shoulder, and turned around to see a _terrified_ looking young man in a suit, fiddling with a sheet of paper.

“K-kurusu Akira?” the man stammered, and Akira nodded, eyes wide and surprised, wondering why this guy looked like he wanted to be everywhere but not in this place, speaking with him, saying the things he was saying.

“I-I am Niijima-san’s, erm… a-assistant. I have been told… this… this is really not in the protocol, but… apparently, I am to take you, to, erm… consult the suspect…? I… If only you’d come with me…”

For a moment there, Akira forgot how to breathe all over again. The emotions he felt all of a sudden made him stumble, but the next second, he felt himself take a step forward, all but begging the meek man to lead him. Sae… she really went all out for them, didn’t she? Akira felt such gratefulness towards the strict prosecutor; and yet, the moment the frightened assistant opened certain door for him and ushered him inside, all the thoughts and emotions except for one flew out of his head.

“Goro.” Akira whispered, watching the boy lower the book he was reading and turn his head, eyes wide and surprised and lips parting to form a question that’s never been asked; because the next moment, Akira pulled him into his arms, squeezing him tightly and feeling the former detective’s hands twist tightly in the material of his shirt as he hid his face in the corner of his neck, breathing in the other’s warmth and his intoxicating scent. Vaguely, from behind himself, Akira could hear the embarrassed coughing as the assistant excused himself and closed the door, leaving the two of them alone; and that was all he needed to lean back, cup Goro’s cheeks in his hands and press his lips against the other boy’s, again and again, not knowing how much time they had, unable to let go.

“Akira…” he heard a soft whisper of his name, and then laughter; Goro’s laughter, and gods, there was no better sound; as he pushed him lightly away and escaped from another kiss, pressing their foreheads together instead.

“You do realize there are cameras in here… right?”

“I don’t care.”

Goro smiled at him, their noses brushing together as they remained in the tight hold, drinking in each other’s warmth.

“…how did you get in here..?”

“Sae-san… I swear, if I wasn’t very much taken at the moment, I’d marry this woman for all the good she has done for us.”

“Please don’t.” Goro laughed quietly, and Akira couldn’t help himself but kiss him again.

“I missed this.”

“Me too… god, seeing you sit there on the stand, it was worse than I thought. It took all the self-control I had not to just stand up and walk over to you, trial be damned.”

“It went well, though, didn’t it?” Akira said uncertainly, as Goro guided them to sit down, though they were still pressed close to one another. The former detective hummed thoughtfully.

“It did. There were… several instances I did not predict. I need to thank Futaba and Haru-san properly again…”

“They were amazing.” Akira agreed, resting his chin on Goro’s shoulder and closing his eyes as they snuggled closer to each other. He hesitated for a moment, before speaking again.

“Do you think… it’s enough for them to let you go..?”

Akira knew the answer even before he asked the question; but to feel Goro’s sad smile against his skin and hear him reply was trying in on its own.

“…it’s objectively impossible for me to be pronounced innocent, Akira.”

“Yes, but…”

“As it happens, I talked with Sae-san about this right after we went out.” Goro said quietly, his hands moving down to hold Akira’s. “Of course, it’s nothing certain until we hear the actual verdict, but…”

“…how many years?”

“Akira… now, what you need to understand is…”

“E-erm…” the cough from the door startled the two of them; and Goro stood up, slipping from the raven’s arms the moment they opened, revealing the assistant. “I-I’m sorry, Kurusu-kun, but I need to take you back right now. The court will soon be ready…”

Akira shook his head and looked at Goro, who sighed, and gently nudged him forward.

“…go. You’ll find out in a moment anyway. Just… don’t panic, alright? It will be okay.” Goro smiled at him softly, and Akira tried to smile back before pulling him into one last, tight hug.

“…be brave.”

 

* * *

 

The Phantom Thieves were in more or less a state of panic looking for him by the time he found them as they all entered the courtroom once more; still, a quick explanation of where he went and whom was he with got Akira off the hook, as they bombarded him with questions of how Goro was and what did he say, and whether or not he knew what the verdict might be. Most of them were optimistic; the trial really couldn’t have went any better, it seemed. Goro walked in; and only now, looking at him, Akira realized the other’s lips were a bit more pink than before, and blushed lightly at the thought. The judges and Sae followed, the prosecutor’s face emotionless as she took her seat, not looking either at Goro or the rest of the Phantom Thieves. They went on a long-winded speech, and as he listened to it all, Akira found himself getting more and more restless, his leg kicking right alongside Ryuuji’s. By the end of it, he got so frustrated he was almost tempted to stand up and yell at all these stupid adults to finish up with their speeches and their pomposity and tell him the sentence already. Luckily, before he could do that, silence finally fell, and the judge looked over at Goro, the boy’s face pale, but calm.

“…as such, after listening and deliberating over the case, the jury has come to the following conclusion. Akechi Goro, I pronounce you guilty of your crimes, and sentence you to fifteen years of prison.”

The judge’s lips moved after that sentence, but Akira couldn’t hear him anymore. All that he heard was a high, piercing sound and head-crushing silence as he stared, pale and filled with disbelief; and then slipped silently down onto his chair, his heart shattering into pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and as always, thanks to Nate!
> 
> Next update on August 14th!
> 
> If you enjoy my stories, you can hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


	14. Life Will Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting between dream and reality shines some light on Goro's sentence.

The rest of the trial, the ride home and the following hours were the longest Akira has ever lived through. Ever since the verdict, he’s been sitting there; eyes wide in shock, unresponsive to his friends’ gentle attempts at consoling him. They all felt terrible. They all felt like they failed. Returning home with their heads down and tails between their legs, the _15 years_ beating around their heads.

Akira himself could scarcely find it in himself to be the comforting presence. For once, he could not be the leader to them. Futaba has been sobbing quietly all the way home, but he; he was just sitting there, still and staring out the window with unseeing eyes. He had no plan, no prospects to help, no _hope_. And that was only made worse when Akira imagined how _Goro_ had to feel.

As they stumbled into Leblanc and sat down in silence, Akira expected to feel better. He usually did, sitting here with his family, no matter how dire the situation was. But Futaba slumped over the counter, her phone laying useless beside her; he himself was still staring off, feeling numb; and even Sojiro didn’t seem to be able to try and keep their spirits high. He didn’t even get behind the counter; only sat in one of the booths, looking from one of them to the other.

Akira wasn’t sure how many hours they sat together like this. At some point, he stood up; got his apron and started mechanically preparing coffee for them, serving them to quiet, dazed _thank yous_.

Fifteen years. Half of a life. In fifteen years, Akira… Akira would be thirty two. He’d have a job, hopefully, he’d have graduated from some university or the other. At thirty two, he’d have wanted to start thinking of saving the money he’d be earning for some little place he and Goro could retire to. He’d have wanted to settle into some daily routine with the former detective; he’d have wanted to already have a lifetime of memories with him.

Thirty two wasn’t the age to be _starting_ a life.

 _It could have been worse_ , a thought crossed Akira’s dazed mind. _It could have been twenty five._ It could have been a lifetime instead of some half of it. It could have been worse, but it wasn’t any better for that knowledge, either…

“…maybe he’ll come out on good behaviour.” Sojiro’s voice felt strange and too loud after the deafening silence they were sitting in for so long. Both Akira and Futaba turned to him with unseeing eyes, frowning as they tried to understand what he was talking about.

“…huh?”

“Well, you hear all the time how sentences get shortened for good conduct in prison, right..? And he’s well-behaved… They’ll let him go earlier. That judge said he’ll be eligible for parole, too. He’ll come back to us, soon.”

“…how soon?” Akira murmured, and Sojiro just sighed.

They parted, unable to keep sitting there hopelessly. Futaba and Sojiro went home, and Akira climbed up to his attic; one he wished he didn’t have to go to, with all the memories it held, with the images of Goro’s soft skin and softer lips against his own. He slumped onto the bed and closed his eyes; expecting a night with no sleep, and memories tormenting him into the morning. He did _not_ , however, expect his dream being taken over by the familiar, blue hue he has been certain he will never see again…

 

* * *

 

The door to his cell were opened, and Goro smiled softly, tiredly, at Lavenza and Igor as they turned to welcome him. He was not hopeful his plea would work. He was past any hope at this point; but that did not mean he was about to stop trying to fight, and about to give up on the idea of meeting Akira and comforting him.

“Welcome, Goro Akechi.” Lavenza said to him, and he nodded gratefully at her.

“Thank you for listening to my request. I was not certain it will work… or if you were even still here.”

Both Igor and Lavenza chuckled quietly at him; and the girl hugged the grimoire she held close to her chest.

“Consider it a payment; a consolation for us allowing you to be chosen by this false god.”

Goro sighed, looking away. He wished they did not remind him of this; of _everything_. Suddenly, being allowed to meet with Akira in a dream didn’t seem like this much of a kindness from these two; no matter how little hand they had in him and the raven ending up like they did.

“…where is he?”

“He will be here any moment now. We will, of course, allow you to have some privacy; however, the moment you hear the bell ring, your time will be up. One of you, or both of you, will be called back into the real world. Use your time well.”

“Of course.” Goro nodded, and watched them disappear before leaning back against Igor’s desk, looking around the circular room that was, for now, the only way he could think of to meet with Akira, quickly and without witnesses.

It was, admittedly, a rather bold plan. He has started wishing for this meeting to occur long ago; during the long, excruciating hours he has spent laying on the bed in his solitary confinement cell, chewing through his old memories, waiting for his trial. Only now, though, was he getting desperate. He _had to_ meet with Akira somehow; had to send him a word and explain the ruling of his trial better than the raven was bound to interpret it as. Goro has seen him, in that courtroom, when the sentence was being pronounced. He saw the shock and despair in Akira’s face as he slid soundlessly down onto his chair; and saw his dazed, unseeing eyes throughout the rest of his trial.

That Igor and Lavenza would hear his pleas and comply, allowing them to meet in their dreams, was a long shot; but it _was_ better than nothing.

“ _Goro_.”

The name was a breath on the raven’s lips, and Goro felt himself twirl around as he watched Akira stand up from the bed in his own cell and run up to him. His own arms opened as the raven fell into them, their lips pressing together desperately, their arms wrapping one another in a tight hug. For a long while, this was all that mattered. Words could be left for later; they _needed_ one another now, the comfort of their arms, the warmth of their bodies, their scents mixing and filling their nostrils like much-coveted air.

“Goro…” Akira’s voice came out as a sob in between their kisses, and the former detective felt his heart break in the sweetest of ways.

“I’m here.” he whispered, holding him all the tighter. “I’m here, I’m with you, Akira. I’m here.”  

“Is this… really Velvet Room..? Is this you, or just a dream? I…”

“Shush.” Goro whispered, quieting Akira down with another kiss. He knew this had to be confusing; the one reason why he was here, why he has arranged for this meeting was to clear things up, but now that he had Akira here, explanations were hardly the priority. It was hard to breathe without the raven’s lips against his own at all times.

“It’s me… it’s really Velvet Room, I promise. I needed to talk to you.”

“But… Igor, Lavenza, where…?”

“They left, to give us some privacy. I… I didn’t want to have to stop myself from kissing you just because we wouldn’t be alone.”

Akira snorted a quiet laughter; one that threatened to turn into tears, and so Goro pulled him closer, kissing the raven again. He didn’t think he could ever get enough of these kisses, now that he felt he _could_ kiss his lover without guilt and without shame.

“…now I know this isn’t a dream.” Akira whispered against his lips, brushing their noses together in a sweet eskimo kiss. “You’re such a dork, I could never dream you like this. And besides, I wouldn’t have such nice dreams after… God, Goro… _fifteen years_ … what are we going to do..?”

“That’s the whole reason why I asked Igor to allow us to meet, Akira.” Goro murmured softly, snuggling close against his lover. “I knew Sae-san would be too busy to inform you; I wasn’t even sure if she would at all.”

“Inform me?”

“Yes. It’s still… not set in stone, but I am certain enough that I can tell you this with conviction; I won’t be doing my whole sentence.”

“…what?”

“That’s the deal Sae-san tried to force me to take, and succeeded in doing so. The truth is, no one really cares what happens to me. Shido is the one they want to get rid of, and want the whole attention on. I needed to be tried and given a fair sentence, and fifteen years is less than I deserve…”

“Goro, fifteen years is too—”

“Let me finish.” Goro smiled softly, cupping Akira’s cheeks in his hands. “I don’t know how much time we’ll have here. You’ve heard what the judge has said. I will be eligible for parole in a year, with the months I have been kept in solitary confinement already counting into my sentence. I have already received this parole. It’s not exactly the same as _freedom_ per say, I will still technically be serving a sentence, but not in prison.”

Even in a dream, even with the sudden onslaught of information flooding him, Akira was still sharp enough to put together what Goro was talking about. The raven’s eyes shone as he held him tighter, searching Goro’s face for a sign of a lie, or mockery. Instead of this, he saw love and softness, and his own eyes softened, too; as hope appeared in them for the first time since they entered this room between dream and reality.

“So then…” Akira whispered, as if afraid that if he talks too loud, this moment will disappear.

“So then,” Goro smiled, pressing their foreheads together. “I’ll be home for Christmas, my love.”

 

* * *

 

The first morning after the trial should have been the worst one Akira has ever encountered; worse than the one after his arrest, or after Goro’s disappearing. It should have been a morning of numbness and hopelessness; but instead, Akira has woken up with a soft smile on his face.

Igor has been kind to them, and allowed them time. After explaining – and he had a lot of explaining to do before Akira has been truly convinced he wasn’t just making this up – Goro was all too happy for them to cuddle, kiss and talk for the reminder of the time they had left. It was long hours they were given, and they spent them well, drinking in each other’s presence, as if wishing they could somehow charge themselves for the long months to come. They talked; of everything and nothing, of the things that before, they had neither time nor opportunity to say.

It’s not like they ever before had time to open up to one another about their pasts; their present worries and future dreams.

Goro has told him so much about himself, things Akira has never even thought to fathom. He has told him about his miserable childhood; about his mother, and the day he has found her, laying in the bathtub, in water that turned to blood. He has told him of his years in various foster homes and orphanages, of his search for Shido, of the beginnings of his grand plan for revenge and of his hopeless obsession with the man that has turned out to be the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

Akira had more to say about their present. He has confided in Goro of how difficult it was, in the end, to be the leader; how often he woke up in cold sweat because of nightmares of one of his friends dying because of him. He told Goro of the nightmares he had of the night he had died; and the more recent one, of everyone disappearing, and him laying there, helpless, unable to do anything for those he loved.

They talked about what happened here; in this very Velvet Room; and how much being tempted hurt Akira then. They talked of Satanael, and they talked of the feeling of becoming one; of their thoughts, minds and souls melding together, just like their lips seemed to now, soft sounds escaping them as they kissed the night away.

It was Goro who started to talk about his dreams for the future. It will be tough, he confessed; to find a college that would take him, with criminal record such as his. Perhaps, he could apply for identity change, to make things easier; he had an idea for a surname already, if Boss and Futaba won’t protest.

Sakura Goro had a nice ring to it, after all.

The college didn’t have to be prestigious, Goro said, threading his fingers through Akira’s soft hair. He wanted to learn to become a proper detective; and if police academy won’t want a past convict, then he wanted to work at a foster home somewhere. So that he could help children like he once was; so that he could change the world for the better for once, if only just a little bit.

Akira didn’t have plans quite as pronounced, he confessed, and Goro chuckled and kissed his nose, telling him that he still had time. The raven spoke, wonderingly, about business management; perhaps the same college Haru was aiming for. She will need help setting up her own chain of cafés, and she has already asked Akira what he would think of helping her create it. If Goro would be interested, they could make it a joint enterprise, just the three of them.

 _As long as we’re together_ , Goro had said, and Akira felt himself smile up at the dusty ceiling, covering his face in his hands. As long as they were together, the future held no obstacles too big for them. As long as they were together, they will be alright. In nine months, his lover will be back home; and their future – together – will finally begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and as always, thanks to Nate!
> 
> Next - and last - update on August 17th!
> 
> If you enjoy my stories, you can hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year has passed; and once again, Tokyo is being covered in thin blanket of snow. 
> 
> A former convict walks out of his cell, ready to return home.

It was snowing again, Goro thought briefly, as he walked through the empty courtyard of the prison he has spent the last nine months in. The snowflakes swirled in the morning air, muting the world around him and turning it white and somehow blurred around the edges. Some nestled in his hair, melting and making them wet; just like they did almost exactly a year ago, in the alleyways between Shibuya and Yongen-Jaya, where he has first let his lover know about his plans.

It felt a lifetime ago now.

A lot has changed during the year they spent apart. Goro has changed; both in appearance and otherwise. His body has become thinner and more muscular; his hair grew until he could tie them into a proper ponytail now. His face was thinner and more chiselled, but his eyes were more open and softer now, the mask he used to hide his true feelings behind discarded a long time ago.

The heavy, metal door opened for him, and Goro smiled and nodded at the guard who waved him off; a rather modest farewell, but it wasn’t like he expected anything else. Being out has been gratifying enough. He didn’t need unnecessary goodbyes from people he hoped he will never see again to add into it.

The sports bag that contained the few things he owned and wanted to keep – his correspondence with Akira and many gifts from the Phantom Thieves, mainly – swung over his shoulder, Goro started to walk slowly down the quiet, snowy street. He stopped at the small parking lot, smiling as he noticed the old car he remembered from a year ago. The door to it opened, and the smiling face of Sojiro beamed at him; and all of a sudden, Goro felt he was truly going home.

“Well? Get in here, kid, I don’t have a whole day.” the man chuckled at him, and Goro grinned and opened the door, throwing his bag in and sitting down on the seat.

“Hello, Boss.”

“…it’s good to see you, kid.”

The road was quiet, but it was neither uncomfortable nor awkward. There were too many things to talk about; too many of them needing their whole little family to be talked about. Goro leaned back on his seat, looking at the city passing behind his window. It’s been so long since he has seen it last.

The year was a long one, that was for certain. The one meeting in Velvet Room they were granted was hardly enough to keep him and Akira going; and after the one, single time they were allowed to meet in prison – their hands pressing against each other through the cold glass separating them – they never met again. Seeing one another through glass, unable to talk freely, unable to touch has been too painful to repeat; and whatever comfort the long letters they exchanged on daily basis brought was hardly enough to heal after it.

Others visited him, of course. Sojiro and Futaba stopped by almost every month, sometimes more. The rest of the former Phantom Thieves visited as well; some more often than others. Goro found himself growing surprisingly close with them; especially with Yusuke, who has been visiting the prison often, both to see Goro and Madarame, who happened to be locked in the same facility as him. During one of the lengthy talks he has started having with the young artist, Goro found that Yusuke has been trying to rekindle the connection he has once shared with his sensei; and forgive him, eventually. Goro has confessed this was impressing. He himself was unable to think of forgiveness in relation to his own, terrible father, even now that said father has been sentenced and waiting on death row.

He has met with Shido a few times, over the year. It was easy enough to arrange; the death row wing has been only few walls away, after all. He has been apologized to; and told about the mother he hardly remembered, and of the reasons and feelings and motives that threw him into the life that eventually led to his death and rebirth.

It was not enough to make him forgive the man. As he has confessed in one of the lengthy letters he has sent to Akira after one such meeting, Shido talking about his mother, about abandoning her, about everything he did and why he has done it only fuelled the hate he has felt for him. It made him glad his father was about to be executed. Akira replied to it with a careful note that however he understands why Goro would feel that way, he wishes he could help him get over his feelings, rather than drown in them.

Goro answered with a half-joking reassurance he was not planning on killing Shido again. There was no point in it now, after all.

Wide, modern streets of Tokyo turned to small alleyways that looked frozen in time. This early in the morning, there weren’t many people out. It was just as well, Goro supposed. Despite the time that passed, he could still be easily recognized; and putting it in public’s eye that he has been let out fourteen years before the end of his rightful sentence was neither in his, nor in the police’s interest. They slowly rolled into Yongen-Jaya’s narrow streets and pulled in by the Boss’s house. He looked over at Goro with a fond smile, ruffling his hair.

“…go on. I’ll wake Futaba up in a moment and we’ll go join you. I left Leblanc open. Just don’t take too long, alright?”

“Understood.” Goro whispered with a soft smile, opening the door. “Thank you, Boss.”

“Heh, no problem, kid. I hope you didn’t forget how to make coffee. I want you to help out once you’re all settled in again.”

“Of course.”

Goro grabbed his bag and slid out from the car, taking a deep, stabilizing breath. He knew the way; he walked it so often in his dreams. Down the alleyway, by the second-hand shop, into another one; he could see the never-changing front of Leblanc, and hear the soft chiming of the bell as he pushed the door open. The scent of coffee and curry filled his nostrils, and Goro felt his knees go weak as he supported himself on the counter, closing his eyes as he entered his _home_. The only one he has ever truly had.

“Heh. I thought you’d never come.”

The voice from somewhere around his ankles made Goro stare, before he grinned and crouched as Morgana laughed and stood on his hind paws, bumping his head against Goro’s chin in greeting.

“Hello, Morgana. It’s good to see you again.”

“Same with you, Crow!” Morgana chuckled, moving away and hopping up onto one of the seats by the counter. Akira has wrote him – in a hand still shaking from emotion – how the cat walked into Leblanc one evening, and explained that because they all still believed in him and remembered him, he did not disappear as they all originally though. Goro smiled softly, leaning against the counter as well as he reached his hand out, scratching gently behind Morgana’s ears.

“…thanks for coming back. And being there for him. I don’t know if he told you, but you’ve made that year a lot easier.”

“Not as much as you would have.” Morgana hummed quietly, before nodding towards the stairs. “Well, go on. I won’t keep you here.”

“He’s still asleep?”

“It’s six in the morning. Of course he is.”

Goro chuckled quietly and stood up, walking towards the stairs. With every step up he took, his heart seemed to be picking up its pace; until finally, the familiar attic came into view.

It was cleaner than he remembered it, was ridiculously the first thought Goro had. There was an actual bed here now, instead of just a mattress set on few plastic crates, and the desk that used to be covered in bits and pieces from Akira’s infiltration tool set was now covered in books, documents and loose pages and envelopes; some of which Goro recognized, with a warm feeling spreading in his chest, as the ones he himself addressed and sent.

The TV and old game console were still there; but the shelves with coffee beans bags were now filled with books and neatly-folded clothes, and gifts from Akira’s friends littered every bit of free, flat space. The heater was warming up the cool, December morning air and under many blankets, wrapped in them like in a cocoon, Goro saw the silhouette of the man he dreamed of seeing again for the last year.

He came closer quietly, dropping his bag on the couch and sitting on the side of the bed; smiling as he saw the mop of unruly, black hair move as Akira murmured something and shifted in his sleep. The raven has changed, too, though not as much as he did. He looked more mature now; more serious, even as he was sleeping. For a long moment, Goro allowed himself to simply watch him sleep peacefully, before he leaned in, pressing his lips to Akira’s own.

“Good morning, love.” he whispered, and as Akira blinked his eyes open and looked up at him, a huge, bright smile blooming on his handsome features, for the third and most pronounced time this day, Goro has finally, truly felt at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this story - the first one I wrote for the fandom - was a blast. It's hard to think how much time has passed since I started to publish it, and we're finally at the end. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had with writing it ^^ 
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading, commenting and supporting this story! Thanks to Nate and Spoof for being my betas and for supporting me on the way.
> 
> If you enjoy my stories, you can hmu on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings)!


End file.
